[Noexcuses2020]

I need to vent. I’m angry as f***. I’m pissed because:

- A business colleague did not get back to me
- Another business colleague is ignoring me
- It’s taking so f’ing long to complete a project
- A so-called friend and business partner treats me like he’s my superior
- It’s taking so f’ing long to implement a client project
- A business colleague told me great job one day and bugger off the next
- I put on 20 pounds these last few months

I just needed to get this off my chest. Here’s what I’m going to do about these issues.

BUSINESS COLLEAGUE NOT GETTING BACK TO ME. To be fair, this same business colleague was very complimentary the last time we spoke. Plus, he made a very strategic introduction a couple of weeks ago, which he didn’t have to do. He told me that a very large company is very interested in my product.

FEEL BETTER? Yes. It was helpful to take a steps back and look at things more stoically - less emotionally.

ANOTHER COLLEAGUE IGNORING ME. To be fair, I have not reached out to him in months. This guy is a major industry figure, so it behooves me to keep a level head and to be patient. My product can make a big difference. HIs company also recently partnered with a company that could eventually become a very strategic partner. I need to continue to focus on bringing my product to market. Just take a deep breath and soldier on. A relationship with his company is hugely valuable to me.

FEEL BETTER? Yes. It was helpful to vent and put things in perspective. I would rather get angry “here” and be cool, calm and collected (and assertive) out “there”.

TOO LONG TO COMPLETE A PROJECT. To be fair, the extra time is allowing me to really hone in my message and positioning. The agreement should be ready for signature this week. Again, I know this has been a long time coming, but stay patient. Set a goal to update the messaging and presentation this week.

FEEL BETTER? Yes. I fortunately have some ramp because we landed a new project. I need to come up with a launch plan. In other words, assume the product is ready for launch in August, I need to define exactly what I need to do.

SO-CALLED FRIEND. To be fair, he has been a very good friend and I did very clearly let him know how I felt in no uncertain terms. It behooves me to stay friendly. I just need to be assertive when I’m around him. He’s got a huge ego and wants me to play second fiddle. I just need to be friendly and assertive. We’ll be fine.

FEEL BETTER? Yes. I like that I am motivated to be assertive.

CLIENT PROJECT TAKING TOO LONG. The good news is that you have made great progress the last few weeks and it looks like you addressed a couple of key issues. This guy is a big fan and will be a reference, so I just need to focus on reconnecting next week at which point I’ll show him a couple of new features.

FEEL BETTER? Yes. This has taken a long time but will be worth it in the end.

GREAT JOB THEN BUGGER OFF. To be fair, he didn’t tell me to bugger off. He simply wanted two colleagues with whom he’s worked for 15 years to take the lead on building the solution. You, very wisely, reached out to the two colleagues to educate them about your product. They responded very favorably both when they first saw the product and, second, to your education email. You’re definitely going to meet again. So, you could also take the attitude that it’s awesome that you’re involved in designing this very significant solution. Stay positive. Stay strong. Plus, don’t forget that you are about to sign a partnership agreement, which will create a phenomenal opportunity for you.

FEEL BETTER? Yes, definitely. This is a great opportunity. The fact that the two colleagues responded so positively to my email will also help my colleague feel better. Do the market opportunity exercise by working on your document and the messaging for the launch.

20 POUNDS. You have been able to lose this weight and body fat before and you can do it again. You know what you need to do and have started to do it. Use the anger from the above issues to fuel your motivation to get in phenomenal shape. In fact, this will be your full-time job for the next two weeks. You simply have to be disciplined especially about not snacking at night. You’ll workout - just push your intensity, which you are also starting to do. You already made good progress from yesterday to today by not snacking after 8 pm.

FEEL BETTER? Yes. I wish I could get rid of the fat over night, but I can and will fix this. It’s super important. It will give me the confidence to interact with anybody. I can and I will do this.

[Noexcuses2020]

I’m highly disappointed that I have not heard back from some colleagues. It makes me mad, sad, and discouraged. Whatever happened to personal and professional courtesy?

WHAT I FEEL LIKE SAYING BUT WON’T

M, why in the f*** didn’t respond to L’s and my email? That’s so f’ing rude and unprofessional. I’m tired of having to chase you down.

C, why do you constantly ignore my emails? You were very positive after our last interaction, but then you ghost me.

D, I don’t get it. One day you tell me what a great job I’m doing and the next you tell me to wait.

TRIGGER: No response to email from M, C, and D, and no contact from DM

AUTO: This is f’ed. This means M is mad at me. It means C thinks I’m a loser. It means D is going to make it harder to work together. It ultimately means their company no longer wants to work with me, so my business will be ruined.

DISTORTIONS. Discounting the positive + Catastrophizing

RATIONAL CONVERSATION.

C. I completely understand why you would be upset. Overall you have a big issue with feeling rejected and ignored. I also understand why this might feel hurtful. I also understand your distress and fear because this has to do with your livelihood.

M. That’s exactly right. I’m sad, angry, discouraged, and afraid. Plus, I just read about how another company offers a competitive product. I feel incompetent and impotent.

C. Thanks for sharing. It’s useful to get these emotions out in the open, so we have something to work with. Okay if I ask you a few questions?

M. Please do

C. If I’m not mistaken, even though you haven’t heard back from M, the opportunity with CL still exists, right? I know it’s delayed but per L’s email, he’s requesting to wait until August. In fact, he said he wants to do the deal but because of COVID they don’t have budget right now. The main thing is that they want to move forward. Also, budget will become available at some point. In other words, it’s not like the customer is saying to get lost. The opportunity still exists and you have an agreement to regroup in August, right?

M. That’s true

C. So, given this, there’s a high likelihood that you and M will interact probably in the near term because he has to respond to the customer and by default also with you, right?

M. That’s true. I doubt he would have responded to the customer without copying me..

C. Feel a little bit better about this issue with M?

M. Yes, thanks

C. You emailed M again this morning. My advice is that you wait until later this morning or early afternoon and then call and/or text M. Again, the main issue is getting back to the customer and that will happen.

M. That’s true. Thanks for helping me see this perspective.

C. Regarding the lack of response from C, if I’m not mistaken, he sent you a text saying “good job” just last week after you showed him the product, right?

M. That’s true. He did.

C. He also told you that a large company specifically asked for your product, right?

M. Yes, he did say that.

C. And his colleague was also complimentary, right?

M. Yes, she was.

C. And the week before he reached out to you to include you in a meeting with a VERY important executive at a VERY important company, right?

M. Yes, he did.

C. Let’s explore this a little bit.

M. Okay

C. Do you think he would have invited you to such an important meeting if he still didn’t believe in PM?

M. That’s a fair point

C. Think about it. He knows HS. He knows G. He knows MT. But he invited you, right? That’s a big deal. He did not have to do this, right?

M. You’re right. He didn’t.

C. D, that’s the ultimate form of belief in what you’re doing. And he also asked you about S position in your company, right?

M. That’s also true.

C. You’re completely ignoring this comment. He just got off a call where you showed your product to this very important guy at this very important company and the first thing he asks is, what’s S position with your company? He did this based on how this very important person at this very important company reacted to your product. Come on, man. This is a very, very positive signal, right?

M. You’re right. It is. I had completely dismissed this.

C. That act outweighs his not returning your email by 100x. Come on, man!

M. Okay. You’re right. Thanks for reminding me and helping me appreciate the importance of that gesture.

C. Feel better about the issue with C now?

M. Yes, much better. Thanks! BTW, I just heard back from M. We’re on for Thursday.

C. Excellent. Regarding D, did he tell you that he’s excited about working with you?

M. Yes

C. Did he say he is working on putting together an agreement to work together?

M. Yes

C. Have ALL of your conversations with him over the last several weeks been VERY positive?

M. Yes, they have

C. Did he encourage you to create a “new” product that S can sell?

M. Yes, he did

C. Why is that a big deal?

M. Well, for one because it’s his idea, he will endorse it.

C. Why is that a big deal?

M. Because he and the team he is building of which I will be a part only focuses on very large companies. This creates the opportunity to sell PM to lots of big companies. For one, I will be able to sell my product and services under their name, which is huge.

