So tired

I don't even know what to say. I'm trying to calm my sister down so she isn't having muscle seizures. I had to ask my mother in law to put in the turkey.

My sister is beating herself up and I'm trying to help her, but she's turning everything inward as more fuel.

She "went off" when my narcissistic mother greeted her at the door. Mom's been putting the heavy guilt trip on sis for some time.

I just want to tell everyone here to shut the fudge up, but I can't. So I'm telling you guys. Lucky you.

If nothing else, the family dynamics during holidays can be interesting. But also frustrating and painful. Hang in there.

Hang in there!!! You can do it!!!

Thank you for the support. I thought this was going be a routine holiday. Yesterday I had to retreat to my room to try to get it together. I was at the point that I couldn't stand the sound of my mom's voice.

She came walking in to talk to me and I shouted at her to "get out! get out! get out!" I finally took a Xanax and that helped. I had zero emotional energy left.

It's going to take a while to process all of this. I can't tell you how grateful I am for this community. I feel like I have a sanctuary here.

You can tell us to shut up anytime you can't tell your family to.

I'm so glad you're finding good support here.

you can tell me to shut up anytime ya want I'm here to listen
Angie

Oh no! That came out so wrong! I didn't mean I was telling you guys to shut up. I meant that I was telling you guys I was upset at my family. I'm so sorry it came out wrong.

However, I'm amazed and touched that you have told me you will accept me even if I do something rude. Sniff. Thanks.

No worries hon!! Even if we got the meaning wrong, we still mean it. We're all here to help each other vent.

Hey Doh, it is amazing how people here accept us...even when we are having a tough time. I hope today is going better for you and you are in the process of recovering from your stressful family. My thoughts are with you.

Doh,

Sounds like you are decompressing.

Sounds like a delayed response to me -- something you really wanted to tell your family.

I think we're fairly safe to yell at, when you can't yell at the people, who you really want to yell at.

What does everybody else think?

Hugs,

EJ

You all give me hope.

I've slept a lot since turkey day. I needed to hibernate and not have to deal with my family's dysfunction. Thankfully, I'm sitting four kitties. Spending time throwing the ball for them is healing. They are so funny; they crack me up.

Oh, and the in-laws are leaving tomorrow! Yay...oops. Er...hmm.

P.S. My son called to say hi on Thanksgiving. He's on vacation. My m-i-l told me, "You missed a chance to give him a guilt trip." Isn't that weird?

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EJ711 said:
I think we're fairly safe to yell at, when you can't yell at the people, who you really want to yell at.

What does everybody else think?

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I think that's a great idea/use for us here at PC.

Doh, don't try to do "everything" for others all the time. Sometimes others get too use to our compensating and picking up the slack when they should be exercising their own muscles. If your mother and sister are having problems, they need to work them out; getting in the middle can sometimes just mean getting caught in the crossfire and that doesn't help you or them.

Those are wise words Perna. I don't want to do this all over for Christmas. I'm feeling like I got ripped off at Thanksgiving.

Besides, my sister said she was going to quit seeing her psychologist!!!!! She lies to him, then expects me to do his job.

I think I'm going to copy all this advice to read over later, when I'm feeling guilty for whatever.