[Maven]

I guess this is where this should be posted. If not, ADMINS, sorry, and please move it.

I know we all have things we wish we could do, but most people have little to no problem accepting certain inabilities. I have abilities in thrilled to have, except my damned OCD and panic disorder and my weakness against them have kept those dreams from me. But one thing I don't have the ability to do is sing. Many people can blow it off, but I often get very depressed about it. I keep trying, but I can't find the ability, which I've read everybody has, but not everybody knows how to use their voice, and not everyone can sing fantastic.

Whatever it is, are there Inabilities you get depressed about?

[Sunflower123]

I get down that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to be an outgoing extrovert. I feel my life would be easier.

[Travelinglady]

I have a bad memory now, which makes me sad.

[RainyDay107]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I get down that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to be an outgoing extrovert. I feel my life would be easier.

I'm an introvert, too! I don't think there's anything wrong with introverts.

To stay on-topic, I would be prefer to not be disabled. I worked hard in law school and it was expensive. I enjoyed being a lawyer but my bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders and chronic pain led to my being disabled. My career, my entire existence changed completely.

It's odd because intellectually, I can still legally analyze, etc. BUT, the working environment, the deadlines, the intense trials...the STRESS is disabling. It completely mentally destabilizes me, very severely. I don't think I can handle working any job, unfortunately, since bipolar and anxiety developed. I struggle just to even leave the house.

I do the best I can. I don't get depressed over it, however. I accept it and find happiness in my life in other ways.

[shezbut]

Yes!

There are more significant inablities than others, like I *really struggle* forming and retrieving memories. That creates all sorts of difficulties for me, but I won't bore anyone with a description.

I wish that I could be at least a little more outgoing as well. I am very introverted. I wish that I could write like I used to. *sigh*

[Maven]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I get down that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to be an outgoing extrovert. I feel my life would be easier.

Have you tried reading self-help books on self-esteem and assertiveness? I've found them very helpful. Believe it or not, I've also found joke books and humor books (love Erma Bombeck!) improve wit.

[Maven]

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

I have a bad memory now, which makes me sad.

I need to get back to practicing these lessons, but I highly recommend Super Memory - Super Student: How to Raise Your Grades in 30 Days

by Harry Loraine (sorry, I cut and paste, and I don't know why it pasted large and in bold). Just the first couple of chapters will do wonders if you practice them.

[eskielover]

There are so many things I can do & have done that the few things i cant to are modyly insignificant.99

[Quarter life]

I do have abilities that I have nurtured over the years...but recently due to physical illness my body has betrayed me, and I now find it difficult to utilise these skills. I now realise that our most important asset is good health.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Maven

Have you tried reading self-help books on self-esteem and assertiveness? I've found them very helpful. Believe it or not, I've also found joke books and humor books (love Erma Bombeck!) improve wit.

That's exactly what I need thank you!!! I will look into that.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by glamslam

I'm an introvert, too! I don't think there's anything wrong with introverts.

To stay on-topic, I would be prefer to not be disabled. I worked hard in law school and it was expensive. I enjoyed being a lawyer but my bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders and chronic pain led to my being disabled. My career, my entire existence changed completely.

It's odd because intellectually, I can still legally analyze, etc. BUT, the working environment, the deadlines, the intense trials...the STRESS is disabling. It completely mentally destabilizes me, very severely. I don't think I can handle working any job, unfortunately, since bipolar and anxiety developed. I struggle just to even leave the house.

I do the best I can. I don't get depressed over it, however. I accept it and find happiness in my life in other ways.

I so empathize with you. I worked hard to get my CPA license. At the time you had to get your masters so I got my MBA to get my CPA. I enjoyed it immensely but had to quit for many of the reasons you listed. It was a big loss to me at the time. ((((Hugs)))).

[reb569]

Originally Posted by glamslam

I'm an introvert, too! I don't think there's anything wrong with introverts.

To stay on-topic, I would be prefer to not be disabled. I worked hard in law school and it was expensive. I enjoyed being a lawyer but my bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders and chronic pain led to my being disabled. My career, my entire existence changed completely.

It's odd because intellectually, I can still legally analyze, etc. BUT, the working environment, the deadlines, the intense trials...the STRESS is disabling. It completely mentally destabilizes me, very severely. I don't think I can handle working any job, unfortunately, since bipolar and anxiety developed. I struggle just to even leave the house.

