so, i have schizophrenia and the voices keep telling me awful, scary things

Possible trigger:

that my rapist is going to find me, that he's going to rape me again and they keep calling me a "*****" and a "slut" and its torture

i don't feel like i can trust my therapist yet (she's a new therapist i started seeing about two months ago)

i dont know if these are PTSD symptoms or schizophrenia symptoms and i dont know if ishould go to my pdoc about it because i dont want more meds

this has been going on for days now, the voices won't shut up about

Possible trigger:

my rapist coming to find me so he can rape me again

its just so scary, sometimes i think about burning down my house so i can move faster and get away from him

i dont know what to do

((((((((Kori Anders)))))))). I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. It could be a combination of schizophrenia and PTSD. I WOULD talk to your pdoc. Maybe your current Meds aren't working? How long have the voices been telling you this stuff? Don't burn your house down. That would be a hazard and could kill someone or you. does your new T seem nice even though she is new? You deserve kind words and to be healthy. does anything seem to help you feel better?

this has been going on for a few days now, and each day it is getting worse and worse my new T is nice, but i just dont feel like i can trust her yet... i'm too nervous to say anything to her about it
i've tried what feels like everything to get them to stop, i've tried singing, i've tried listening to headphones, i've tried ignoring them, i've tried talking to them... it doesn't feel like anything is helping

Hi Kori, do you talk to anyone else in your life like your parents or a friend? I hope you keep posting here. It says "banned" under your name, and I'm not sure why.

i dont think i want to share this with my parents, they are very supportive of me, but they don't like hearing about it, so i dont like to talk to them about it



i am not actually "banned" i just put that under my name because i was upset

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Please, please, please see your pdoc to see if you can get some relief. You are not alone. I experienced this 30 years ago and it's a topic off limits to my therapist. It's difficult to work through and you sound like you're really struggling. I understand why you wouldn't talk to your therapist about it. It does get better. Sending big hugs.

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Quick question - do the voices sound like anyone you know or have known, or even possibly like your rapist? Or are they unique and set apart from anyone else?

I have dealt both with auditory hallucinations and PTSD in my life. I do not have schizophrenia, but I used to determine some parts of my PTSD were PTSD or auditory hallucinations by determining what type of voices I was hearing. Perhaps that can help you.

I'm not that familiar with schizophrenia and why voices manifest, but I was watching a TED talk, and the woman giving the talk was schizophrenic. She said that her voices manifested when there was a change in her life, or she was going through something difficult, or she just needed to stop and examine how she could be healthier. It was like they were telling her something was off with her. Still think you should talk to someone Kori, like your pdoc or even a hotline counselor.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Please, please, please see your pdoc to see if you can get some relief. You are not alone. I experienced this 30 years ago and it's a topic off limits to my therapist. It's difficult to work through and you sound like you're really struggling. I understand why you wouldn't talk to your therapist about it. It does get better. Sending big hugs.

i saw my pdoc today and i told him about what the voices were telling me and he increased one of my APs
i am already on the max dose of one so he increased the dose of the other

thanks for your hugs, i appreciate it

Originally Posted by Crypts_Of_The_Mind

Quick question - do the voices sound like anyone you know or have known, or even possibly like your rapist? Or are they unique and set apart from anyone else?

I have dealt both with auditory hallucinations and PTSD in my life. I do not have schizophrenia, but I used to determine some parts of my PTSD were PTSD or auditory hallucinations by determining what type of voices I was hearing. Perhaps that can help you.

the voices i hear are a mixture of people i know/knew and complete strangers, but lately i've been hearing either my rapist's voice or complete strangers either way, they say things that no one has ever said to me before

Originally Posted by starrysky

I'm not that familiar with schizophrenia and why voices manifest, but I was watching a TED talk, and the woman giving the talk was schizophrenic. She said that her voices manifested when there was a change in her life, or she was going through something difficult, or she just needed to stop and examine how she could be healthier. It was like they were telling her something was off with her. Still think you should talk to someone Kori, like your pdoc or even a hotline counselor.

thanks starrysky, i told my pdoc today what was going on so i hope that the increase in meds helps them get quieter at least!

[Crypts_Of_The_Mind]

Sounds like your PTSD is triggering your schizophrenia hallucinations. With PTSD you may not always remember what was said or exactly what happened - until your mind finally let's you see or hear it in the form of a hallucination triggered by a memory usually caused by some action, sound, or smell going on around you. The problem is, those memories and hallucinations can in turn trigger any other psychological problems you may deal with.

For instance, I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and borderline personality. I was raped 3 different times in my life and there was a "close fourth" that traumatized me just as much if not more as the actual rapes. That "close fourth" occurred while I was outside in a major thunderstorm. For many years after, any time I heard even the faintest rumble of thunder, I would turn white as a sheet, turn cold, and freeze in my tracks. My mind would go back to that day. I would see myself struggling to get away. Hear him laughing. Hear the thunder. See the lightning. Feel the rain hitting me as I ran ... and finally, feel all the cold fear. Then, I would get really anxious, sure he was there or someone else would come after me. Those things would trigger the psychosis I also have with my depression at times, and I would start hearing voices, laughing or telling me how awful I was. This in turn would cause me to sink into a depressive state.

So, in effect, my PTSD was triggering both my anxiety and depression, but I also needed to allow it to happen in order to find a way to heal. Through those hallucitory memories, I was able to peice things together to allow it to make enough sense to figure out how to cope with it.

The object is differentiating between the schizophrenic hallucinations and the hallucitory memories. Think of the hallucitory memories as your brain giving you snippets of your past. Like watching a movie in little bits and then walking away and coming back later. Try to put those snippets together without putting too much emphasis on the schizophrenic hallucinations. It may help you find a resolution so you won't keep having mixed hallucinations. That's what I did anyway. I hope it can help.