[x123]

I think I might be happier if I had purpose in life that I could make progress towards. Whenever I try to invent a purpose I go blank. I have no wife, children, or friends. I have an elderly mother who is a bit pushy about demanding that I spend time with her almost every day. I have a job in a family business that I don't like and consumes all my time and energy and gives me worries about financial problems, management problems, etc.

I do care about my cat and my mother. I want to outlive them. That's not much of a purpose in life. Sometimes I am consumed by anger for being trapped in this situation.

[MickeyCheeky]

Sorry you feel this way..

What can you change?

[x123]

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

What can you change?

I don't know what I can change. Theoretically, there are lots of things I can change if I am willing to hurt people around me. I don't know what I would accomplish by making some of these changes, because I have no vision of what I want for me. All I know is that I feel trapped and I feel like my life is being wasted. Maybe my life is already over mostly so it doesn't matter (I am 50 years old).

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Do you like helping people - or even if you don't enjoy it, do you end up doing it anyway (not out of being commanded to but bc you feel you should)?

Do you tend to guide people along in their next step in their life?

Sometimes our purpose is not one we need a job or education for... Sometimes it's just something that's been a part of our personality since birth.

Analyze and see if you see anything...

Perhaps the people around you wouldn't be as hurt as you imagine?

Could you see that others might think you're prioritizing rather than setting out to hurt? There's a difference...
Could you look around to see if there's a place that's a better fit for you in your business? Even just testing the waters might be a good thing to do...

[leejosepho]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Do you like helping people... ?

Do you tend to guide people along... ?

For many years now I have believed and acted upon the idea that success and purpose in life are about what we give and not what we gain.

[avlady]

i also believe we get things in return when we give of ourselves, you sound positive, maybe your nich hasn't arrived yet. i'm 56 and just starting to find a new one by going back to college.good luck!!

[x123]

Originally Posted by avlady

i also believe we get things in return when we give of ourselves, you sound positive, maybe your nich hasn't arrived yet. i'm 56 and just starting to find a new one by going back to college.good luck!!

One of my problems is low self esteem combined with unrealistically high expectations and a feeling of being trapped in a humiliating dead-end life. When old friends or family visit it is particularly bad, because I feel that they are judging me as unsuccessful. In reality, I'm sure it is mostly me that is judging and comparing - not them.

Sometimes I have thought that if I was able to accomplish something that makes me proud of myself then it might help me to be more at peace and nicer to people around me. I have thought about trying to take math classes at a community college. I think that would make me proud of myself. The problem is finding the time when I have a tiger by the tail with this infernal family business. LOL

[x123]

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Do you like helping people - or even if you don't enjoy it, do you end up doing it anyway (not out of being commanded to but bc you feel you should)?

Do you tend to guide people along in their next step in their life?

Sometimes our purpose is not one we need a job or education for... Sometimes it's just something that's been a part of our personality since birth.

Analyze and see if you see anything...

I do take some satisfaction in helping people - mostly employees. I am always loaning them money to help them. Often they quit later and never pay me back, so it's a bit stupid of me. Other times the money I loaned them is wasted and helps nobody. When it does help somebody I feel like something was accomplished. If I can help somebody else who does have hope in life then it is good. It is better than the hamster wheel that I run in day after day.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Originally Posted by x123

I do take some satisfaction in helping people - mostly employees. I am always loaning them money to help them. Often they quit later and never pay me back, so it's a bit stupid of me. Other times the money I loaned them is wasted and helps nobody. When it does help somebody I feel like something was accomplished. If I can help somebody else who does have hope in life then it is good. It is better than the hamster wheel that I run in day after day.

I have found even when we feel our help was not returned (your money in this case), later, it when you really need it - its returned in unexpected ways. If you enjoy helping people, never feel bad or "stupid" for doing it - just do it. People need help. It allows them to feel a bit special and loved for a few moments at least. And sometimes - that's enough to make a huge impact on a person. You may not know how much you help a person when you do, you may be helping more than just that one person even. If helping makes you feel good - you also give yourself a boost everytime you do it. Perhaps then, helping truly is the purpose you are looking for ❤

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

Originally Posted by x123

I think I might be happier if I had purpose in life that I could make progress towards. Whenever I try to invent a purpose I go blank. I have no wife, children, or friends. I have an elderly mother who is a bit pushy about demanding that I spend time with her almost every day. I have a job in a family business that I don't like and consumes all my time and energy and gives me worries about financial problems, management problems, etc.

I do care about my cat and my mother. I want to outlive them. That's not much of a purpose in life. Sometimes I am consumed by anger for being trapped in this situation.

I know the feeling. I want to care about things, I want to be passionate about something, but I just...can't. It's just empty inside. I'm always angry and sad, nothing productive. I have flashes of inspiration, but life has a funny way of throwing something at me to make it all evaporate at once.