Are these thoughts normal ?

It seems that every time I walk down the street someone (usually a man) shouts crap out his window at me as he drives by. I've gotten everything from catcalls to insults to inaudible bs to roaring their engines at me as I cross the street then laughing when I jump. Today some guy (It sounded like a teenager but frankly I don't give a ****) said "ooh you're so fat!".

After these things happen I've been fantasizing aabout hurling a soda can or rock or other heavy object through their windows. It honestly scares me that I get so much satisfaction out of the thought of them paying for what they do to me. I'm 100% sure I would never actually do this-I've had plenty of these types of thoughts since being bullied in middle school but never acted on any of them.

So, is this normal? If not, what would you feel if you had been pushed and pushed and were at the end of your tether? I just want to be able to go where I need to go without being harrassed

I think that this is completely normal. You are only human... you cannot expect to not have thoughts like this in this situation. The important thing is that you do not act on them (unless you really are threatened). I really am sorry that this is happening to you though.

It's absolutely normal. I have revenge fantasies when people treat me badly, too.

But as lal81 said, don't act on those feelings.

I'm pretty sure your revenge fantasies are mild, and thus, perfectly normal.

If anything, they're mild compared to mine because I have outright had fantasies of being some kind of ninja and attacking people in their pressure points to surgically inflict maximum pain or being some kind of dark magic user out of an RPG such as a Warlock or Necromancer and using my powers to make people kneel before me and beg for forgiveness all over something stupid like honking their car horn at me when I'm walking to the store or being rude to me or any other trivial reason.

If anybody here is messed up here it's probably me and not you haha

It seems pretty normal. I wouldn't take it personally, these people don't know you, they are immature people that feel the need to do this. I have had people yell "run forest, run" when I was out running and know people do this to people. For some reason there are people that feel the need to cat call or yell at others, probably to make their lives feel more interesting, they are bored and don't care about your feelings. I had a friend who would cat call women and yell things like "you are beautiful" it would embarrass me since i was usually driving and he would get flipped the bird for it. But I would always ask him why he did if he thought the woman would say, "omg stop I want to talk to you." His answer highlighted his view that women are just objects for his viewing and other pleasure. Many men are like this, they think its a complement and the other end is that if they aren't delighted by a womans looks they think its their right to let her know.

Sorry, but as a woman these types of men" are the lowest POS on earth to me.

Very low indeed.

I'm sorry that you've had to deal with this... I have too. Not cat calling, but people driving by and yelling out insults like "faggit." I also had someone spray me with water once and while it obviously didn't hurt, it still pissed me off because it was unwanted.

I too have thoughts of revenge on these types of people.

I truly do think that we should go back to the days where if somebody was disrespecting you for no good reason like that in public it would be legal to knock them on their ***.

If the fear of getting the crap kicked out of them was there than I am certain that these people would learn how to respect others real quick.

That's just my opinion though

We agree on a lot of things, Dark.

So true haha

What's funny is me and my Uncle used to discuss this exact thing because my Uncle is in his 50s and has lived a very interesting life to say the least.

He used to tell me about how back where he lived back when he was growing up how if somebody was going around insulting people, being mean to people for no reason, or disrespecting women, him and the people he hung out with wouldn't talk trash back they would talk with their fists and knock them out and then when they woke up, would buy them a drink and talk about things and the cops wouldn't do anything because they didn't see anything wrong with it.

If only society still worked like that.

Just where are you encountering this? Is this your home neighbourhood? Work? Where you most often do your errands, etc. This seems rather extreme. My gut reaction is to say this is so wrong and empathize. Then however, I tell myself you are in the wrong place. This isn't normal. If it is your home neighbourhood can you move? Can you do your errands elsewhere? Can your employer do something to change the workplace environment?

Being angry for being treated as an object for people to use is absolultely and infuriating.

It's where I live...in a very poor area...in the South. I don't have a choice but to live here due to my income and the fact that I need to be on the bus line. Even if I find a job soon it won't likely be enough to live anywhere else (And I probably cant because I'm trying to go to school for cheap on the condition that I'm disabled but that's another story) I agree that this type of thing might not happen in a better neighborhood or in the North. Here (Tennessee) people have no filters or boundaries.

when exactly was this???? Lol, in all the years I've been alive women have never been able to do that & before my time even if it was legal it wasnt "lady like"

Sad to say but you are right it does seem to be lower class males that act this way, ones who have been brought up learning to disrespect females.

Honestly the only reaction that works is to totally ignore them because they are just trying to get a reaction out of you & a reaction only reinforces their behavior & accomplishes nothing.

The point I was trying to make is that people get away with being like that because there are no real consequences for their actions.

I'm also aware that the laws would have been dependent entirely on where and when one was raised. My uncle, for example, came from a poor background and was an alcoholic and criminal with anger issues for most of his adult life and he would tell me stories about how back where he lived he would pick fights with people who would go around disrespecting others or bullying people weaker than them and most people would look the other way and not call the police. He also told me that a lot of other people where he lived would act like that too.

So I was only basing my claim on stories that a relative twice my age told me which I found fascinating combined with my firm belief that some people need to be taught a harsh lesson in respecting people or else they will never change so if people like my uncle or somebody who has been bullied and harassed most of their life want to get physical with their bullies or if a man wants to defend a woman from guys who harass them even if it means he gets physical with the harasser than I say let them.

When I did something wrong as a child, consequences taught me not to do that again. Sometimes I had to be taught more than once, but if I learned that I couldn't get away with it and that bad things would happen to me, I would stop doing whatever it is that was.

The problem is that certain people continue the same bad behavior because there's no good consequences for their actions.

I partially agree. If someone physically assaults you, you should have the right to... Let's just say it like this... Knock some sense into them. Verbally is harassment and you should be free to express yourself verbally or with certain sign language, if you get my drift.

Certainly, though, if someone physically assaults you, they should go to jail.

If one phycally retaliates to verbal harrassment then they end up the one in jail, definitely NOT teaching the verbal abuser anything except how to probably successfully sue someone in court.

That's true. I wouldn't argue that.

I also feel that if they were taught as children to behave like humans, not animals they wouldn't act that way as adults. A lot of men don't teach their sons to respect women and in the South nobody seems to understand boundaries at all.

Sadly once they're grown people rarely see the error in their ways :/ e

That's right, they rarely do.

You will get no argument from me on this even though I think the system needs to change.

One of the few things that I like about the state that I live in is that they have something called a "make my day law" where if somebody is verbally insulting you and getting in your face or whatever it's legal to get physical with them. I think it should be like that everywhere but that's my opinion.

I also think that there should be stricter requirements put into place before allowing somebody to sue somebody in court because allowing people to take somebody to court over every minor little offense is perhaps one of the biggest issues with the 21st century but that's just my opinion and I won't get further into that.

Eskielover, I agree that's the way it is, and I'm good with that. I am just saying I think you should have the right to return a punch. Certainly you do if it's self-defense. I'm grateful we have laws that let us seek jail and/or compensation for injury.

Of course it's a good law, but then again, I doubt you go around making fun of people and verbally abusing them for kicks. Those people wouldn't get hurt if they would just learn to show some respect, which is why I don't have sympathy for them when someone does retaliate physically. If someone gets beat down because they were being a prick, I wouldn't be the one calling the cops.