Why do I feel guilty for being ill?

Last night what I considered a good friend pointed out to me very bluntly that my current life circumstances are all my fault.
Not ... I know I’m not blameless.
Instead of fighting for my job I meekly resigned because I didn’t have the mental ability to fight. I got to that point by missing work because I couldn’t get out of bed or got so physically ill trying to leave the house it was ridiculous. So yes my fault. But I couldn’t do it. And I feel guilty for that. I feel like I’m making “excuses”
Once unemployed I handled my finances badly. Again. My fault. Poor decisions. Denial. Bi-polar spending.
No one can beat me up worse than I do every single day.
Can someone please re-assure me that mental illness is real. That I’m not a bad person or a failure because of it.

I once read a quip on the internet that said: "Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it." It's easy for people who don't struggle with mental illness to pass judgement on those who do. There's no blame & no fault here. What has occurred is simply the "fallout" from struggling with mental illness. You're not a bad person or a failure. Believe me... I know something about beating oneself up every single day. (I'll spare you the details.) It can be exhausting! So I hope that, in some way, you can find a path to deep peace within...

mental illness, or 'brain chemistry disorders', as i like to call them, are certainly real~! this culture does not educate us so when we come down with depression or anxiety, we do not know what to do, how to cope, and neither do our 'friends and family'~! their ignorance is just as yours was, but hopefully your compassion for yourself exceeds theirs~!

I don’t believe in destiny or crap like that but I do believe that with all of those synapses sparking in our gray and white matter there exists the machinations of mental disorder behaviors.

I am no longer religious but I like a paragraph written by Paul in his letter to the Romans:

Okay, so delete “sin living in me,” with “it is some brain function living in me that does it.”

During these many years I’ve struggled with the idea of the ego/I am to blame for different thoughts or behaviors that seem to take hold. I’m really a pretty nice guy (old uni friends — and even high school friends describe me as ‘kind’ to ‘the kindest person I’ve ever met’ — Ha! I had them fooled!) but when my symptoms kick in, when I’m a god? I am a wrathful god and I will rain vengeance down on those who have hurt me.

Eh, enough about me. I still recommend that you speak to someone in the mental health field. Again, can you ask your mom if you can see a shrink?

Good luck to you. No, I don’t think that you’re a psychopath — that’s my unscientific opinion! Psychopaths don’t feel guilt.