[Fuzzybear]

How can I stop blaming myself for all the vile things the abusers said and did to me. How can I stop blaming myself for my own "parents" telling me how worthless I am and throwing me out with the trash and for all those jerks who agreed with them. How can I stop blaming myself because of the "people" who used me and then wiped their feet on me and tossed me out like a chew toy. How can I stop hating myself and blaming myself enough to live another year on this planet. I don't want to be here. I'm beyond tired of the sadness, hypocrisy, abuse and **** in this world.

People don't like me. I'm "useless" I've been told this a million times. I want to live with the bears

[dark cloud]

I hope you are still here.
I told you what works sometimes for me.
I try to be more logical than emotional in these moments.
Sure this is not your fault if those people you said were not .
And first of all dont press yourself to not blame yourself , if you do you it make it worse so its okay to feel quilty .
When you are sad you have to express somehow this sadness even if you are alone , even if you cry outdoors .
And really you are not worthless , this is something another people said to you not you.

[Sunflower123]

Fuzzy...I like and care about you. You aren't useless. Your kind posts always warm my heart. I haven't seen you around for a few days and was worried and missed you. I don't have any advice for how you are feeling. Just know so many people care about you and want you around. I'm here anytime you want to talk. Sending big hugs.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Fuzzy

How not to blame yourself and or believe all that "erroneous stuff" thrown at you............well I'm betting that you know some of the logical stuff but I know it has to be real hard to invest in/have faith in it when some of the ingrained thoughts come pushing though, right??

Still..........perhaps if you can look at/believe it more from a more "outside" perspective............like if someone came to you pretty similar to you as a child and as an adult and related the same experiences, would you find reasons to blame them for their experiences??!! I know you wouldn't Fuzzy!!
And I know you'd put blame exactly where it belonged.............with the abusers!!
And have you heard of experiences and wondered........how the **** did they deserve to be parents!!! Maybe??!!
And someone being abused has to have deserved it, asked for it in some way, "pushed the abusers buttons"...........we know that isn't right, don't we??!!! Plus abuse is never right regardless!!!
But do real good/decent/worthy people get abused.........get called worthless etc........really sad..........but we know they do..........absolutely!!!
Do some of those people have the "misfortune" to have lots of abusers in/come into their lives...........absolutely!!!
And how valid are the abusers words and opinions going to be?? Well obviously if someone feels the need to/has to intimidate/humiliate/put down/degrade/denegrate/insult/abuse..........someone else, well they have to have some "problems"...........so doesn't that say that the abusers veiws opinions are "not necessarily something to be relied on".........not automatically valid?? Plus are they good, caring people?? Not!! So why should their veiws, whatever they are (!!) matter to you??!!
So maybe look a bit more at the outside perspective??

And...........actual evidence against their views...........???
You certainly know lots of people on here deeply value you.........and those qualities in you they/we value haven't come from nowhere..........so many of those qualities are there despite the abuse not because of it.
And maybe it could help to reflect back on some of those qualities?? As in, that you are kind, caring, considerate................
And those abusers comments do not deserve to hurt you.........perhaps try to keep your focus on the people who see the true you, who honour and cherish who you really are??

Alison

[Open Eyes]

Fuzzy, the only thing you are guilty of is what all of us struggle with. Most human beings WANT to trust. This is what makes us all so malleable and this is part of how we are designed as human beings where from the time we are born we need to "trust" because we simply have no choice but to trust. We are ALL vulnerable and can be hurt.

[Open Eyes]

How can I stop blaming myself because of the "people" who used me and then wiped their feet on me and tossed me out like a chew toy

Fuzzy, human beings in general "use". This is primate behavior which is what humans are, intelligent yes, but still primates. It could very well be that you have a kind heart and that can get you in trouble in that you may believe you will be loved and appreciated for just that when in reality what typically happens is that kind people can very well get "used" and tossed when the other person has gotten whatever they wanted from the kind person.

[Rohag]

I don't know how you can stop blaming yourself.
I don't know how to stop blaming myself; my emotions won't listen to "reason".

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I want to live with the bears

The bears' gain is the humans' loss.

((((((( Fuzzybear! )))))))

[Guiness187055]

You are far from useless I always smile when I see your hula bear.

[Shazerac]

I hear you. All I can say is it's all lies damned lies! All that kaka they put in your head. I have a similar internal dialogue about what a worthless, selfish, dispicable, good for nothing, low down dirty snake in the grass I am. I'm amazed that I don't scream when I look in the mirror. Sometimes I almost do. There are days when I literally have to have an argument with myself and insist that I stop telling myself horrendous things.