[SlippingFast]

i think ive only posted a few times i keep to myself alot, but i do send my support to all who need it, im usually just not really able to reach out and say so.

however..having not posted much, i do read many posts in nearly all the forums and ive noticed (please correct me if im wrong, i hope i am) that new members dont seem to get as much of a reaction in post replies as some of the regular long-time members.

i could be wrong but it just seems to be that way a bit..

im very thankful for the support ive recieved, in no way do i mean to intrude here and tell people off, i just thought id mention this so that people might notice newbies a little more than they do..

best wishes

[AAAAA]

SlippingFast,

I'm sorry that you feel that way . I'm new here and every post that I've started has been met with prompt and supportive response. Not only advice but information as well. I don't know where Perna finds all of the links, but thank goodness she does.

I've noticed that you've posted mostly in self-injury. I tend to avoid that forum for personal reasons so I cannot say one way or another if that is the case in that forum, but in the others, all threads have response.

Is this an observation, or is there some information in particular that you're looking for? I really am sorry that you feel this way, I just do not agree.

Hey. I think that is probably right. I think that people do try and be friendly and welcoming but that (in boards as in life) one is more likely to find that others take an interest in us if we express an interest in them first...

I try (especially) to reply to people when I can see that those people put a lot of time and effort into replying to me. I mean I do read more widely and try and do more for people who I don't know very well. Sometimes time is limited, though. And in those times, I guess people tend to stick to their friends.

I think that the fastest way to be accepted as a member of a community here is to show that you are good at giving as well as receiving.

P.S If you would like to post welcoming messages to the newbies I'm sure they would appreciate it :-)

[Perna]

Hi, SlippingFast, glad you posted :-)

I often look and see if the new member has "come back", is actually becoming part of the board, has posted more than once and replied to posts, etc. before I get too involved. I'm shy in a sense that way; I feel silly when I reply to someone and they're not really there. I forget that other people read (and perhaps reply) so it's not just the original person's post anymore. I know when I join boards I often post but then decide I'm not all that interested in that board and don't go back. I guess I think of/treat others like I think of myself :-)

Thank you AAAAA :-)

[kebsfroggy]

Yes you might be right about new not receiving as many replies as established members. As a frog of little brain, I think it's human nature to gravitate towards the known versus unknown.

However it isn't just new members that get what you might consider the "cold shoulder". It happens also when an established member posts to a new forum for the first time. While many members post in more than one forum, some are more focused only posting is a specific area ie. anxiety.

Should an individual post in say depression when they have only posted in anxiety they might not receive the response they were expecting. It isn't that they are new to PC but new to that forum.

Also some forums are just much more "chatty" that others.

As resident expert of absolutely nothing, this frog of little brain will shut up now.

[ECHOES]

It might be that way. But then we are just getting to know new members . And the new members don't know us, so like any relationship it can take some time to get rolling.

Even the long-term members post and don't get support/replies at times.

Also, a lot of us primarily go to one or two forums so we know those who are there but not others who go to other forums.

It's something to notice; drawing conclusions about it though can be tricky because the truth is that we don't know the why behind it.

And, like you said in your post, sometimes we aren't able to reach out.

I hope you post more!

[selfy]

i believe ure right. i think its cuz i am more likely to post support to someone if i understand their problems. i dont wish to impose if i dont know all the facts. and i know if i tell someone one thing, and they tell me something that totally changes my view of the situation, id feel guilty for giving them bad advice.
also, most here have realised they cannot help everyone. most i believe are more inclined to help those they know well. as they can sympathise easier.
i do try to help newbies, but as u problynoticed, i dont get into forums much
that is just the way i work, and all newbies are welcome to PM me, or talk with me about problems in chat if they like.
take care all
self

[Raynaadi]

Welcome to PC!

It takes awhile for us to get to know people, so it helps when people post often. We also get so many newbies who make a post and get replies and then we never see them again. So maybe sometimes people don't take the time to post a long reply unless they know the person will return.

Like has been said too, some of us only few certain forums. I've only got about 12 or so forums on my "favorites" view. (You can set it to only show favorite forums). I only have personal experience in certain areas, so I don't visit forums where I don't have experience. Most of us share on the things we've experienced for ourselves, so if a topic isn't getting many replies, it may just be that there isn't a member who understands at that moment.

I've also seen some older threads be brought back to life when a newbie browses through and finds a topic they understand or also need help with. It seems a lot of topics ebb and flow as people need help with them.

The best way to get known is just to post often. You can start in the less intimidating threads if you like, replying to posts or starting topics. The more we see of you, the more we get to know you.

There are several fairly new members who have posted a lot or talked in chat, and I forget that they're fairly new until I see their sign up date. They've just jumped right in and started talking.

Just like with any community, it takes some time to get acclimated. So just post often and we'll get to know you.

~Rayna

[Doh2007]

I only reply if I feel like I have something to add. And I only frequent a couple of forums that I relate to. Don't be shy about posting if you see a need.

[sabby]

Dear Slipping,

All these nice folks gave you some good heads up about the forums and how things may or may not work around here.

I know that even myself, as a mod, don't always get huge responses to my posts. But you know what? I think that's ok. I find that the quality and the time and effort of those that do respond to my posts far outweigh the idea of wanting or needing more responses.

Sometimes folks have things to say in response...sometimes all they can muster is a virtual hug and a nod of understanding.

I hope you stick around and voice your needs as well as be able to give support too. Many will be grateful for anything you can say to show your support, and many will respond in kind as you all get to know each other.

Wishing the best for you!

Hugsss
sabby

[50guy]

Hi slippingfast;

Sorry you get that impression. I am only a PM away if you wan to chat. sometimes I don't answer on the boards, sorry

[Rhapsody]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SlippingFast said:
however..having not posted much, i do read many posts in nearly all the forums and ive noticed (please correct me if im wrong, i hope i am) that new members dont seem to get as much of a reaction in post replies as some of the regular long-time members.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This is true to a certain point....... and that point being that we are able to help the old members a little better for we already know a lot about them and their life issue (and) they are comfortable enough with us to really open up and share.

So.... my suggestion would be for all new members to just jump in as IF you were already an old friend of everyone's here on PC.

P.S.

I think a lot of us go thru the exact same feeling until we find our own place among the people here - I know I did two years ago.

[SlippingFast]

thank you everyone for replying. what you all say makes perfect sense, and i hold no grudges

[froggie2]