C. Why is that “huge”?

M. Because they have a GREAT brand in our field, so being able to call on companies as part of their company SIGNIFICANTLY improves my ability to generate business.

C. Why?

M. Because they are a large and very well known and respected company whereas my company is relatively unknown. I would no longer have to worry about the objection of “Who are you?” or “How many customers do you have?” I cannot begin to tell you how helpful and appealing this is for me.

C. Very good. Feel better, overall?

M. Yes, much, much better. Thanks for helping me take a step back and see things from a different, logical, and evidence-based perspective. This has been hugely helpful. I’m grateful to have found a little corner of the Internet to be able to vent and problem solve “in public.” There is something very cathartic about this.

C. I’m so glad to hear this. I enjoyed our conversation and happy to hear it helped. Have an awesome day.

M. Thanks. You too!

[Noexcuses2020]

NEED TO VENT

TRIGGER: Making a car purchase

AUTO THOUGHTS: What the f*** are you doing? You’re such a f’ing idiot. We’re in the middle of a pandemic!

DISTORTIONS: Magnifying + Filtering + Labeling + Shoulds

RATIONAL CONVERSATION

C. I understand why you might feel anxious. This is a big purchase, so it’s understandable that you’d feel concerned. Let me ask you a few questions.

M. Okay

C. First, your current car is 20 years old, right?

M. That’s right

C. Tell me about it

M. It’s all banged up. It got hit by another car about 6 months ago and now has dent and a long scratch mark on the driver side. The hood is dented and the passenger side is all scratched up. The ceiling cover is drooping and falling off. The driver side window doesn’t go down and the driver side mirror is falling off. The engine stalls at stop lights. I’m constantly having to add coolant and even then the coolant light goes back on. And the engine is constantly sputtering.

C. Okay. You’ve also said that you feel “trapped.” What do you mean by this?

M. My wife and I are hesitant to drive too far a distance out of fear that car will break down. The battery has run out a couple of times in the last few months and I’ve had to call a tow truck to get it recharged.

C. Go on

M. Frankly, I’m ashamed to be seen in this car. Both times the battery stopped working was in a public setting with lots of people around. It felt so embarrassing to be seen in this piece of **** clunker with a tow truck next to it. I felt like such a low life.

C. Go on

M. Like I said, I feel trapped. I’m afraid to drive it because of the engine and I’m ashamed to drive because it’s such a clunker. It makes me feel depressed. I wish I was stronger and that I could tough it out, but the truth is that it really gets me down.

C. Seems to me that you’ve toughed it out for at least 10 years. The reality is that the car is in terrible shape, so it makes perfect sense to get a new one.

M. I suppose

C. So, what’s the worry?

M. The new car ended up being more expensive than I was originally planning on spending.

C. By how much?

M. $3K

C. Tell me about the new car

M. It’s 5 years old with less than 40k miles. I’ve been checking out cars for months and this the first time I’ve seen one at this price with such low mileage. Every other car I’ve seen typically had 80k to 160k miles. I’ve seen this same car type listed for thousands more with much higher mileage.

C. Great. So the consternation is around having to spend $3k more than you expected?

M. I suppose

C. Go on

M. I’m getting a check in the next few days which will pay for 80% of the car.

C. Go on

M. I’m still concerned about spending the full amount .

C. Okay, let me get this straight. You were comfortable using the payment you’ll be receiving this week to pay for the car, but the car ended up being $3k more than you expected, right?

M. Yes, the tax and fees brought the price up.

C. So, is what you’re saying that you would have been comfortable - not worried - if you were able to pay for the car in full with the upcoming payment?

M. Yes. I was prepared to use this check to pay for the car in full. I feel like an idiot for not fully considering the taxes and additional fees. I feel irresponsible.

C. Thanks for getting that out of your system. It’s reasonable that you needed to replace your exiting car after 20 years and given its current condition. The issue here is what to do about the $3k difference.

M. Okay

C. If I understand, you want to pay cash because you don’t want a car payment and you don’t want to take out a loan due to you trying to increase your credit score, right?

M. That’s right. I’d prefer to not have any additional debt.

C. Is part of the issue that you don’t want to apply for a loan because of the hassle of filling out a credit application and the fear of getting turned down or being charged a high interest rate?

M. That’s right

C. In that case, would you feel better if you had extra income to pay for the $3k difference?

M. Much better

C. So let’s explore what you can do to earn additional income to pay for the $3k.

M. Okay

C. The good news is that you have another new lucrative project that is due to close in the next month or so, right?

M. Yes, that’s right, thank God.

C. You also have the potential for at least one new deal through S, right?

M. Yes, in fact, I have a couple: O___ and R___

C. I think it would be helpful to look at this over a longer term horizon, say over the next 3-6 months.

M. Go on

C. It seems to me that you’re in shock because you have to outlay a large amount of money now, but you haven’t taken into account that you have good opportunities for income in the next several months that would more than pay for the difference and the car itself. Is that fair?

M. Yes. Good points.

C. Also, it seems that you are forgetting about the ____ income opportunity with S.

M. You’re right. I really didn’t think of it this way and had “forgotten” about the S long-term opportunity.

C. You need to replace the existing car for the reasons you cited earlier. You need a new car - period. Fair?

M. Yes, definitely. And I didn’t want to buy a high mileage car that had multiple owners, which is pretty much most of what I saw.

C. Okay, so you are solving a major problem and giving yourself the freedom to not feel and be stuck at home, right?

M. Yes

C. Okay, so we concluded that you have a check coming in this week that pays for the majority of the car, that you have a big payday in the next few months from this next project you will be part of in the next couple of months, and that you have a couple more opportunities with S that would more than pay for the car, right?

M. That’s right

C. Okay, here’s my advice. Enjoy your new car. It looks beautiful and less than 40k miles is unbelievable. You weren’t expecting that were you?

M. No, the last car I looked at for about the same price had close to 60k miles and most of the others had at least 80-90k, if not more.

C. Second, continue this week to focus on your “foundation.” It feels good to be making progress on your fitness, and weight and fat loss goals, right?

M. Definitely. Felt good to see the scale read a 5 pound and 1% body fat loss in a relatively short period of time and due to my training and diet and sleep hygiene discipline.

C. That’s great. Third, spend some time working on your product this week. It serves you well to do so because it helps you appreciate the opportunity it represents. Work on the PB. Review and update the listing. Update the demo.

M. Okay

C. For today, take care of finalizing the car purchase and schedule delivery. Make arrangements to donate your existing car and have it picked up. Take care of your stock situation. Schedule meeting with M. Call M. Focus on rebounding today. You had a tough night sleep wise, so focus on fitness, prayer, and reaching out.

M. Okay

C. Did this help?

M. Definitely. It helped put things in perspective. It really does help to get stuff out of my head and on “paper.” I’m finally after years going to solve this major problem. I found a great car with super low mileage. I just checked and a new 2020 model is 3X the price of this car. Also, thank God, that I do have multiple income opportunities that will make this a non issue. This was very helpful. Thank you! I am a bit tired, so I will focus on wellness and getting back in balance today.

C. Good, ___. Things are not as dire as you make them out to be, my friend. It's easy to get mired in negative thoughts. That's the brain’s tendency, especially given everything that's going on with the pandemic. This is your “staycation” week. Take it. Do the foundation stuff and the work items listed above. Take care of yourself and get after it!

M. Thanks again. Will do.

[Noexcuses2020]

PUTTING THINGS IN PERSPECTIVE

TRIGGER: Conversation with M

AUTO: He’s so f’ing arrogant. He acts like he's better than me. Who the f is he to tell me What to do. Pissed me off, he's working on the U project.

EMOTIONS: Anger + Inferiority + Frustration

RATIONAL CONVERSATION
C. I know that given you only slept for 4 hours the previous night that you were not operating at your best, so you were likely more sensitive than usual. My advice is that you act as if everything is excellent, that business is booming, and that P will be an incredible success. You came up with a great idea yesterday. I suggest you sketch what this will look like.

