Pseudoseizures...

AKA psychogenic non-epileptic seizures.

I had my first seizure at work in October 2016. I woke up to paramedics around me and nervous coworkers. I spent a couple days in the hospital and had a battery of tests that showed nothing. Well, nothing to indicate seizures, I do have a spot of atrophy or damaged brain or something from long ago and far away events which is interesting.

These seizures kept happening maybe once a month, then once every few weeks, then by June/July one at least every week. I banged my head during at least half of them, needed sutures in my forehead once.

In August I was admitted to the seizure observation unit. They hooked up 27 electrodes to my head and pointed a video camera at me in my room. It took a few days for me to have a seizure for them, but finally I did.

The EEG showed no abnormal activity whatsoever. So the diagnosis; psychogenic non-epileptic seizures. They explained that people who experience these often have a history of trauma (me!!)

I wish it was true epilepsy, that can be treated and life goes on. This though? They can't even say exactly it is that I need to change about my behavior or coping strategies or anything to make them stop. It's so vague.

I feel like this is yet another way that my brain is working to sabotage me. My manipulative, atypical brain.

I feel like I might never be able to do so many things if I can't get this under control. Travel Europe, have/raise kids, have different careers.

I dunno.

I thought I knew what my different mental illnesses meant for my life, but now new stuff. What more will I loose??

I guess I'm really into a self pity spiral right now, but seriously, why me??

Why always me??

What the hell?

I'm sorry that you have to deal with seizures. Have you been on this site: Psychological Non Epileptic Seizures ? There might be some treatment ideas on there.

I hope they get less frequent and go away altogether.

Have you been able to determine any kind of triggers for these episodes? Do they always happen a work? Or a wide variety of places?

No, no triggers that I can see and I've wracked my brain trying. They've happened at home, work, walking on the street, once in a DBT group meeting. Just anywhere. Any time.

That has to be frightening, not knowing when they are going to happen. I briefly looked at that site that Yzen posted a link to the other morning. It looks like it has some really good information.

This really raised my interest because my daughter had an episode a few months ago that could have been something like this. We don't know for sure. The ER called it a panic attack, but said it was probably related to her meds, but that was also ruled out after the fact. It hasn't happened again so far.

I hope you find some answers and more importantly, some relief.

Thank you for posting the link to this site. It was definitely a light bulb moment for me.
I experienced non-epileptic seizures when I was a teenager and because Epilepsy wasn't diagnosed, it was treated as 'hysterical'; instead of receiving help for this problem, I was made to feel as though it was something I could control or stop happening at will. Not understanding what was happening or why and being blamed for it was traumatising in itself.
Thankfully I no longer have them, but the effects of how I was treated are still with me to this day.