Body attacking itself?

Hi everyone,

I posted this in the somatic (sp?) forum a week ago but had no response on there so am going to post in this forum as it is more generic and get a greater response as I am interested to see if anyone else has gone through the same thing. I believe this disorder has routes in OCD but has also manifested itself into other mental health areas.

A little history: Since my late teens/early twenties I have had a disorder whereby if I felt contaminated or dirty then the area I felt affected on my body would hurt or become irritated. This lasted until either I removed the clothing I was wearing, washed the skin etc. Since I have got older (I am now 34) the symptoms have gotten worse. I have also suffered from OCD, anxiety and depression over the last 15years. In my childhood/early adolescence I had a fear of germs. Since 2010 I have been on anti-depressants. Citalopram up to last year and now Sertaline where I am building up the dose.

The symptoms of this disorder now have become a lot longer lasting such as a few weeks or a month. I had an anxiety/OCD episode last November where I experienced a distressing irritation in my feet for a few weeks which was maddening.

I currently work with children in a Nursery and a few weeks ago an unruly child spat at me in the face. At first i thought I could get past it but then I developed an irrational fear that I have caught something such as HIV or other viruses. I know in myself that the likelihood is non-existent but my OCD is very powerful and the irritation in my feet returned and also I felt pain behind my eyes. The last few weeks my eyes have been quite sore and sensitive. I am not sure whether this is due to the disorder or the sun being out in Britain for a change! Also the pain and irritation moved to other ares in my body which was extremely distressing.

I started to feel a lot more positive after I returned from a family holiday last Bank Holiday Monday and because the weather was better over the the UK then Tenerife I decided to go to the local pub (through a park) for a few before going back to work the next day. I lost a set of keys that evening. My OCD and depression came back and I gave myself a psychological roasting for it almost to the point of ending it all which would be a mercy.

I honestly feel like I need sectioning and seeing a psychiatrist over this condition that I have had for the last 15 years at least. I have seen people in the past but never helped long term.

Thank you to anyone who replies to this with their own experiences or guidance. It would be very much appreciated.

I'm sorry you are struggling with all of this. I'm afraid I would have nothing to offer of any consequence. But I wanted to at least let you know I read your post & I wish you well...

I also read your post and feel you would benefit from a therapist and/or a psychiatrist. My sincere sympathy to you. I am sorry you live with this.

Hello, It's good to meet you. Who is prescribing your medication? Is it not a psychiatrist? Also, can you please explain what "sectioning" means?

The struggle you're having sounds very difficult. Horrible, really. Somatic disorders are extremely real; in fact, I'm not at all sure that the separation between mind and body should exist.

I have had a mild OCD since I was a child, but not in the form of the contamination anxiety. I can certainly understand your fears, though.

I definitely have always had physical reactions to stress. Always, since I was a small child. Stress causes me to feel extreme fatigue, overheated and chills, migraine headaches, and now I have developed a miserable condition, eczema. The moment I feel the stress rise, certain patches of my skin become flaming red, mercilessly itches, burns and stings.


I have learned to spend a lot of time alone so I can carefully care for myself and prevent myself from becoming truly sick, such as throwing up or so exhausted I cannot drive.

You are not alone with your symptoms. I think it would be excellent to speak with a psychiatrist. Hopefully, you do not have to keep suffering with the mind-body issues.

Hello all, thank you for your kind responses. At the current time my GP is prescribing my medication. I was on Citalopram for several years and am now on an increased dose of Sertraline. Haven't seen a Psychiatrist for a couple of years now. The last one tried to get me to understand the process behind my thoughts of OCD. All it did however was literally make me understand but hasn't cured it as the physical manifestations of the stress are still there.

Sounds like an irresponsible pdoc. My suggestion is that you find one who truly helps you. Please keep us posted.

Talk therapy doesn't work for OCD. Behavioral therapy does. The therapist needs to go with you for your session, to triggering situations, which includes things you fear, like germs. You need to stay in the situation with the support of the therapist who cannot talk like convince you it is safe (contraproductive), but can tell you things like they know it is hard but you can do it.

For every situation you win control over, your life will be bigger and less stressful. Talk therapy even if it is CBT is just bs, and does not help OCD. Therapists rather do CBT because then they can sit on their backs, their favorite pastime.

Thanks, I will of course keep you updated on my progress. I think the CBT lady I saw was doing her best with the resources that she had but I think my needs were outside her scope of practice. Unfortunately mental health services over in the UK are not as well funded or understood or even valued as much as other parts of the world.

I read a heartbreaking story of a young lad today, only 17, who took his own life last year in my town. He was totally let down by the system which prescribes treatment based on a 'scoring' system. He needed much more help and simply didn't get it as the service is stretched and underfunded.

i also read your post. I am also on Citalropam and i like it very much. I know it has helped me greatly. I am not sure about what your other med is but i hope it helps you.

I don't think that CBT would help your situation at all.

What a pity about the young lad. So, so sad. Stupid "scoring system" - who can that really help?!?!