M. Okay

C. Here are the projects you told me you need to work on:
- Finish uploading content to PM
- Update media content on A/X
- Update PM demo to include templates
- Work on your version of PN
- PM launch plan
- Industry research
- Sketch P+PB idea

M. Yep. Those are the ones

C. Here's my advice. For today focus on Industry research + Sketch P+PB idea + Update media content

M. Okay

C. This will spur your thinking on the launch plan. On a personal level, continue to focus on your fitness and weight/fat loss goals. You are working toward getting into the best shape of your life so that when you're in the room with anyone, they think this guy must be an athlete.

M. Sounds good

C. I also think it's time that you shift from a scarcity to an abundance mindset. There is something to the Law of Attraction. I suggest you relisten the content. Simply put, you get from the universe what you put out. If you're in a fear/scarcity state, you're contracting. Suppose you're in a loving/abundant mindset, your expanding. You're freer, lighter, more fun-loving, more fun to be around, and much more likely to reach your dreams and maximize your potential and God-given skills. Remember, happiness is a skill. It requires work.

M. Makes a sense

C. Don't you feel better already about being in this loving/abundant mindset?

M. Yes, I do. Kind of amazing how this slight mental shift can have such an immediate positive impact.

C. Great. Double down on this and then come back later to discuss what you've learned and experienced.

M. You got it. Thanks. This coaching session was super helpful.

C. You bet. Speak with you later.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Need to decompress and get clarity on what I need to do next

C. Go for it. What’s on your mind?

M. I’m upset about the call with M and that he ignored my email. Really pisses me off.

C. Why?

M. For one, it’s f’ing rude.

C. What else? Why does this bother you? What’s the self-talk? What are you imagining?

M. Great question. The self-talk is: M thinks I’m a loser. He doesn’t want to work with me. He’s upset with me because I didn’t give him content he wanted. I’m imagining that he spoke with C and D and they told him to ignore me.

C. So, you’re afraid that S, overall, no longer wants to work with you, right?

M. Yes, that’s the bigger issue. I feel that they think I’m a nobody compared to other companies they’re working with.

C. Let me ask a few more questions.

M. Okay

C. If I’m not mistaken, your last conversation and interactions with D and C and the Flo’s was actually quite positive, right?

M. I suppose

C. Didn’t D send you a very positive email from D complimenting you on the document you sent?

M. That’s true

C. Didn’t C send you a chat note saying “Nice job” after you showed him the product?

M. That’s also true

C. Didn’t he also make an intro to a key executive at S?

M. That’s also true

C. Also, didn’t D send you a thank you note?

M. Yes

C. Also, didn’t the Flo’s send you a very friendly response?

M. That’s also true

C. As much as you want to be in good standing with M, aren’t D and C the true decision-makers?

M. That’s true

C. Isn’t it also possible that if you create a PM-enabled PN that you’ll be able to work with him again?

M. That’s a good point.

C. So, based on all this, my advice is that you work on the PN tool today. Make that your priority. Work on that then come back later, okay?

M. Okay

C. Was this helpful?

M. Definitely. Thanks for letting me vent and decompress.

C. Great. Talk later.

[*Beth*]

*Outstanding*

Thank you for sharing your posts.

[Noexcuses2020]

NEXT STEPS

M. Just need some help figuring out how to make a great day.

C. Okay. What’s on your mind?

M. Well, I had a very rough day yesterday. I hardly slept the night before, so I had very little energy. Plus, I was upset because I had not heard back from MB or DJ. And I was imaging the worst about CL.

C. What else?

M. I came up with a great idea last night and I ended up eating yogurt. It was delicious but had a high sugar content, so I was slightly heavier and had slightly higher body fat than the night before.

C. Okay. My advice is that you start having some broth late night to calm down your nerves and stomach. Overall you’re making very good progress. You hit your weight goal for the week. Tomorrow is your weekly weigh in so stick to the diet and fitness program you’ve been following, plus drink a lot of water; ideally, three liters.

M. Okay

C. My advice for today is to “run towards the fire.”

M. What do you mean by this?

C. Run toward what you fear most.

M. Go on

C. Your biggest fear is about your business failing and the financial consequences, right?

M. Yes

C. More specifically, your biggest fear is about whether or not PM will be successful, right?

M. That’s right

C. So, given this, I suggest you spend time on PM today. Work on the AX content. Work on the PAPB solution. Work on the SPM content. Work on the 10X plan.

M. Okay

C. Part of th reason I want you to work on this is because it makes you feel better when you work on PM

M. What do you mean?

C. If I’m not mistaken, you were super fired up about the SD PB, right?

M. You’re right. I was.

C. Why?

M. I loved how clean it looks. One of my goals has been to simplify the SPM demo. And the SD PM playbook looks super easy to use and implement.

C. Exactly. This is why I want you to spend time with the product. I also want you to spend time with the talk and AX content because that helps you see the value of PM. And I want you to think about PAPB to put your foot on the throat. This will allow you to tell MG that you have developed a multimedia PAPB system that includes all of the frameworks and content someone would need to include links to curated content. As opposed to one little hour course. Foot on the throat. PAPB.

M. LOVE IT! I’m going to get on this right now. Thanks!

C. Great. Go forth and conquer!

[Noexcuses2020]

RECAP

C. How was your day?

M. Thanks for asking. I had a very productive day. I worked on the PAPB project. I made excellent progress and I’m pleased with the work. I believe I’m onto something very big. To be honest, part of my motivation is to put my foot on the throat of MG. I’m tired of him acting like he’s better than me. He’s so f’ing arrogant.

C. Go on

M. I’m looking forward to dismissing his little project. I’m going to tell him that IMO there is not a significant need for one-off paid c___ when there is already so much publicly available great content on the web. My approach creates a set of f/w for specific bps that covers every phase of the cycle. I’ll show him the PAPB TOC and make the point that what people need are frameworks with examples and links to bps. That’s a more immediately actionable program.

PAPB UVP

M. Having a personalized tool with tips and and one-click access to curated bp content from the most reputable companies in the business Ed the user can immediately apply to a real world scenario versus sitting through hours of video is a 100x more effective and efficient way to drive sustainable change.

C. That is a good idea. And good for you. You’re starting to improve your self-image and self-esteem. It’s been a while.

M. Yes, it has. It does feel good to start feeling bullish.

C. So glad to here this. It’s perfectly fine to use anger and revenge as motivation, so long as you channel it properly and don’t direct these emotions to others. Always be the calmest one in the room.

M. Thanks

C. Will be interesting to see what the scale reads tomorrow.

M. Yeah, I had two slices of pizza. Other than that I stuck to K. I had roast chicken with the two slices for dinner. Other than a couple of protein bars/shakes, I didn’t eat anything else. I had some broth for an evening snack. And drank more water.

C. That’s good progress. Keep it up.

M. Thanks. Talk later.

[lizardlady]

These are great posts. Thanks for sharing.

I don't know if you are looking for feedback, but I have a suggestion about buying the car. I'd suggest getting a loan for part of the cost. Making regular payments will boost your credit score. So you end up with two positives a new car and an improved credit score. Thanks for mentioning tax and other fees. I'm in the market for another vehicle. I forgot those extra costs.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

C. How did your day go?

M. Good. Went out for brunch and worked all day on the PAPB project, which means I spent most of yesterday and today working on this.

C. How are you feeling?

M. I’m nervous

C. Why?

M. I think the idea to provide a pre-built PB with templates is a great idea.

C. But?

M. Building this is nerve wracking

C. Why?

M. It’s super time consuming

C. You already finished the first part in two days, right?

M. True

C. I think that you already have most of the content that you can easily repurpose

M. Okay

C. I suggest you continue to work on it this week.

M. Okay

C. But the main thing you need to do is to create the story. You already started working on this. Just sketch it out and start testing the idea. Spend some time on this now and come back tomorrow to discuss. Get your workout in. That still needs to be a priority.

