[seeker1950]

I really thought my mom would die last night in the hospital. I spent twelve hours there all night till my sister came to relieve me. Mom would freak out if she knew the condition she's in right now., always insisting on washing her face and putting on her lipstick! I sat up all night holding her hand, requesting more and more pain medication, and the nurse was very responsive and compassionate. This is not Hospice, but the little hospital near my home. Now I can't go to sleep! I need to, but I'm just wanting to talk.
It's really hard to see a loved one in this shape....gasping for air. As I sat an held her hand, at one point, as she convulsed in pain, I was trying to comfort her, talking in soft tones, I said, "I love you, Mom," and she smiled! I just wish she could go to sleep and have it over with!
Patty

Very understandable seeker.

It is very hard to watch someone in real pain like that. I'm sorry that you and your mom are going through this.

thinking of you and your mom, Patty-

You're going through such a hard time, it may not be much to say-- but please try to hold on to that "love" to help get you through this. Your mom knows you love her-- that's something to hold on to.

wish I could help more--

My heart is with you.

mandy

[(JD)]

I'm so very sorry to hear that your mom is so close to ending this life of hers. Do you really think she'd freak out? I think people who are dying usually know it. I think she is putting on a good face (literally) for you...

Please consider talking with her about "what if" she were to die? I have found that the majority of people WANT someone to mention it and allow them to talk. It takes a huge burden of stress off them, and it opens the way to say all the things you need to say to each other. You need to talk about it with her, don't you?

I KNOW it is very difficult. Do your best, and that will be fine.

[LMo]

Patty - your mother is so lucky to have you as a daughter

I'm sure your words meant a ton to her. I'm thinking of you both and wishing her pain to go away

[seeker1950]

Mom is past hearing me now, and I just hope it is brief...this last time. I don't know...the body can hang on for a long time, I guess. I really thought she'd die last night while I was with her. I'm glad I said the last "I love you," and got a smile.
Love
Patty

[bptoo]

Patty,

It's hard to know what to say at times like this, but I wish you and your Mom the best, whatever that may be.

You and your Mom are in my heart and my prayers.

Love,
Greg

[sabby]

((((((((((((((((((( Patty & Mom )))))))))))))))))))

I was with my dear aunty a year ago when she passed. She did not go easily (I think her mind was there, but her body just held on). I'm so very happy you got a response from your mom when you told her you loved her. I'm sure it warmed your heart and hers too.

No matter if she responds to you or not.....keep talking to her, keep holding her hand....help her bridge from here to there with love and compassion. It will not only mean the world to her, but to you as well. I did the same for my mum when she passed 26 years ago. To this day I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to hold her hand when she went to eternal sleep.

I am so sorry for the pain your mom is in. It's a terrible and difficult thing to watch. Know that you are doing everything within your power to make her as comfortable as you can. She knows this .... she does!

*Gentle Hugs*
sabby

My heart aches for you Patty. I know what it's like to say good-bye to a loved one in pain. I wish peace for the both of you.

[lindee]

((((((seeker and family))))))

[(JD)]

[Danialla]

Oh seeker I feel so intensly for you.

On one hand you are given the opportunity to tell your mom how much you love her. But on the other, this is probably one of the absolutely hardness things you will ever go through.

My brother past away after a long struggle with cancer. The end was so hard.

I am so happy that you have been able to tell your mom you love her. That will be so important to you after this is over. I would also encourage you to tell your mom that it is okay to let go.

Tell her that you will always love her and that you will miss her, but that you understand how hard this is for her and that she can let go, move on to whatever your family's beliefs are... Sometimes that is what a dying person needs, permission to do just that. It is so hard.

Please accept my prayers for your mom, you and all your loved ones.

[SeptemberMorn]

Patty, there's not much more I can add to all that's been given you here.

Just know that my heart is with you and your mom... as well as my prayers. If you can get through this, you can get through anything. I have no doubt you'll get through it.

You're doing a wonderful job, Patty. Know that in your heart. No regrets later... ok?

You're blessed that you have a sister to share this with. Share your thoughts and emotions with her, too.

[DePressMe]

Patty, I just lost my grandma...I can relate to some of what you are going through... I say some because I know losing your mom must be so much harder. My thoughts are with you.

[froggie2]

Thinking of you and what is happening right now. Lucky you to have that smile forever in your heart. Hold it close as one of your moms last gifts.

[bebop]

Patty I am so sorry to hear she is nearing the end. It is such a hard thing to watch. I was with my mom the last 4 days and it was tough. We all kept wondering why she would not just let go. I think in these times it is very important to tell her it is ok to go. Sometimes they need to hear that. If she is beyond talking anymore then just lean down and tell her how much you love her and that it is ok. That you will be ok but she needs to go rest now. honey I am feeling your pain right now. I and the rest are here for you. much love hon.

[okiedokie]

Patty,
I am thinking of you and your mom as well. It is so dang hard. You are so right...death is not easy, not on the dying or the living.

I'm so happy that you and your mom had that moment together. I'm sure as time goes by, you will remember it often.
Take good care,
Okie

[blah__x]

((((((((((((((((((((seeker))))))))))))))))))))

im so sorry..

[seeker1950]

Hi, Sweet PC friends...You are like family!
Well, I've spent another 12 hour night from 8 p.m. till this morning 8 a.m. with Mom. I did try to talk to her and tell her it's okay to let go. I tried to tell her of any unfinished business, like calling my aunt, which is one of the last things she asked while she was still coherent.
I've talked to her a lot, and to some of the things I've said, she has blinked her eyes or raised her eyebrows. One of the nurses asked, "Is she waiting for someone?" They have all expressed surprise that she is hanging on so long.
My dad died the day after Thanksgiving, 18 years ago. I don't know...Maybe that's what she's going to do.
LOVe
Patty

[ECHOES]

(( patty ))

Thinking of you and your family.

When my aunt was in her last days, in a coma dying of breast cancer, she was incoherent all the time. But when there were several people in her room talking, every time her husband would speak, she would turn her head and make sounds. I think she knew he was there on some level. And I think your mom heard you tell her that you love her.

I'm glad she's getting such loving excellent care from you and your family and the medical caregivers.

[sabby]

((((((((((( Patty )))))))))))))

It's possible she's waiting until after the holiday. I'm sure she doesn't want you to have to equate the holiday with her passing. The will to go on is strong in most people. It is an inherent will....and at the same time, if one is spiritual, they are waiting for the "right time", maybe waiting for others to come for them and lead them home. My belief is that there is business to be taken care of.....spiritually....and it can take time for that to happen, for the individual to feel at peace and accept their time.

I'm so sorry you are all going through this. My heart goes out to you, your sister, your mom and the rest of your family. As you work through all your emotions, I pray you find a peace soon....knowing you are a good daughter, a loving daughter, a forgiving daughter and one who will carry her mother's memory in a positive and respectful light.

I'm so glad you have PC to lean on at this time. What a blessing for you and for all of us to be able to support you at this time. When we sit down for our dinner today, you and everyone at PC will be in our prayers.

Much love & respect
sabby

[splitimage]

((((seeker))))

I'm so sorry - this must be so hard on you. know that you're in my thoughts.

--splitimage

[bebop]

Patty I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I know how tough this time is for you and your family. I am so glad you are able to tell her your feelings and it is ok to go home. We wondered the same thing with my mom. It was so hard to watch her struggle the last couple of days. please keep coming for support.

[SeptemberMorn]

"My belief is that there is business to be taken care of.....spiritually...."

I believe in this quite strongly, too.

[seeker1950]

Thanks to all of you for your kindess and support.
Mom passed away this evening.
LOve
Patty