Exactly, every time I've been to the Doctors over the years they've just handed me a questionnaire to 'score' myself so that they can decide whether or not to treat me. Apparently only moderately wanting to harm myself is OK

Yeah. I remember when medical professionals started using that stupid scoring system. I thought, "Huh?" I mean, if you don't say 9 or 10, they dismiss you. It's gotten so I tell them straight out that I won't participate in the scoring thing. I figure if enough people refuse to do it they'll stop using scoring as a way to assess a patient.

Great idea. I hate that sheet—it takes so long to think about and fill out, and the pdoc just spends 1/2 a second glancing at it.

Hey everyone, just a little update. I am off sick at my job now (going to get a sick note) and have managed (somehow!) to get a GP appointment with my actual Dr on a Monday morning! Hopefully this is a start of something good.

Glad you are seeing a GP soon.

I remember doing a scoring questionnaire. According to my answers on that sheet I didn't have major issues but the truth was I was in trouble. A good psychiatrist will be able to diagnose you from interacting with you and not just relying on a questionnaire.

A good psychiatrist/Therapist will be able to connect with you and open up a dialogue. They will be able to understand you on a much deeper level than most. Ultimatly they should be able to give you insight into your condition.

Our mind and body is so interconnected that one can readily affect the other and vice versa. Could be somatic, could be something else but it if it is causing you pain then it deserves attention.

Please ask your gp for a referrral to a different psychiatrist/therapist for ongoing help. A gp may well be able to prescribe you medications but are they able to spend the time that you need with you.

Well everyone, been a whirlwind of a 24 hours thats for sure! Saw the GP this morning who was very sympathetic and kind. He has signed me off work for 4 weeks, helped me to switch my medication back to Citalopram and put me in touch with counselling services. I have also taken the brave decision to resign from my job which was getting me more stressed and anxious.

The main focal point of the next few weeks is my mental health and just taking a bit of time out for me. Luckily I live in the family home so money is not an issue so I can take a bit of time to find something more enjoyable to do in life.

I will keep everyone posted

That sounds excellent. Great! I hope this coming month is much kinder to you. Definitely keep us posted.

A good gp is worth their weight in gold. Glad that he was able to help with meds and time off.

Hoping that the counseling services are helpful to you.

Hey everyone, just wanted to post an update nearly 10 days on. Had an initial assessment with the Insight counselling service a few days ago and been put on a waiting list for a counselling appt. He said it would be a few weeks but I expected it tbh. The guy I spoke to seemed friendly enough but I kind of got the feeling he was more of a form filler or in-between guy before you saw the actual councillor. I was as honest and frank about my situation as I could possibly be.

I have also had a Rekki healing session from a therapist who is also my Dad's yoga instructor. She seemed very genuine, caring and helpful. I got good vibes from her. She seemed to tune into me very well and was very positive. During the session I felt very relaxed and peaceful. She even did some work on my feet to relieve the irritation sensation.
On the whole I felt better from it.

However, today the irritation in my feet returned for an unknown reason and has been quite distracting and bothersome. I have tried to massage my own feet to stop it but its an annoying occurrence. Some might say even maddening, hopefully it won't go that far!

My only concern once my months notice period has played out that family might push me towards getting back into employment as soon as possible. I know they mean well but I really don't know what I want to do and after my latest episode with mental health I really not sure I am ready.

Best wishes.

Thank you for the update. I hope it's not too long before you can see a counselor.


Is Reiki just one session, or will you do several sessions?

What about reflexology for your physical symptoms?

I could have more Rekki sessions if I wished to, it was quite a good session and I would definitely do it again. Hadn't considered Reflexology but certainly a path I could go down. The irritation in my feet will not go away! So frustrating.

Really struggling with my mental health today. Irritation in my feet is non stop and feel anxious and on edge a lot of the time. My nerves feel on fire, its maddening. Not sure what can help it.

Hi all, not sure if anyone is still reading my post but thought I would put an update on here. I am still experiencing irritation in my feet and other areas of my body in response to stress or anxiety. At least I now know in myself where this 'irritation' is coming from. I have been back to my Doctors since and I am currently still on 20mg Citalopram.

Unfortunately the counselling has not been a straightforward. I managed to get an appointment with a councillor within a few weeks of my telephone referral. I went to see the councillor for the first session a couple of weeks ago and I did not get a good feeling from her. She was pleasant enough but I did not gel with her. She was wanting me to basically stop labelling myself with issues such as OCD, anxiety, depression and 'throw them down the toilet'. She did not allow me room to explore the issues with her and ignored the paperwork I had brought with me to help me discuss my problems.

I decided to give her another go on Monday just gone but I felt it was very much a Doctors appt, she did not allow me to go in depth about my issues and ended the session after half an hour when I should have had the full hour. She hadn't a clue whether it was my 2nd or 3rd session. Also, very unprofessionally she had scoring sheets from previous clients on display and I could clearly see their names etc.

So all in all me and my parents are fuming about the service and have complained about it, demanding a new councillor and same amount of sessions (6). Guess you never know what your getting on the NHS!!

Hope you are all well

I'm so sorry. She sounds inept. Please continue to demand a new therapist.