M. Will do. I’ll pump out a quick workout

C. Good. Feel better?

M. It was helpful to get my thoughts on “paper.” Thanks!

C. You got it.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Need to decompress

C. Go for it

M. F’ing G did it again.. He always needs to be the f’ing center of attention.

C. What do you mean?

M. Yesterday at the meeting with a potential customer, he started talking about himself. He showed slides with testimonials about HIM. It was so inappropriate and unnecessary. We had to extend the meeting because he spent so much f’ing time talking about him. Me this and me that. It was my meeting and opportunity. I invited him and ends up making it about him. F’ing unbelievable!

C. Completely understandable for you to be upset. What did you do?

M. I called him immediately after the meeting and told him that what he did was poorly done and completely unnecessary. I did not mince words. I wrote the word ”assertive” on a sheet of paper before I called him to put me in that mindset. I wasn't overly emotional, but I also don't mince my words. He got the point and backed down. I'm laughing about it now, but f***.

C. Feel good to get this out of your system?

M. Definitely. I needed to.

C. What else?

M. Well, do you remember how upset and worried I was about S? How I thought that M and C were pissed with me? How I imagined that they no longer wanted to work with me?

C. Yes

M. Well, it turns out that I was wrong. Everything is fine. Had a great conversation with D. He and I get along great. He's a great guy. It was a very productive and enjoyable conversation. We even joked around a bit.

C. That's great to hear.

M. Yeah, I was relieved to hear that it's full steam ahead. We’ll be signing the contract in the next couple of weeks. He still loves PM. It turns out the other people have an issue that has nothing to do with me. So, long story, short, we’re good.

C. Excellent. What else?

M. I was fatigued after the call. I've been working nonstop for weeks, including over the weekend, and dealing with lots of stressful situations., including being anxious about the COVID situation and everything else that's going on. I think it finally caught up with me, which was kind of weird given I just had had this great conversation with D. Fortunately, I am sleeping better.

C. These are stressful times.

M. They are, but I need to persevere. I can't let up, and I'm up for the challenge.

C. That's the spirit! Go get ’em!

M. Will do. Thanks for ”listening.”

C. You got it.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Need to decompress

C. Go for it. How was your day?

M. I ended up making today about getting organized. I didn't do any business work other than one meeting.

C. Go on

M. I cleaned the house including the kitchen and my office. Went grocery shopping and worked out.

C. Go on

M. I'm trying to lose some weight and body fat, but not making a lot of progress even though I'm working out regularly and my diet is decent.

C. So what do you think you need to do differently?

M. I need to do IF.

C. Go on

M. I'm doing low carb but my weight is not budging.

C. What about your workouts?

M. I'm doing strength training and a little bit of cardio.

C. Okay. Tomorrow instead of the protein shake for breakfast, have coffee with almond milk and protein powder. Then don't eat anything until lunch.

M. Okay.

C. Also increase your cardio. It's okay you used today to collect yourself and get the house in order, so to speak.

M. Okay, thanks.

C. What's the game plan for tomorrow?

M. I have a client meeting at 11:30. It's an important meeting because I want to delight them, so I need to do some prep work in the morning.

C. Go on

M. I'm then going to work on the SDPM A/X.

C. That's a good idea because you can use this for your other projects.

M. Yep

C. Look at and update your to do list for tomorrow.

M. Will do

C. Did this help?

M. Absolutely. Thanks!

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS
M. Hey, need to get some stuff off my chest

C. Go for it

M. I'm better now, but I sure was pissed about the incident with M. I'm tired of it, but instead of continuing to whine about it, I'm going to use it as fuel.

C. Tell me more

M. This is a ”chip on the shoulder” type of motivation. It's motivation from getting tired of him treating me like I'm a subordinate.

C. Go on

M. It's me saying, ”F*** you. Watch me!”

C. Go on

M. I have a great opportunity in front of me, and I'm going to maximize it. The plan is beginning to emerge.

C. Go on

M. I've been pushing hard the last several weeks (years) and starting to have some breakthroughs. I feel like Rocky. I persevere, get knocked down for a day, but get back up, and steadily keep fighting. I just set the timer and work regardless of my motivation level.

C. That's called grit.

M. Anyway, I'm going to kick his ***. He wants to compete. Game on!

C. Go on

M. So, I'm motivated to get into the best shape of my life.

C. Go on

M. I'm trying to lose weight and body fat. I put on about 15 pounds and want to miss this and get my body fat % to a lean level.

C. Great. How are you going to do this?

M. I'm going to start doing IF. I've tried this before, and it works for me.

C. Excellent

M. I'm going to emphasize plant-based and also focus on eating foods that support brain health.

C. Like

M. Green leafy vegetables, salmon, grass-fed beef. Lots of mixed salads. Organic eggs. Cauliflower. Broccoli. Berries.

C. Sounds healthy

M. Because I enjoy cooking, but hate cleaning I tend not to cook during the week. I make salads and stuff I can pop in the microwave.

C. Go on

M. So, today I'm going to meal prep. I'm going to prepare meals that I can store and reheat during the week.

C. Excellent. What else are you going to do?

M. I'm going to work out more intensely and drink more water. I like doing strength training but don't like doing cardio. However, I realize that for my overall health, I need to do a few cardio sessions per week.

C. What's gotten in your way before and what are you going to do to prevent or minimize this from happening again?

M. Good question. Poor sleep. Working nonstop. These are the primary obstacles.

C. Okay. Anything else you want to talk about?

M. I'm good for now.

C. Can I make a suggestion?

M. Sure

C. I think you're watching too much TV. You have it on all day while you work. I don't think that's good for your brain health.

M. That's a fair observation and good advice. I think I’ll start scheduling what I’m going to watch.

C. Last question. If you had Thursday night to do all over again, what would you have done differently?

M. That’s the night I did not sleep at all because I was so upset about MG.

C. So, in retrospect, what could you have done differently?

M. As I recall, I took a hot shower and followed a pretty good pre-sleep routine. But I watched TV all night and possibly all day. I would have stopped watching TV, put on classical music, done some deep breathing, and, most importantly, I would have journaled in my paper journal. I would have listened to positive psychology content.

C. Good. Want my advice on how to make today a great day?

M. Of course

C. Do this:
- Do IF + plant based keto + meal prep
- Take care of finance stuff so this stops weighing on you
- Go through each envelope and take action
- Do a tough DG workout
- Listen to upbeat music or advice content while you cook
- Catch up on your Pocket reading
- Practice critical thinking writing
- Have a LK and STD mindset
- Create and listen to an encouraging mantra

M. That’s great advice. Thanks! Will let you know how it goes.

C. Great. Feel better?

M. Yep. Thanks again!

C. You got it.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. I’m finding that I’m holding onto this anger more than I would like

C. Tell me more

M. I have all sorts of emotions I’m dealing with

C. Anger?

M. Yes

C. Expand. Just get everything out

M. Okay. So, seeing the picture he posted about this project he’s doing made me feel bad

C. Why is that you think?

M. It bothered me that he again was trying to make himself the center of attention

C. What else?

M. It made me envious that he got a like from someone we work with

C. Why did this bother you?

M. It made me feel inferior and frustrated

C. Go on

M. I think it bothered me because of what he did earlier in the day in terms of butting into my meeting.

C. Let’s shift your thinking for a moment, okay?

M. Okay

C. Imagine that you get PM and SDPM listed on A/X + you complete the PAPB and include it with PM and SDPM + you sign with ST and then you list this on your profile + you get FC to do BD

M. Go on

C. When this happens you can tell him that you’re now officially part of ST and that this will make it easier to open doors than MLP because of the power of ST. Take a crack at what you might be able to say.

M. Okay. I could say:

“Hey, just expanded my relationship with ST to help them build their CP. I’m pretty excited about this because from a BD perspective it’s so great to be able to have ST in my signature and be able to say that we work with ____ like ____, ____, and ____.

AND also have a customer who wants to be a partner and will devote BD resources to PB. They’re also part of SF.

AND we are now listed on A/X with two products.

So, very excited about all of this. Main focus is building p——. Finally have not just one great product but four: PM + SDPM + PAPB + SPM and incredible partners and the ST name, so very, very excited. This will allow me to approach any account, PE or BC firm. I’m also hiring a person to help me deploy the PBS.”

