[CrazyRG]

I hate being a failure. How did everything come to this? Why can't I do ANYTHING in my life anymore? Why do I simply not know anymore how to do all the things, even the things I was best at before? How can someone loose all their skills??? I am incapable of anything and I am the only one who could change this but since I don't know how to do ANYTHING anymore, I'm just helpless and don't know what to do! And the longer I don't do anything, the more I loose the skills and the knowledge I had before!
This is a vicious circle and I am the only one who ould change my situation but I can't because I am incapable of it!
this is no life anymore! I am incapable of everything! How am I supposed to lead a life? Every day of my life is a waste of time and I hate just wasting my life away and doing nothing while I become more and more dump and more and more unhealthy physically! But I don't know how to do anything! My head is just empty, I'm totally clueless and I fail at everything!
I cannot even accomplish one single task! I had to write an academic assignment for University since months and I didn't even start yet, and basically my time for this is over now! Why do I not know how to do this anymore?! I have done those things before and was able to do them!
When I was still at school, I had been one of the best students and absolutely knew how to do things like that! And now I have no clue anymore ! How is that possible??!!
And in my leisure time I don't know what to do with myself either!
What is this?! How can someone become like this?!
I can't stand this anymore! I can't live like this anymore!

[Sunflower123]

Have you been evaluated by a professional? Do you have any ideas about what might be going on?

[Shazerac]

Hi CrazyRG, have you tried talking to a doctor or therapist? I'm noticed in another one of your posts a poem about how you hate yourself.

We are not professionals here at psych central and can't tell you why you are like this. In my opinion you sound depressed. But that's just my opinion.

I hope you are able to get some help. You don't have to suffer like this

Originally Posted by CrazyRG

I hate being a failure. How did everything come to this? Why can't I do ANYTHING in my life anymore? Why do I simply not know anymore how to do all the things, even the things I was best at before? How can someone loose all their skills??? I am incapable of anything and I am the only one who could change this but since I don't know how to do ANYTHING anymore, I'm just helpless and don't know what to do! And the longer I don't do anything, the more I loose the skills and the knowledge I had before!
This is a vicious circle and I am the only one who ould change my situation but I can't because I am incapable of it!
this is no life anymore! I am incapable of everything! How am I supposed to lead a life? Every day of my life is a waste of time and I hate just wasting my life away and doing nothing while I become more and more dump and more and more unhealthy physically! But I don't know how to do anything! My head is just empty, I'm totally clueless and I fail at everything!
I cannot even accomplish one single task! I had to write an academic assignment for University since months and I didn't even start yet, and basically my time for this is over now! Why do I not know how to do this anymore?! I have done those things before and was able to do them!
When I was still at school, I had been one of the best students and absolutely knew how to do things like that! And now I have no clue anymore ! How is that possible??!!
And in my leisure time I don't know what to do with myself either!
What is this?! How can someone become like this?!
I can't stand this anymore! I can't live like this anymore!

I am sure their's stuff you can do.

everyone (and I mean everyone) has skills, and learns them- maybe not on a daily bases, but does learn them.

mine is being able to name all of henry the 8th's wives, and what happened to them (divorced, beheaded or died)

it may not seem like much, but I treasure it- especially since I sucked at history at school.

I bet you have something to be proud of

[CrazyRG]

Hi Jennifer,
thank you for replying.
No, I haven't been evaluated by a professional.
I always believed, I didn't have any issues that were "severe" enough for that. I actually never noticed I had any issues.
All of this developed so insidiously over a long period of time that I didn't really realize it. I don't know where it comes from. Maybe I don't even have any serious issues. Maybe I just got lazy and this got me out of practice so that I slowly lost my skills. Probably I am that much of a failure...

[CrazyRG]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Hi CrazyRG, have you tried talking to a doctor or therapist? I'm noticed in another one of your posts a poem about how you hate yourself.

We are not professionals here at psych central and can't tell you why you are like this. In my opinion you sound depressed. But that's just my opinion.

I hope you are able to get some help. You don't have to suffer like this

Thank you for you reply.
I often thought that I might be depressed because, I think, many symtoms of depression apply to me.
But I never talked to a therapist. For me, it would just be way too expensive to get a therapist.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by CrazyRG

Thank you for you reply.
I often thought that I might be depressed because, I think, many symtoms of depression apply to me.
But I never talked to a therapist. For me, it would just be way too expensive to get a therapist.

Are you in school? Can you talk to a counselor? Are you absolutely sure there in no help available for you? Have you looked into It?

[CrazyRG]

Originally Posted by Shazerac

Are you in school? Can you talk to a counselor? Are you absolutely sure there in no help available for you? Have you looked into It?

No I'm at a university. At school, I was one of the best students, which makes it even more weird that I am like this now.
But I live quite far away from my university, so it is pretty difficult to get in touch with someone, especially at the time when I have to write those assignments, because then I have no classes at my university.
Years ago, I have been to a kind of counselor, but on the one hand, that didn't help very much, and on the other hand, I had the same problem that it wasn't very easy to get in touch with them...

