What is this??

Hi, I'm Nadia and this is my first post.
At the end of the school year, I went through something... So, my friend had a party with most of the girls in the grade and had my friends lie to me and literally gave each of them an alibi so if I asked what they were doing that weekend then they had an excuse and could cover for her so I wouldn't find out. Well, I found out. I was extremely upset and depressed and she tried to make me feel better by explaining every single thing they did on this weekend trip to a nice beach... Which made me even more upset. I also had a bunch of other people lie to me that weekend so I was already depressed when I found out. Her reasoning to not invite me was because she thought I would throw myself off a cliff when on a hike there. Like seriously????????
I overreacted and told some of my friends the next day at school that I wished I could harm her physically and stuff. Violent, I know. I hang out with guys so I'm used to violence and stuff so... whoops... But she and my friend Amelia found out and instead of asking me to stop or even approaching me about it, she went straight to the principal. I was an emotional WRECK! That messed me up so much! The principal said he'd tell my parents!! Yet he failed to mention the fact that I was suspended for a day! My parents told me when I got home and I was so immensely depressed. I had never felt so awful in my life and I have gone through a lot of ****. When suspended, I texted her and asked how she could do that to me. She showed no indication that she was upset with my texts or that she wanted me to stop texting her, yet she went to the principal (AGAIN) saying I was cyberbullying. This was the girl who I used to tell EVERYTHING to. It all happened so fast.

Now it has been over a month. I haven't talked to her since and I can't even look at her. Hearing her name is enough to cause me to flashback. And when I say flashback, I mean I relive it. I am there again. I can remember everything she said. I hear her voice in my head. I avoid ANYTHING that reminds me of her. Especially the places me and her went to together. I don't let my friends even say her name around me because it's just too much. I still cry a lot over it and I see her in my sleep now. Because of her, I don't trust anyone anymore.

Is this trauma? Can that be considered a traumatic event? I really don't know what it is. I do know that it is not normal but no one will take it seriously. It's just that I seriously am experiencing almost all of the symptoms of PTSD, but I know what I went through was nowhere near that severe. So, what is wrong with me??

--Nadia

Severity of the situation depends on how much someone values / is attached to something. What you experienced definitely can leave serious marks.
Start with your psyche as the main focus of the problem and try to know yourself. This may sound cryptic, and it really is. Psyche is cryptic and you just have to get inside the problem. Everyone here will also recommend you get some kind of therapy, support or anyone willing to talk to...

I'm sorry you went through that difficult situation. Yes, I would consider it traumatic for you. Why did your friend think you'd throw yourself off a cliff or be violent with her? Do you have a diagnosis? Her response just seems extreme to me. Yes, I would recommend talking this over with someone so you don't bottle it up inside. Best wishes.

My friend new at the time that I had been slightly suicidal. She knew I wouldn't act on it though. And she overreacted and caused all of this because she's an attention *****.

That does seem traumatic for you and I hope you are able to settle and finding some healing! But I hope you can also see how it might have been traumatic for your friend. Whether she is right or wrong, she clearly perceives that you are a danger to yourself and others. Honestly, I can understand why she went to the principal and I doubt her intentions were malicious in doing so. Sometimes we need to be called out on our issues in order for us to recognize that we have them. Even though this is a rough situation, I also see it as an opportunity to address some issues that you will be better off overcoming (like this propensity toward suicide/violence). While you may know you would never act out on those things, others around you may not. Trust is such a fragile thing; it's hard to build back up again. But I hope you will find that each individual person has a unique role in your life, and sometimes trust is the best option when it comes to healing and being a happy and healthy person. Sometimes, being exposed for something that makes us vulnerable and self conscious is a very traumatic experience - especially when it's someone we care about and trust who brings it about. I think it might help you to look at the situation objectively, try not to be defensive, and see what lesson there is to be learned.

You don't get to do that. You do NOT get to do that. Don't try to justify her actions. This girl wrecked my life. SHE WRECKED MY FREAKING LIFE. She knew I was not dangerous. You don't have the slightest clue of how much this hurts me and f***ed me up inside. It is all her fault. You don't know how damaging it is to know that someone who I considered my best friend thought I was capable of murder. I came her for support. Not to have you defend the girl who made me want to die. Not for you to try to make what she did sound okay. Not for you to push the blame of the situation onto me!!!

I'm sorry that that is how you interpreted what I said, I really am. It is not my intention to cause you pain or inflict blame. I just think that in order for us to heal from the things that happen to us, we also have to be honest with ourselves about our role in what happened. It doesn't mean it's your fault, but we all have growing to do. Anger towards other people may be justified, but it is only going to cause you pain in the long run. When something bad happens to me, I can't change what happened or what the other person thinks or feels, but I can work on myself, and that gives me a sense of control and strength. You are, at your core, a beautiful and amazing and strong person trying to figure out your way through the world. We all make mistakes, just like your friend did. At any rate, I apologize. If I had realized it would cause you harm I would not have said anything it at all. That was reckless on my part, and I am sorry. Wishing you healing and love. <3

I am so sorry for lashing out at you. You're right. I should be looking at this from all sides. I overreacted and got upset because I'm just really emotional and traumatized about this. Thank you for your advice. I am taking it to heart.

nadia, i don't think treevoice was trying to blame you they were just trying to give you insight into why you and how you could handle this problem. You are sensitive right now but after a few days the anger might subside and you can understand better why this person did this to you. Maybe they are a bit scared of you now that you seemed to have threatened them although you did not think it was that important and it took you off guard. If they are a true friend they will understand in the end and you could patch things up. I hope you feel ok and if not now then when the time is right in your heart. It has been broken.