C. How did that feel?

M. F’ing great!

C. Great. You can also imagine him being like a foot tall dressed in a fur coat and a purse.

M. That’s funny

C. Second to none! Time to compete! Stand strong! Assertive!

M. Got it!

C. Did this help?

M. Absolutely! Thanks!

C. My pleasure

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Hi. Desperately need to decompress

C. Go for it. What’s on your mind?

M. I’m drained. Feeling very fatigued. I’ve been working nonstop for weeks.

C. Go on

M. I’ve been working on the product for two days straight. Lots of attention to detail. My brain is fried. The more work I do, the more work I need to do.

C. Go on

M. I completed a couple of key parts, but now have more to do based on this work. All told, it’s good and I’m very happy with how the product is coming along, but I’m drained.

C. What’s next?

M. Well, I’m taking care of a key issue that has been nagging at me for close to 9 months.

C. What’s that?

M. I’m finally getting a “new” car. Our current car is trashed and I finally found a new one that I can afford. It’s a used car, but looks like new, and I got a great deal.

C. That’s exciting

M. Yes, it really is. I’m going to pick it up this afternoon. I think this is going to be great for my mental health because as I previously explained I’ve been feeling trapped. Like I said before, I was ashamed to drive around in this piece of ****, and afraid to drive it any “long” distance because the motor is on its last legs.

C. So, this will be a big relief

M. Definitely. I feel like I’m entering a whole new chapter in my life and I’m excited about it. I signed the agreement with ____ just a few minutes ago, so that’s also a big relief.

C. That’s great. Congratulations.

M. Thanks, but I still have work to do to get the product listed and ready for launch. But, I’m getting there. Slowly, but surely, I’m getting there.

C. What else do you need to do?

M. Here’s the list
- Complete business plan for SDPM
- Complete updating FCB record
- Update demo script
- Be able to demo L to O conversion - waiting on M for this
- Update PM AP messaging
- Create SDPM messaging
- Update and add UFC slide
- Simplify SPM PB
- Finish PAPB
- Update book
- Get bookkeeper to do 2020 financials
- Work on ARPB
- Work on FCPB
- Work on CPB
- Follow up OW

C. That is a lot. My advice is that you pace yourself. I know this is easier said than done because all of this work is important for your launch, but time block and just keep whittling away at it like you have been.

M. I will. I made a doctors appointment for next Tuesday to discuss my sleep and fatigue issues. I’ll get to bed early tonight.

C. Okay. Sounds, like overall, things are much better

M. They are. I had a good meeting with AR earlier this week. I invited M to attend. He was a little distant when we first got on the call before the client jumped on.

C. Really?

M. Yes, but f*** him. I’m done playing second fiddle to him and took lead role on the call. I can tell this bothered him because he craves being the center of attention. He’s not keeping me appraised of what’s going on with PW. Had to pry it out of him.

C. Really?

M. He’s been in contact but didn’t tell me until I asked. He could have pinged me after he got feedback, but didn’t. I took advantage of our speaking to ask, “Oh, BTW, any news from PW?” He updated me and seems like the project is still alive, but have no new news. I’ll ping him next week.

C. Okay

M. I came up with a funny nickname for him in Spanish, which helps me to not act like I’m inferior or dependent when I deal with him. I’m sure we’ll be fine longer term. I’ll be kind moving forward because there is a lot about him I like and admire, and I do consider him a friend, so want to be in good standing for both our sakes, but am making every effort possible to not have to be dependent on him for business.

C. Makes sense. What’s next?

M. I’m going to head out in a bit. I have to pick up a prescription, go to the bank to deposit a check and get a cashiers check for the car, then I’m going to go buy and pick up the new car. Then I’m going to head back home, go grocery shopping, and chill the rest of the evening. I’ll plan out tomorrow and Saturday and Monday, but then I’ll chill.

C. Sounds good. Did this help?

M. Big time. All this stuff has been circling in my head for days, so super helpful to get my thoughts and feelings on paper and have a conversation about this.

C. Great. Glad to hear it. And happy to hear you’re making strong progress on a number of fronts.

M. Thanks so much. Me too.

C. Okay. Take care.

M. You too.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Need to vent

C. Go for it. What’s on your mind?

M. I’m feeling like a complete loser. I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m tired/sleepy when I wake up, tired/sleepy during the day, and tired/sleep when I go to bed. Fortunately, I at least have gotten some sleep the last few nights. I’m on edge and feeling depressed. I’m tired of being tired. I have a doctor appointment on Wednesday, but that seems like an eternity.

C. I’m sorry to hear this. What do you think is prompting this or exacerbating the matter?

M. Let me just vent. So, for one, I’m down because I wake up so early and can’t fall back asleep, so this aggravates me and I start the day in a foul mood. I wanted to get a bunch of stuff done the last few days and today, but I have zero energy, which makes me feel like a loser because I think I should be tough enough to push through this. It feels like I have a vice on my head. It’s like I just want to sleep, but can’t.

C. Go on

M. So, I woke up around 5. Fell asleep around 11:30. So, that’s about 5 1/2 hours.

C. Go on

M. It’s been like this the last 3 nights, which is better than the two previous nights when I got like maybe one hour sleep.

C. Go on

M. I’m walking around like a zombie. I want to have high energy, but I’m just beat and feeling really frustrated about this.

C. Go on

M. I’m okay when I sleep well. If I get a decent night sleep, I’m okay. But, now because I sleep so poorly I don’t look forward to the morning because I know I’m going to wake up drained. It’s a terrible feeling.

C. Go on

M. Yesterday we went out of town and had a “nice” time. I put “nice” in quotes because even though I really enjoyed being with N, I still felt like I was operating at 60%. While we were there, I took a few online depression and anxiety tests and scored high on both.

C. What’s gnawing at you?

M. A bunch of stuff. I’m frustrated that we haven’t heard back from PW. I would feel 100x better if I knew we had this project because it would give me room to launch PM without worrying about $.

C. You spoke with G today, right?

M. Yep

C. Now I know you guys haven’t heard back from A

M. That’s right. G emailed her a week ago and has not heard back.

C. But, G did not seem to worked up about that, right?

M. Right

C. Why is that?

M. He made the point that it’s the end of the year for PW, so they’re swamped.

C. If I recall, they already have the agreement, right?

M. Yes

C. So, if I’m not mistaken, G presented to A and her boss and they both liked what they saw, right?

M. Yes

C. And PW is doing very well, so budget is not an issue, right?

M. They are doing well and have $, plus they know have the project fee, and are VERY happy with the work we have done to date.

C. I know you’d like to have an answer by now, but my sense is that because it’s the end of their period this will get approved but not until August. Does that seem realistic?

M. Yes. You’re right that they love us and the quality of our work. We’ve been working with them for over a year. It does piss me off that A did not respond to G’s email, but fortunately they’re doing well, they know us, they said they want to do the project, and they have not balked at our quote.

C. Like I said, I know it’s hard that you don’t have a definitive response yet, but all indicators are very positive. I would assume that it WILL happen. The odds are more in your favor than against you, wouldn’t you say?

M. That’s a fair point. Thanks for helping me put this in perspective.

C. What else?

M. F’ing Comcast. Our internet is down. The download speed is like 1 MPs. F’ing pisses me off. I’ve had to make something like 5 calls and they’re supposed to call me back. It’s so f’ing frustrating to deal with them. It’s like this every single time. It’s also affecting N. Fortunately, I can use ATT on my iPad otherwise I’d have zero connection. And the phone isn’t working either. F***!

C. Sounds like a rough day. You’re already feeling like crap and then you have to deal with this. That can be very frustrating. My advice is that you take some time right now to chill.