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by CrazyRG

Hi Jennifer,
thank you for replying.
No, I haven't been evaluated by a professional.
I always believed, I didn't have any issues that were "severe" enough for that. I actually never noticed I had any issues.
All of this developed so insidiously over a long period of time that I didn't really realize it. I don't know where it comes from. Maybe I don't even have any serious issues. Maybe I just got lazy and this got me out of practice so that I slowly lost my skills. Probably I am that much of a failure...

I don't believe you are a failure or lazy. Look what you did today. You came to this web-site to find possible solutions as to why this is happening to you. True, we can't diagnose. Having said that, I thought depression as well (you would see a psychiatrist more then likely). If this continues or worsens I hope you'll go at least to your family doctor so he can guide you to the right specialist (i was even wondering about something neurological). Good luck and best wishes.

I can really relate.

You know, I can relate too. I had a breakdown while in college and suddenly could not write a simple paper. I let my professor know that I was struggling immensely over the paper and practically having a breakdown, and he allowed me to just talk about the book with him rather than write the paper. So I passed the class.

I am not a professional either, but it does seem like it's depression, and you say you are showing symptoms.

Do you have someone at school that you can talk to/call on the phone about this? A professor for instance?

I don't think you can lose skills that we've already had in life. It seems that something else is blocking you from being able to perform, which means it's fixable.

I truly hope you can get the help you need and a resolution. ((((Hugs))) I can understand your frustration with this.. thinking of you (((More hugs))))

Originally Posted by CrazyRG

I hate being a failure. How did everything come to this? Why can't I do ANYTHING in my life anymore? Why do I simply not know anymore how to do all the things, even the things I was best at before? How can someone loose all their skills??? I am incapable of anything and I am the only one who could change this but since I don't know how to do ANYTHING anymore, I'm just helpless and don't know what to do! And the longer I don't do anything, the more I loose the skills and the knowledge I had before!
This is a vicious circle and I am the only one who ould change my situation but I can't because I am incapable of it!
this is no life anymore! I am incapable of everything! How am I supposed to lead a life? Every day of my life is a waste of time and I hate just wasting my life away and doing nothing while I become more and more dump and more and more unhealthy physically! But I don't know how to do anything! My head is just empty, I'm totally clueless and I fail at everything!
I cannot even accomplish one single task! I had to write an academic assignment for University since months and I didn't even start yet, and basically my time for this is over now! Why do I not know how to do this anymore?! I have done those things before and was able to do them!
When I was still at school, I had been one of the best students and absolutely knew how to do things like that! And now I have no clue anymore ! How is that possible??!!
And in my leisure time I don't know what to do with myself either!
What is this?! How can someone become like this?!
I can't stand this anymore! I can't live like this anymore!

It seems you've been through events which have shifted your attention from your usual doings.
It may be a matter of questioning yourself - "why do I need this skill right now?"
Let's say you love skiing, but you accidentally lose a leg - will you struggle skiing, or understand that it will most likely not be possible anymore and may need to find a different hobby?
Sounds harsh, I know. But mental conditions, unlike a physical loss, are much more treatable, manageable and curable.
After curing whatever situation you're in, you may be able to resume to your skill, or perhaps even adopt a better one. But again, a question which should be asked is - what for?

For instance, I want to cycle. Why? Because it's one of my favorite sports, and the purpose of it is feeling good and renewed, and improve my health.
Another example - I want to expand my aquarium hobby. Why? Because I've always loved animals, and want them decorating my life. They also have a calming effect, especially for anxiety. Had a friend who's had anxiety, and whenever she looked at my aquarium, she'd be in a calm I've almost never seen in her.
Gaming is also an activity which can help me deal with stress.

[CrazyRG]

Wow incredible.
After one complete year in which I thought I finally would start to figure it out and get better, I am now back here with the EXACT. SAME. f*CKING. PROBLEMS.
I really am completely dumb and incapable and I have no future like this.
I could as well kill myself tomorrow. I am a waste of life. being me is a punishment.
If I killed myself, everyone would benefit from it, including myself.
The only thing that has stopped me so far from doing it is that I would even be too dumb to kill myself and I'd probably end up disabled in a hospital for the rest of my life.

[Quarter life]

Hi CrazyRG.

Hormonal imbalance/deficit and autoimmune issues can have an insidious effect on our cognitive skills and executive functioning. Losing the ability to spontaneously function of course brings with it great worry and depression. These deficits I mentioned may be nothing...but they may also be everything. Having a full blood and hormonal screening would be a very good place to start in my opinion.....Ruling out things that can be readily addressed, so as to move forward toward pinpointing what's really going on.

Find an integrative doctor who is invested in dealing with symptoms rather than text book diagnosis'. Be your own advocate, and if they dismiss your concerns as ageing or a depressive phase....get vocal. I am in no way undermining how serious and utterly debilitating depression can be, but depression is quite often a symptom of an underlying problem that needs addressing.

[Rose76]

Well you managed to put together a pretty coherent post at the top of this thread. That involved quite a bit of skill and ability. I know college graduates who can't put together a paragraph. (which is a sad commentary on how colleges hand out diplomas to the under-educated who pay enough tuition money.) You may not be operating at the top of your game. But you are a long ways from having lost all your capacities.

Basically, you need to participate in something where you get some confirmation that you can do something capably. The world is full of opportunities for that. Pick something . . . anything. Start small with a commitment you are unlikely to fail at.