[itsjustme111]

Hi all, how is everyone today. I have some tough questions and if nobody can answer thats okay. I had a home study done today; a lady whom came in my home to study what I am like with my kids and everyday life. I banged heads a couple of times with her but I stood for what I belive in. She was quite rude on a couple of occasions towards my kids and interupted when I was dealing with them. I put a stop to it because last time I checked, they are my kids. Anyway, we have deadlines to when these custody issues are to be completed by. Its supposed to be done by the end of August. I am totally falling apart emotionally and physically; if I don't get help I won't be "around" much longer; mentally. On a few occasions today I got so dizzy I lost my balance (I assume from the eating, not sleeping and stress). She picked up on it but I tried to cover it up but saying I am a clutz. Truth was I can not function anymore. I finally realize that I need help but do I put my health (in all aspects) on the line or do I try to get the understanding from the courts and see if it can be temperarily post-poned. What is really hard is the fact that I have not dealt with the loss of my baby; its hard to when all of this is going on. The last time I saw my doctor he felt that I was avoiding dealing with this and this was why I am so depressed. He feels that I am self abusing because of whats going on inside. I have told him some things and he knows that I am in trouble but I refused his help (up till this point). The fact is if I keep going this way; I will die. If not by my eating by my mental state. I need help NOW not a month from this time. I can't do this on my own. My kids are at their grandparents from tomorrow until next Sunday; ( I have to take them and pick them up; its a 3hr drive) I wanted to take the opportunity to get help while they are gone. Thats why I made an appointment with my doctor next week. I was going to cancel but I just dont know if I should. If I tell my doctor everything; my thoughts and potential harm; he will not let me walk away from it. But if I am not honest, I will not get better.
I know this is tough and I am not looking for someone to tell me what I need to do; I just want some opinions. It would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks all.
Elizabeth

[LadyDragus]

I agrree 200% with ozzie.. Keep the appt, and write down everything, so you can tell your doc what is gonig on.. do not hide anything..

Getting the help you need is the best thing you can do..
Your kids will love you even more for it.. Cause you know what.. There mommie will be around a hole lot longer

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take time to heal thyself before trying to help others, or you will never get better

[dexter]

Ditto everyone else. Keep that appointment.

I have no idea what they look for in a home visit but I would think that "being yourself" with the kids, disciplining them, etc. would be the right thing to do, so I bet you did well there. As to the dizziness, even without the mental health problems, you are going through a lot of stress, and hopefully they will take that into account. Even if you had not been eating because you are simply worried about your court date would seem reasonable I would hope. And most importantly, even with the stress, you are still on top of things with the kids.

Wishing you the best through this.

{{{{{{istjustme}}}}}}

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