M. It’s also so f’ing cold that I have no desire to go outside.

C. Listen to the audiobook about sleep and close your eyes for a bit.

M. Okay. Thanks for listening and the advice.

C. Sure. Did this help?

M. Yes. I’m still tired but it was helpful to get this stuff out of my system.

C. Okay. Take care. Let’s talk later.

M. Okay. Thanks again.

C. You bet.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Need to decompress

C. Go for it. What’s on your mind?

M. Feeling a bit better today. Feeling a bit more energized.

C. That’s great to hear

M. Slept better

C. Excellent

M. I also did a very good job on my diet and I even did a short strength training workout.

C. That’s very good. Way to go.

M. Thanks.

C. What else is on your mind?

M. I have been procrastinating work the last week or so because I’ve been so fatigued.

C. Go on

M. Today, I finally worked on a key project

C. That’s good to hear

M. I spent the better part of the morning working on this

C. Good. How did it go?

M. I made good progress, but it’s another one of those projects that the more you do the more you need to do. Plus, it takes a lot of attention to detail and a high level of concentration.

C. Go on

M. While I enjoy working on this and I have expertise, it’s a bit stressful

C. Why is that?

M. Because it’s very time consuming and I’m a perfectionist.

C. Want my advice?

M. Please

C. Just nibble at it. You made good progress this morning. My advice is that you get out of the house, drive to the spot, and pencil out what else needs to get done. But, first make lunch. You’re lack of eating could be negatively impacting your energy level. Go make a healthy salad and we can continue the conversation later.

M. Okay. Thanks.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS + OPTIMIZE

M. Hi. Need to decompress and get some advice on what to do next.

C. Sure. What’s on your mind?

M. Spent the morning working on a bunch of personal and business tasks that I have been procrastinating, but that are not that impactful, so feel like I’m just being lazy and fearful about dealing with more important issues, so feel like a bit of a low life.

C. Let me ask you a few questions

M. Okay

C. Aren’t you, at least in a small way, relieved to have finally gotten this stuff off your plate?

M. I suppose

C. Did you learn anything useful from the webinars that you can use for the SPW or PAPB projects?

M. I think so.

C. So, not a complete of time and now you have these issues done. If you hadn’t done this stuff, it would be lingering in the back of your mind. Now you’ve cleared the deck and freed yourself up to focus on the bigger, more impactful issues.

M. Makes sense. It does feel good to have this stuff off my plate and it was beneficial to learn from industry experts, this will definitely help with the PAPB project because it will incorporate many of these ideas. Plus, I got the idea of creating Expert/Thought Leader-based PAPBs from listening to the SH webinar.

C. That’s a great idea. Plus, hats off to you for investing in “sharpening the saw.”

M. Thanks

C. A few more questions

M. Okay

C. What’s the mental hurdle that’s making the SPW project “scary”?

M. It seems like a huge endeavor and I’m afraid that there is still ton left to do, and that the more I do, the more new stuff I’ll find out I need to do.

C. Okay. If I’m not mistaken, didn’t you write out precisely what next steps you need to take.

M. Maybe

C. Please check

M. You’re right. I did.

C. Good How many items are remaining?

M. 6

C. What are they?

M. Here you go..

1. Review previous PB scorecard
2. Create PN scorecard aligned with PM
3. Add “Milestones”
4. Review “Learning Objectives” for WS
5. Add PM screenshots to deck
6. Create brochure

C. Which of these can you do while watching TV and simply take notes on? The idea is to figure which of these tasks you can do in a less intensive, more relaxing environment without having to be in front of the computer, so that when you get to the deck, it’s an easier process. Think of these set of tasks as brainstorming and planning activities that will set you up to more easily work on the document. Plus, you’ll have a better sense for what’s required to finish the project. Make sense?

M. It does. To answer your question, these are the tasks I can brainstorm in a paper notebook in front of the TV.

1. Review previous PB scoreboard - can look these up in email and DB
2. Create PN scorecard - can review DJ’s email and Excel then sketch
3. Add Milestones - can review PM and add these to scorecard
4. Review Learning Objectives - can review doc and sketch out slide ideas
5. Add PM screenshots - can decide which to show and how to display
6. Create brochure - once done above items can sketch outline of one pager

C. Well done. Is this helpful?

M. Big time! I was imagining having to eat a whole, massive elephant, instead of taking one bite at a time, so to speak.

C. Exactly. So, after our session I’d like you to plant yourself in front of the TV put on PBS and then start going after each item. See what you can do in the next hour or so, then comeback and update me. Okay?

M. Okay. Great plan.

C. Before you go, imagine telling MG the following:

You: “Hey MG, how you doing?”

MG: Good

You: “Great. I’m super busy.”

MG: “Oh yeah? What are you up to?”

You: “I don’t remember if I told you but I’m working with ST’s head of strategy to help create their C Practice. He used to head up M-H in NA and wants to create a competitive practice to their SS program.

MG. Oh

You: It’s a great opportunity. Making good progress but super time consuming.

MG. Oh

You: Yeah, I’m developing the program and the collateral. Plus, we’re going to make this available via PM.

MG. Oh

You: They’re very excited about it because it represents an opportunity to cross-sell their 100s of corporate accounts and gives their reps another offering to sell. Plus, we’re going to go after VCs and PE companies with this offering. The idea is to compete more effectively against WBD, M-H, and FM.

MG. Oh

You: Plus working on creating the PAPB. Pretty excited about this because for a fraction of the price that companies would pay for ST, they can equip their SPs with a customized PB that also includes proven and logical best practices and tools for each ___ of the SP integrated into SF.

MG. Oh

You: What are you up to?

C. How do you Ike that?

M. Love it!

C. Great. Ok, get after the SPW project brainstorm stuff, then come back later. Okay?

M. You got it!

C. Feel better?

M. Absolutely!! Thanks!!

C. You bet.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Morning. Need to decompress and put things in perspective.

C. Sure. What’s on your mind

M. Had a very productive day yesterday. I completed a key project.

C. Great. Go on.

M. I was pleased with the results.

C. Great. What else is on your mind?

M. I have a lot to do and feel a bit discombobulated.

C. How so?

M. I feel like I have so much to do and little time to do it. Tomorrow I need to go back to the dealer and have the car looked at. Plus, I need to go to the DMV and might have to leave the car for 5 days. We’re going away for a few days next week, so I want to have all my major projects completed by then.

C. I see. Go on.

M. I’m feeling a bit tired but not so much I can’t work today.

C. Want some advice?

M. Please

C. First, let’s get a handle on what needs to get done.

M. Okay

C. List what outcomes you’d like by the end of the day

M. Okay
- Work on SPDP project
- Write and send email to T
- Schedule other projects
- Review SL envelope
- Schedule business registration

C. Okay. my advice is that you get some rest for the next hour and then start working on the SPDP project per your plan. Also, draft your email to T. Do this then come back.

M. Okay. Thanks. Talk later.

C. You got it

[Skarlett44]

Very interesting posts, thanks. You are well done!

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. HI. Feeling discombobulated.

C. Tell me more. What’s on your mind?

M. I have a lot of business and personal tasks on my plate and it feels overwhelming.

C. Go on

M. We’ve already discussed the business actions that I have to do, but it’s the personal stuff that is getting on my nerves.

C. Go on. What are the tasks you’re worrying about?

M. Okay. I list them out in know specific order

- Need to go to DMV to get my license renewed. Not eligible to do it online. Means I have to plan on half a day at the f’ing DMV office

- Need to get my new car worked on. Dealer told me they’ll need 5-10 days to do the body work

- Need to go to jury end of August

- Trying to get Comcast to put my new modem in their system. I’ve called like 10x and have to go spend 5 minutes on their ******** voice menu system before I’m told it will be an hour wait and that they’ll call me back. To be fair, they do call but my f’ing phone doesn’t ring and their message goes straight to f’ing voicemail, which means I start all over again. Why in the f*** can’t they just have a f’ing human being answer the f’ing phone and solve my issue in one f’ing call? It’s costing me money because I added my own modem.

- Have to go to f’ing Comcast store to return my old modem and cable box

- I’d like to get a new phone because our phones are old - the glass cover on mine is cracked - plus I’m tired of spending so much money with AT&T

C. Okay. Anything else?

M. Those are the major ones. The problem is that I also have a lot of big business tasks.

C. Okay. Let me throw out some ideas.

M. Okay

C. I suggest you go to the Comcast store to return the modem and cable box and see if they can take care of registering your modem. Try the link they sent you to see if that works. Do this on Saturday.