I do the best I can. I don't get depressed over it, however. I accept it and find happiness in my life in other ways.

Is it possible for you to work in a legal area that doesn't require the harsh deadlines (and maybe you do this already)? Maybe a small practice with limited hours?

[reb569]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I so empathize with you. I worked hard to get my CPA license. At the time you had to get your masters so I got my MBA to get my CPA. I enjoyed it immensely but had to quit for many of the reasons you listed. It was a big loss to me at the time. ((((Hugs)))).

I'm going to throw out a similar comment to the one just prior to this. Is there a way that you can use your skills in a less stressful and demanding way?

[reb569]

I have found that despite several attempts, I am unable to learn JavaScript to the level where I can use it in my Web Development work. I wish I had done this earlier in life because I think I may have been more successful at it then.

I'm giving it another try this winter. I work on a few seasonal websites throughout the spring and summer, so winter is my time to start new projects and learn new things. This is my side work. At work, I now work our company website most of the time, but JavaScript, although it would be helpful, isn't a direct requirement for my current job.

I do get depressed when I make another attempt and fail.

I'm also very introverted naturally, but CPTSD, Anxiety and Depression have made that worse over the last couple years. I'm very self isolating now, beyond just being an introvert.

[Maven]

Reb569, good luck with learning Javascript. I've attempted it and a few languages. I get so far, then I can't seem to grasp it. Have you tried W3Schools.com? I think that's the name of the site... My OCD and current situation have kept me from using my computer for a couple of years, so I've forgotten some stuff. It's free and can help you learn the basics. Part of my problem is, I don't know what I'd "create" with it, since there are plenty of free programs already out there that do what I need then to do. On the one hand, it would be great to be able to write code, but on the other, it seems a waste of time if there are already good programs out there. Of course, if you want something advanced, that will probably cost money, in which case, knowing code will be ideal. Anyway, best wishes this time around!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by reb569

I'm going to throw out a similar comment to the one just prior to this. Is there a way that you can use your skills in a less stressful and demanding way?

That's a good question. I think my biggest barrier is my esteem right now. I kind of lost my self esteem when I became ill and it's eroded further over the years. I really need to look into ways to improve my esteem and use my skills. Thank you.

I wish I could work. Life would be so much better and not just financially. I get embarrassed and frustrated which leads to feeling crap about myself and some serious depression.

[Turtle_Rider]

Yeah, but indirectly. I'm sad with people reaction and how they treat me, not because I have it. Sometimes I do a little bit sad, because I could live an easier life if I can function normally. It is really rare however.

[Maven]

Well, I'm really wondering if people have dreams (big or small, but like singing, dancing, art of any kind, music, or anything like that) they can't (or feel like they can't) because they don't have the talent, or don't have the ability to overcome their disorders and/physical disabilities.

[lotusblossom19]

Only all the time. I lack competence in many areas. Things that come so naturally to other people require so much effort for me to get even halfway right. I have difficulties expressing myself. Really not great at remaining calm under pressure. I'm surprised I was ever able to land a job at all. I can't see myself overcoming the mental health issues I have.

[Maven]

Originally Posted by lotusblossom19

Only all the time. I lack competence in many areas. Things that come so naturally to other people require so much effort for me to get even halfway right. I have difficulties expressing myself. Really not great at remaining calm under pressure. I'm surprised I was ever able to land a job at all. I can't see myself overcoming the mental health issues I have.

Yes, I can relate to that. I feel like some people pick up skills so easily, while I struggle. I'm sorry you feel this way, too.

I can't let my music out, because whenever I have the chance to work on it, I don't feel like it anymore.

[Maven]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

I can't let my music out, because whenever I have the chance to work on it, I don't feel like it anymore.

Yes, I understand that. I'm the same way about my interests.

Originally Posted by Maven

I guess this is where this should be posted. If not, ADMINS, sorry, and please move it.

I know we all have things we wish we could do, but most people have little to no problem accepting certain inabilities. I have abilities in thrilled to have, except my damned OCD and panic disorder and my weakness against them have kept those dreams from me. But one thing I don't have the ability to do is sing. Many people can blow it off, but I often get very depressed about it. I keep trying, but I can't find the ability, which I've read everybody has, but not everybody knows how to use their voice, and not everyone can sing fantastic.

