My mom has terminal cancer...

Dear ones! I just got home from the entire day with my mother in her hospital room. Her doctor came in late last night after both my sister and I were gone and told her the prognosis of 3 to 6 months. I had told her what he said about her condition but not the amount of time she has left. She said she was very depressed after that, but today she was actually in very good spirits, I thought, considering

I am really overwhelmed by the outpouring of responses and kind words from all of you. I am also grateful for the advice and prior experience many of you have shared. It means so much to me.

The body becomes so ravaged with age and illness, and as Apostle Paul says, we shall have "new bodies" when we pass on. I shared this with Mom today. We must all face this, but it doesn't have to be a sad thing, other than the physical suffering.

I am enjoying the time with my mother, and she is gravitating toward me also, happy to have me there with her.

Thanks to all of you,
Love,
Patty

Patty that is wonderful hon. I wish my mom had done that with me but she was not that kind of person. say all the things you want to say to her. yes it will ravage her body and it is heartbreaking to watch. just know you are not alone here. I know exactly how it feels. if you ever need a shoulder to lean on or cry on I am here. if you want to ask me questions please feel free. (((hugs)))

Your family will be in my prayers........wishing you the best, Patty.

{{{{{{{Patty and mom}}}}}}}}

Mary Alice

I'm so sorry Patty. (*HUGS*). You're in my thoughts.

{{{Seeker}}} Glad your mom might be "easier" than you first thought. Hope you get some rest for yourself and comfort overall. You and your family are in my prayers.

im so very sorry patty.

Seeker,I'm so sorry to hear this.I have been through this with a close relative of mine not too long ago,although a different form of cancer.As the others have said,the hospice are a very good source of support.Please try to take care of you whilst taking care of your mom too.I'm glad that you are are able to be with your mom-this is very precious time for you both.I'm sure you mom will be so glad to have you by her side.

I'll be thinking of you

Impala.x

((( seeker ))) thinking of you at this moment.

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I am enjoying the time with my mother, and she is gravitating toward me also, happy to have me there with her.


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.. what could be better, at any stage of one's life! Enjoy your time together, say all the things you want to say to your mom; you've been given the time to say them. .

i'm so sorry patty......

Patty,
I'm so sorry to hear of your mom's illness. I hope that she does not have to suffer terribly. I've been through the process you are beginning. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
Take gentle care,
Okie

Seeker >>. This is a time of hey Mom can we talk ? All the good that has been ,,,,,,,,,Are you up to some (( Favorite food or dessert )) May I make It for you ? And May I stay and be here ..No tears my Dear but the brush of your hand on my cheek and holding of hands. Lightly squeezing and whispers to my ear I ((( Love ))) you ....Hospice is a great help as Sky said ... And You have the people you know here P E A C E

((((((((((((((((((((( seeker ))))))))))))))))))))))

I went through this with dad two years ago.

I left it "all" up to him...the talks, his needs, etc. I did ask about needs, but left the special talks up to him. He guided me in what he wanted or needed. It was very painful, but I'm blessed to have had that time.

You're both in my thoughts and prayers. I'm so sorry for your pain.

KD

Dear PC family,
Thanks to all of you for your kind words. I can see from your posts that many of you have been thru similar situations.
I spent today again at the hospital with Mom and helped her wash her hair and went to the drug store for some things she needed.
I feel a healing thing going on between us (particularly inside of me) and our time together is precious.
Love
Patty

Hi Seeker!!!
Thank you for sharing your news with me. I am glad that your mom and you are communicating so well. I wish I'd had that with my mom, but it is really water under the bridge now, as they say.
Everytime I think about this situation, it reminds me of a song that Laura Branigan and Patty Loveless recorded, about the mother who was dying and the daughter who sought comfort. The line that always gets me is the chorus
" how can I help you say good-bye....." and it always makes me cry. It's so beautifully done by Laura, that it makes you want to climb up in her lap and let her love you. It's on her greatest hits album and you should take a listen.
Anyway, it may sound morbid, but when you actually listen to it's meaning, it turns comforting to the one who has the mother to do it.

I hope you enjoy the time with her and if she really wants to know the prognosis, let her. It's not like she doesn't already. You'd be surprised what the dying tell us!!! We just have to listen.

Thank you, Drummergirl, for sharing.
I will look for that song.
Yes, my mother was abusive to me when I was growing up, but now I see the young girl who grew up in a coal camp, abused herself, and grew up afraid of most everything.
Today, on the phone, while I was at work, I called her and told her what a great and admirable example of courage she is setting for all of us.
I do now tell her I love her.
Love
Patty

I am so glad for you that this is healing for you. Lord how I wish I had had that with my mom. my love to you hon.

Patty, thinking of you and your mom and admiring the courage that both of you have. She's so lucky to have you!

Hi Seeker:
I'm glad that you are going to look up that song...bear in mind that the Patty Loveless thing has that southern twang
with it. Somehow it takes the feeling out of the song, but the video is good to watch. Try youtube.com and watch the video. It's very heart jerking. It will make you cry. I like the video, tho. Watch Martina McBride's Concrete Angels......oh does that pull the heart strings around. Ooooh.....................
Laura didn't make a video from that song, but I can imagine
what it would have been like.
Anyway, you are off to a good start.....holding onto the past is good for only one thing....to keep us sick and remind us how weak and helpless we were all those years ago. I tell myself now that holding on is a way of preserving her memory........and keeping some part of her alive. I guess that's what I'm doing now? I pray that I find peace some day
and can finally put the past BEHIND me. But what if that doesn't happen? We have to go on, and leaning on each other can help.

Drummergirl...
I love the Southern twang, and Patty Loveless as well. I even sang in a Bluegrass band while I was in college in KY!

Thank you for all the kind words of support.

Love
Patty

Hang there I am thinking and praying for you.

Anytime seeker!!! Have you been to the site yet? I went there yesterday and cried over the video. It's just so heart wrenching to watch. I think you'll really be comforted by it.
In time you will. I wish my mother had been like that for me
when I was growing up, but she worked to support four kids and a husband in the Navy. It must have driven her crazy., and I say that term loosely!!!
Enjoy your time with her and make sure you hug her everyday, and let the last thing she hears from your lips be
" I love you" mom. It will remain sweet on your lips that way
after she's gone and you're healing. Don't rush thru the process though, it will take it's own time to do. As they say,
roll with the flow...........I will be here if you need to chat. PM me if you like. I love talking to someone who's been through what I have, or I can help someone get through it.
If you'd like....there's a site called Bi-polar World that has a
suicide link to it where you can leave a message to the loved one you lost. My name is Del, and it's to my mother
Geraldine. Pls. feel free to read it and let me know what you think. Ok?
Feel better.
Take care.
drmr

Sending you and your Mom comforting thoughts!