M. Okay

C. Monday morning go to the DMV. Just bite the bullet and go. Your license expired, so you have no other option since you can’t do it online. Take some work stuff with you that you can work on while you wait, so it’s not a complete waste of time.

M. Okay

C. Think of it this way. Do what I suggested and you’ll have these two headaches off your plate. Use tomorrow to work on your business projects.

M. Okay . That’s reasonable.

C. These are pain in the *** tasks we all have to do from time to time. I understand how it feels overwhelming because you also have a lot of big business projects to complete and that you want to get this all done by Thursday before you leave out of town.

M. Okay. You’re right. I think I was overly sensitive because I spent all day on car stuff and f’ing Comcast, but I’ll just do it and make the best of it.

C. Good. Was that helpful?

M. Yes, definitely. I needed to vent. Thanks for the advice. I’ll take it.

C. You bet.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Need to vent and decompress

C. Sure. What’s up?

M. I had to deal with two hassles this morning that are really bothering me

C. Tell me

M. First, I found out that an account that I thought had been settled would no longer show up on my credit report. I had to look through a bunch of bank statements, which I find unnerving. Always gets me rattled.

C. Go on

M. This is significantly hurting my credit score. It’s not showing in one report, but is in another. 100 point difference. Very frustrating. Plus, I had the firm I used look into it. Feel like I wasted their time.

C. So, what are you going to do next?

M. The current program is to make monthly payments, which I’m doing but they’re not reporting, which is frustrating because I thought once we settled and got on the program that this would positively affect my credit score.

C. Go on

M. Well I’m not planning on taking out any loans or credit cards that will impact my score, so I’ll keep making the monthly payments. At least, I now know that I can raise my score by over 100 points once I payoff the remaining balance.

C. Yeah, it doesn’t make sense to make a large payment right now because you got a no interest payment program. Keep making the payments the next several months and finalize payment when you have more funds.

M. Makes sense. Had another issue yesterday. N mistakenly used an old account so I had to call CS to correct the issue. I always get tense around money issues.

C. My advice is to continue to watch your spending. I’d also suggest you stop using US for A payments. Simplify your financial life.

M. That’s good advice. I’ve been meaning to do that. All I have to is switch A from US to CS. I will do this the next time I place an order. I’m having my bookkeeper update my statements.

C. What was the other issue?

M. I needed to activate my new modem with f’ing Comcast. I found a way to do this online and now it’s taken care of.

C. Good. At least, you now have this off your plate.

M. I had to spend close to three hours dealing with this BS.

C. Well, you just got two big things off your plate.

M. Just found out the DMV is open on Saturday, so I’ll be there at 730am tomorrow to get that out of the way and then I’ll go to X store afterwards to return the old modem and cable boxes.

C. Good. What else is top of mind?

M. Want to get the SDPM AX plan taken care of. I also want to get a new phone because mine is broken.

C. Okay check TM out. They might have good deals and you might be able to do all this online.

M. Will do

C. Did this help?

M. Surprisingly, yes. It amazes me how helpful it is for me to use this venting exercise to help me calm down.

C. It’s not good for the brain to have all these negative and highly emotional thoughts racing through your mind. So, venting and journaling is a proven and effective stress management and mental health management technique. Keep it up. I appreciate your resilience.

M. Thanks. Appreciate that. Couldn’t do it without you!

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Need to decompress

C. Go for it. What’s up?

M. I woke up super angry today

C. Why is that? What’s bothering you?

M. I’m pissed at DT. I’m tired of all the BS and posturing. I can’t stand the m*****.

C. What else is bothering you?

M. I’m pissed that I got tricked into spending close to $550 on a subscription I only meant to spend $47 on. I tried to cancel online before the order was placed but I just checked my account and wasn’t able to. So, now I need to call them tomorrow morning and cancel the order.

C. I know this is a hassle and I can definitely see why this would upset you. For one, it’s a lot of money and, secondly, you felt like they deceived you into doing this.

M. And I’m pissed at myself for falling for the bait. The way they set up their web payment process made it seem like you were just agreeing to the $47 fee but it turns out it was for a lifetime membership which is not what I wanted.

C. Okay, so you noted the number to call. Call them in the morning. They seem like a reputable outfit. This is definitely a correctable problem, don’t you think?

M. I suppose, but I’m pissed I made the mistake to begin with

C. Look at it this way, in less than 24 hours this issue will be resolved.

M. Okay. That helps.

C. We all make mistakes and, fortunately, this one can be fixed with one call. What else?

M. I’m pissed that the BTD is not an overnight fix and that it’s not clear if the BB are supposed to be heard or not. It worked the first night. I think I’m mostly pissed because I still woke up feeling tense despite all the stuff I’m doing and using to sleep better.

C. Go on

M. To be fair, I am sleeping better. I was in a good mood yesterday because I slept well but in a foul mood this morning.

C. What else?

M. I’m also pissed because I’m being indecisive as to whether or not I should continue using N. The way I’ve been working with him is becoming too time consuming and I now have other outlets for support including PC and CM.

C. This morning you started to set up weekly goals, which is I think a better and more useful way to work with him. It is helpful to have an accountability partner. Start working with him in this way: set weekly goals and limit your daily updates to communicating whether you’re on track or not. I suggest you stop writing the Magna Carta every day. Do this for the next couple of weeks.

M. Okay. That’s good advice.

C. What else?

M. The issue that is constantly lingering is around finances.

C. Go on

M. Put it this way. I would feel a lot better if we had the PN project signed. It’s frustrating that we haven’t heard anything from A.

C. Go on

M. I am actually feeling very good about PM.

C. Oh yeah? Tell me more

M. I feel great about the new PB design for AR. I think this was a major breakthrough in fact.

C. That’s great. Why do you say this?

M. Because it truly represents GS better than any other solution.

C. That’s great to hear

M. I genuinely believe PM is finally where I’ve always inspired for it to be. It looks fantastic inside of SFL.

C. Here’s my advice. You ready?

M. I’m all ears

C. Soldier the f*** on. I genuinely understand why all these little issues - the mistake + indecision + BT question - would irritate you. We now have a game plan to deal with them, which helps. As it relates to PM, soldier the f*** on! Foot on the f’ing _____!

M. Go on

C. Keep after it! Because you have persevered you were able to realize this breakthrough. Plus, don’t forget about the S partnership. You’re also making great strides here again because of your perseverance. I don’t think you give yourself nearly enough credit for your mental toughness and work ethic. You continue to find a way to get up off the mat and fight on. You don’t give up. Yeah, it’s hard as f*** a lot of the time. No f’ing doubt about it, but somehow you have persevered to the point where you just made this major breakthrough. That’s exciting.

M. Thanks for the encouraging words and tough love advice. I needed that.

C. Good. Now go have an enjoyable rest of the day with BLCC. Sound good?

M. Definitely

C. Was this helpful?

M. Big time

C. Feel better

M. 100%! Thanks so much.

C. You got it. Talk later.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Have some stuff on my mind. Need to decompress.

C. Let’s hear it. What’s on your mind?

M. Thank God, things are getting better, but I’m still feeling a bit frazzled

C. Go on

M. Didn’t sleep great. More specifically, I went to bed close to 12:30 and it took me a long time to fall asleep.

C. What happened?

M. We’re staying at a hotel and watched TV until really late. N needs it on to fall asleep. I did a poor job with my pre-sleep routine. I didn’t take a hot shower, which normally helps me to fall asleep. The room was hot. And I went to be nervous about not being able to fall asleep.

C. Okay, what else?

M. Like I said things are getting a lot better, but I was/am feeling overwhelmed. I have a lot on my plate, both personal and professional.

C. Go on

M. Plus, I got this email threatening to take all my accounts. It frankly scared me. It turned out to be an email scam. I researched it and found out it’s ********. Still pissed me off that there are f’ing a-holes in the world that do this and that people fall for it. F*** them!

C. Go on

M. Well I’m obviously a bit tired today, but I did take the time to go through my personal and business to do’s and plan out my game plan for Monday and the rest of next week.

