[supdawg1985]

I wanted to open up about a psychological issue that has been ongoing for about a year now. At first, I thought I was going through a phase of some sort, and figured it would pass. Did not want to be melodramatic and I certainly am not an attention seeker, but at this point, it's probably best that I try and get some advice as I need to take some steps to recovery.

I don't know of a specific condition or complex I have, but it's been a struggle dealing with this.

In a nutshell: I have not been feeling quite "myself" for about a year now. What exactly does that mean? I suppose it's just not having my old, God given desires or mental clarity for certain things I once valued. It's not in all parts of life, but mostly concerning my social life. I am not unpleasant to be around or "depressed" per se, but my enjoyment factor isn't where it once was in keeping up with friends and family or in having genuine and pure-hearted romantic pursuits.

Maybe the best way to illustrate is that I have not had a desire to use Facebook all year, and check in with friends/family or people I've otherwise been interested in in the past. I used to like posting updates and staying connected, but now I do not have that desire or inclination.

Another reason I am avoiding social media, and this is probably more significant, is because I find myself going through a bit of an identity crisis as far as what I want in life from a social standpoint. I never get lonely and have not been motivated at all to meet friends or have any sort of romantic pursuit. Perhaps I am content with being isolated and not having serious friendships as I am plenty busy and ambitious with my businesses, but something is amiss. This is particularly so when it comes to dealing with romantic or sexual emotions.

About a year and a half ago I was rejected by a girl I was very fond of. It was very heartbreaking for me, as my feelings for her grew deep over time. Since then, I have seen my feelings for her wane which is understandable, but it was hard to accept. Now I am at the point where I don't feel like I know what I like in a girl anymore. I am unsure of what my "type" is, even though it seemed so painfully obvious when I was pursuing this girl. Now that I don't feel the same way, I can't even look at a picture of her as I feel "challenged" to feel a certain way that would reinforce my sense of attraction. Instead I am left with internal doubt. I cannot even construct the characteristics of what my ideal dream girl would look like. I have found myself sexualizing women more and more and this has just muddled my mind as I lack discernment about what I genuinely find attractive.

I guess this is a two pronged problem I am dealing with: I am not getting the same satisfaction and desires with social interactions and I find myself lost with where to go next, especially with any sort of romantic pursuits. I don't feel like I am properly expressing my current psychological state but perhaps some questions can let me better explain it.

[Shazerac]

Welcome to psych central

Perhaps you undergoing a normal life crisis of figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. Losing interest in Facebook is not necessarily a bad thing. I go through frequent periods of ignoring it.

Perhaps you would benefit from talking to a therapist or life coach. You could be mildly depressed or could benefit from learning some tools to navigate your life.

[Sunflower123]

Hello. Welcome to PC. I agree with Shazerac about the therapist and life coach.

[reb569]

Rejection is very hard to deal with. I've been there are few times myself and it can be hard to move on.

I agree with the previous posts. Try a therapist or life coach.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Hi. Best wishes. This definitely seems connected to the rejection.

[supdawg1985]

Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue

Hi. Best wishes. This definitely seems connected to the rejection.

Thanks for the responses. This is unprecedented for me so it's a struggle getting through it. I realize that there are ebbs and flows in life, and sometimes we evolve as human beings. But I can't help knowing that something is "off". I'm able to function well day to day and am thriving with my business, which is the constant in my life. I can always depend on some success and ambition every day I wake up in regards to my business. Apart from that, I just feel a bit lost as to what I want in life, particularly in respect to love/marriage/children.

I am 31, so I feel like it's a bit early for a mid-life crisis, and crisis might be too strong a word anyway. I agree, this is stemming from my rejection. I went from rejection to dejection to sort of apathetic and now I am left figuring myself out. Everything seemed so crystal clear at the time, now I am in a state of mind of questioning my self-identity...overthinking all the time to the point of inducing headaches. The best way I can illustrate it is : if I could have anything I want in life on a social level, I couldn't even answer. Given that, I have just contented myself with staying in neutral.

Maybe I should just embrace this chapter of my life? I certainly am staying productive.

[Teddy Bear]

Welcome to PC

Would finding a new you be helpful? Do you have new interests or desires? Do you feel a capacity for doing a little work to discover and nurture them? Perhaps think about what might be a potential hobby or pastime. What sort of social life peeks your interests?

I lost the person I once was and had to rebuild her from the ground up. I still grieve her but I have a new life now.

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Seems to me like your subconscious is holding you back, scared that you'll get hurt again.