Being accountable to no one

I always thought the only one i had to be accountable to was myself.

But after 13 yrs of therapy i.learned to be accountable to Ts.

Now that ive quit, on one hand its good, but on the other hand i realise maybe i miss it and maybe some of the things i used to do it was because i knew i would have had to tell the Ts.

Right now, after 2 months of being on my own i miss that part a lot and i wonder how "normal people" (not in therapy) do. Maybe they have someone else to be accountable to but i have no one and its... weird and i really feel lonely and abandoned to myself.

What do you think?

Mostly, i think im afraid of making big steps without anybody knowing...

Yes, my T is wonderful for accountability.......BUT.....I also have friends that I talk things over with & when I have problems or just need some support, they are there for me & give suggestions & we work through options.

I never had that before I moved to where I am now. I WAS married & had family I never trusted to KNOW anything so I made some bad decisions on my own. I can honestly see now how being surrounded by wonderful supportive friends I TRUST to know things is so very important in life. I am glad at this point in my life I have this. Now that I have this in my life I can see how much the lack of is was definitely difficult. I made some wise choices in the past, but the battle to make those wise choices was not easy either........if I would have had someone to talk over my thoughts with, even that wouldn't have been such a war.

My T now is someone who I talk to about things I don't want to continually burden friends with some of the ongoing things I am dealing with in life & my T also helps me talk through how I have handles things & what I might have done better & she just keeps me on track. I see her once a month & that helps....plus several DBT groups a month also.....but that doesn't get into specifics.

how do i know what to do when i dont know what to do?

when is it time to ask for help?

Are there any support groups you can attend? Not necessarily therapy groups, but support from peers.

Forums is all i have, no where else i can talk freely and say the truth...

I can relate VERY MUCH, @sinking! I know it is certainly harder for me to do things without having a Therapist behind my back. I'd say that is part of the Learning Process in Therapy too. I hope you'll reconsider your decision and perhaps see another Therapist. In any case, it's REALLY good to see you back! I MISSED YOU A LOT! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @sinking, your Family, your Friends, your Therapist, and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, AWESOME, KIND AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by sinking how do i know what to do when i dont know what to do? when is it time to ask for help?

Sometimes it is not just about asking for help. I am very independent & very seldom ask for physical help to do things but when I have any big decisions to make, I ALWAYS make sure I talk it over with someone I trust on the subject that I am dealing with whether I need help or not because others who are knowledgeable can always see something I don't & discussions ALWAYS firm up my decisions. I NEVER go against what I believe is right but it does help me adapt my decisions to being on a better path.

The thing is that this person (or group of people) have to be knowledgeable because otherwise their help is nothing more than opinion & may not be worth any more than what you yourself are thinking.