C. Did this help?

M. It did. It was useful to write this out and update my calendar. I obviously still have a lot to do, but I now at least have a better handle around how I’m going to get it done.

C. Great

M. I’m feeling a bit discombobulated because I’m out of the house and feeling tired.

C. What else?

M. Well, I’m pissed at f’ing M because he never f’ing calls me. F*** him!

C. Do you want my advice on what to do about this?

M. Please

C. F*** him. In other words, use this anger to drive you to work hard on yourself and your business. No more second fiddle. Put your foot on his f’ing throat. Channel your intensity in a positive way. Having said this, continue to lean into kindness whenever you interact with him. You no longer need to depend on him. If you work on a project together, which is still very possible and good for both of you, be kind AND assertive. Don’t let him treat you like his subordinate. You can do this is a positive manner and acting with complete confidence in yourself. Make sense?

M. It does. It’s helpful to vent here and to direct the anger in a positive way while not being consumed by it. So, thanks for the advice.

C. What else?

M. Well, the other thing that bugged me was that I ate too much “healthy” food last night before going to bed.

C. Go on

M. I ate something like 4 protein bars plus a bag of low carb chips. So, while these were on my permitted list of foods, they’re processed foods and combined to over 1000 calories. I ate these because I was stressed.

C. It’s okay. It happens. Don’t make it worse by beating yourself up about it. Tonight, just follow your evening routine, and, make sure to take a hot shower. Be smart about your media consumption. Try not to overwhelm your brain with so much digital content. Mellow out before bed. Do your gratitude list. Think kind thoughts about CC. Drink water. Stop eating after 8 pm, 9 at the latest. One more thing.

M. Yes?

C. Please stop checking email after 5pm. I know this is hard, but do this instead: pray. Do your “Our Father’s” and “Hail Mary’s” along with your other prayers. Pray for a relaxed mind. Do loving-kindness prayer. Calm your heart and mind. Also, don’t watch or read the news after 8pm. Just by glancing a few websites, you’ll know what’s going on. The news angers you. You know what’s going to be said. The news is meant to scare you. Everybody is just criticizing each other. Your brain doesn’t need to hear all of this criticism or see images that trigger anger.

M. Makes sense

C. Before you do anything, you might want to consider asking yourself, “Is this good for my brain or bad for my brain?”. You’ve battled depression and anxiety for a long time, it’s time to start be kinder and nurturing to your brain, heart, and spirit. Make sense?

M. It totally does. I feel like in some ways I’m addicted to watching the news and political commentary.

C. I get it. It’s a distraction and in many ways very interesting, but try to find other ways to focus your time, emotions, and energy.

M. Got it. Definitely makes sense.

C. Good. Was this helpful?

M. Yes, big time. Thanks so much. I feel a lot better now.

C. Great. Take care and we’ll talk later.

M. Thanks again.

C. You bet.

[Noexcuses2020]

DECOMPRESS

M. Hi. Need to decompress

C. Sure. What’s up? What’s on your mind?

M. I’m angry

C. Why?

M. I didn’t get much done and I stayed up late binge watching Netflix and it took me a long time to fall asleep because I was tense. I ended up having to get out of bed at around 2am to write my to do list, journal what was on my mind, and tidy up the kitchen. Fortunately, I then was able to fall back asleep.

C. Okay. So, let me get this right. You’re angry because you felt you didn’t get as much done yesterday as you would have liked and because you didn’t follow your pre-sleep routine, right? Anything else?

M. Yeah, that’s right. I’m also angry because I ate late and weighed more than I wanted to. I have been working out and was making progress but because I ate too many protein bars late I weighed a lot more than I wanted to. It felt like because of my lack of discipline I erased all the weight and fat loss progress I had made.

C. Okay. I can understand how this might be disappointing. Given this, what would you like to do differently?

M. I’d like to do a better job of drinking more water. I hardly drank any water yesterday. I think this helps with minimizing hunger late night. I also can chew gum. And, maybe have some tea or broth. I’m trying to do IF, so need to stop eating after 8 pm.

C. So, in other words, you’d like to be more consistent about following your evening routine, right?

M. Yes, especially on the weekends. I started watching a really good new series on Netflix and ended not getting to bed after midnight on Friday and Saturday.

C. Okay, so what might you do different moving forward?

M. I could find out how many episodes the series is and allocate my watching over several days and nights. I could also limit my watching from 7 to 10, and then put on some chill music and start my evening routine.

C. I think this is a very good idea. You have fortunately been sleeping a lot better this week and you overall did a good job with pre-sleep during the week. I agree it’s important to maintain that consistency over the weekend. Having said that, I also don’t think you need to beat yourself up over this.

M. Go on

C. Regarding the weight, keep doing your workouts. Plan out out your meals. Drink more water. Chew gum. Do deep breathing and stretching and maybe journal and update your to do list at around 8pm to set this as the transition point to start your fast and wind down.

M. I like that idea. I also like tidying up. I can change into my pajamas and maybe even take a warm shower around 9.

C. Good. Very good. Let’s plan on doing that tonight. Regarding the diet, stick to K today. Have two meals with lots of veggies, healthy fats, and fiber. Also, plan on drinking 100 ounces of water.

M. Okay will do.

C. I want to explore your anger around not getting much done yesterday.

M. I didn’t do any work yesterday.

C. Well you did work all week. I’m not saying that maybe you could have not gotten some work done yesterday but it was Saturday and there’s nothing wrong with taking a break. You did do another very strong workout to keep your streak going.

M. Yes, that’s true. I pushed myself to do this because I wanted to keep my streak going.

C. If you had to do yesterday all over again, what would you have done differently?

M. Well, I didn’t do my daily planning in the morning. I’m finding this is a very helpful way to make me more intentional about what I want and need to get done in terms of personal, business, and wellness actions. This would have helped me, for example, to have been more conscious about drinking water. Overall, I ate very healthy yesterday. I didn’t eat any junk food. Instead, I had lots of protein with salad. The problem was the late night eating of the protein bars that while low carb and high protein I ate only because I was anxious.

C. It’s great you understand this. Tell me more about the anxiety about work stuff.

M. I just feel overwhelmed sometimes. The DPO project is taking a lot longer than I anticipated and I still haven’t completed the SPM project. I’ve been putting that off for weeks.

C. Let me interrupt. You haven’t put it off. You haven’t procrastinated. It’s just that the DPO project has taken a lot longer. You’ve been putting in great effort on that project. That’s a big difference. It’s not like you’re slacking off TV or not working.

M. I guess, but on Thursday I mostly did personal stuff.

C. Yeah, you completely cleaned the house. You threw out a bunch of stuff and bought some storage items. The house looked great at the end of the day, right?

M. Yes, it did.

C. Decluttering the house helped declutter your mind, so this was very good use of your time.

M. It did feel good to have our home look clean and neat.

C. Want some advice on what to do today and tomorrow?

M. Please!

C. First, definitely, do your action planning this morning. I’d allocate a couple of hours to work on the DPO project. It’s mostly writing which you enjoy doing.

M. Okay

C. Do this this afternoon after you and N come back from eating lunch. Make sure to do something together today outside of the house.

M. Okay. Where should I work?

C. If you want to get out of the house, you can either do it while you’re out with N. Or you can do it in the kitchen while listening to some chill tunes. Or you can go to the vista point and work in your car.

M. All good options. What else?

C. Do your “Great Start” morning routine. Take a shower. Drink lots of water first thing. Then do your planning.

M. What about the ACI project?

C. My suggestion is that you dedicate 30-60 minutes to work on this today after you work on the DPO project. You can do this with the TV on in the background. I’d also email MM and DJ today. Also go to the ATM. Does this seem reasonable and doable?

M. Yes, it does.

C. Use tomorrow morning to work on the DPO and ACI projects. Have your meeting at noon as scheduled. Do your workout, then bring in your car to the shop. Make car rental arrangements today. Make sense?

M. Yes, it definitely does.

C. Was this helpful?

M. Very! Thanks so much. I now have a plan to get back on track.

C. Great. Have a great and loving day.

M. Thanks. You too.