Whatever it is, are there Inabilities you get depressed about?

Um. Yeah. I guess I blow off inabilities - I sound like a Moose In Rut if I try to sing - I get pissed off about my disabilities.

I’ve gone through the whole whine about not having legs and crap but I’m fine with that until I attempt something stupid and fall from my chair. Dropping shite pisses me - I don’t have a full lap so going from kitchen to table with a plate of food can, sometimes, mean that it all ends up on the floor. I accept that my movement is limited, that my transportation is limited, that there is no workable position that allows me to wash dishes; I accept the big things. I have paid and unpaid helpers.

It is the god-damned little things that chap my arse.

Since I have been on my own, my disabilities have (not sure how to say this) grown worse. Only in the past 9-10 months have I realised that I needed to take some action lest I’m sent to a FINAL nursing home. So, I started becoming more aware of, f**k, everything. The position of my plate, questioning the bizarre aftermaths of what cameras proved to be sleepwalking, on and on.

I f**kin’ hate Clint Eastwood but I did see one of his ‘Dirty Harry’ movies while on a date in high school (I was an elitist film snob at that time, arguing in favor of the auteur and Andrew Sarris and blasting Pauline Kael’s gross ignorance of the auteur... unless one or the other had a differing opinion than mine) but three quotes from that film have become as iconic as Eastwood, himself: the first, “A man’s got to know his limitations,” followed by, “Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot,” and, to end, (I had to resort to Google to get this one right) ”This is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world. It can blow your head clean off. You've got to ask yourself one question, Do I feel lucky?”

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned! I’ve used variations of the last to intimidate predators and those who pose a threat to my life or a friends’. I don’t carry a .44 magnum, though.

Back to my point (high, I am easily strayed!)... I am attempting to become friends with my limitations. I must. Or it’s back to... you know. I consider my plate, I make certain that it’s positioned well and that I can get it safely to the dining table. I have to consider every little detail before I move.

And I have to stop blowing off physical oddities.

To end. Inabilities describe what we lack. We may wish for, even become obsessed with, particular inabilities. But there’s something there not quite right, you know. Calligraphy. Although most of my writing has been worked out by keystrokes, I once had an ‘ability’ to write quick and sloppy block letters. I took a calligraphy class, once, in order to be able to write using a very specific historical script. Now, I had failed the ‘writing’ classes in grammar school (an attempt to train every student in the art of cursive writing) a full four years in a row. I left the calligraphy class after the first class. I lack the ability to write well (with the toot of an off-stage horn signaling the arrival of another double entendre, Rhonda).

My hope is that you’ll come to love your inabilities as much as you love the abilities of others. Lana Del Rey’s Lust for Life is amazing, but singing isn’t your talent. Isn’t your craft (while in my craft or sullen art I’m only fishing).

Inability. Enabling. Disability.

I need wheat flakes. Bye.

Originally Posted by glamslam

I'm an introvert, too! I don't think there's anything wrong with introverts.

To stay on-topic, I would be prefer to not be disabled. I worked hard in law school and it was expensive. I enjoyed being a lawyer but my bipolar disorder, anxiety disorders and chronic pain led to my being disabled. My career, my entire existence changed completely.

It's odd because intellectually, I can still legally analyze, etc. BUT, the working environment, the deadlines, the intense trials...the STRESS is disabling. It completely mentally destabilizes me, very severely. I don't think I can handle working any job, unfortunately, since bipolar and anxiety developed. I struggle just to even leave the house.

I do the best I can. I don't get depressed over it, however. I accept it and find happiness in my life in other ways.

You are my twin.

My biggest thrills come from parsing Constitutional law with injury, bankruptcy, &etc., attorneys. Oh, and arguing with my landlord’s ‘lawyer’ - she has the night-school degree but could never pass the bar. She’s an idiot.

I’ve a few more ‘problems’ than you (and, gosh, we’re here to add to our lists of diagnoses, right?) but, no, I could not work in any environment, now.

I question my ability to catch happiness. I’m fine, I am well. I appreciate old and new friends; differently. But chasing happiness? That would be as pointless as Chasing Amy.