[jbug]

I have a new neighbor. She is 19 and is like a mini-me. I see so much of myself in her its painful. We share a compulsion and I got to help in her time of need but then got seriously triggered and freaked out. I didnt freak in front of her I waited til she went home and had to email my T.

My T and I talked about the issues that have already been addressed and I fear others will come too its just a matter of time. My T tells me to distance myself from her or she could be the thing that tips me over the edge and into the hospital. I am trying so hard but right now it is very hard.

I have so much of my own stuff to deal with I don't know how or even if I should try to help this girl. I am a fixer and I want to fix her problems and then maybe just maybe I'll be able to make it work in the end too.

Anyway I'm sure this doesn't make since cuz I took my meds and they are kicking in and I have racing running thoughts so will see how long this takes.

Jbug

[Rhapsody]

((( HUGS ))) -

jBug I am sorry that you are being triggered..... but have you thought about looking at this triggering as an opportunity to heal another part of your self that was wounded instead of a sentence of death to your mental being? - I ask for I have often found that when I am triggered that it is a sign that I am ready to heal yet another wound that lies left alone inside of me.

[DePressMe]

jbug, helping people learn to "fix" themselves is important...but, not at the expense of your own sanity. You need to help yourself first.

I am not sure how to say this...but fixing other people means they will grow dependent on others to fix them...the best thing you can do is lead by example. Help her by showing her how strong you are...show her how a person takes care of themselves. Teach her that helping herself is the most important thing she can learn to do. Maybe that means you need to back off for awhile and regroup.

I agree, this has opened the door to some healing...

[Perna]

It's hard when we so identify with other people that we lose sight of our own boundaries. I would take your T's advice and leave this particularly girl alone for the moment, until you are more centered in yourself and can be sure of a bit of detachment when with her. I think it is very exciting to imagine getting ourselves fixed as we help another with the same problems but there are too many unknowns; if we could have fixed ourselves before, we would have done it before? And things that don't fit the pattern could come up while we're working and swamp us as your T says.

It can end up being very close to a folie a deux? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Folie_%C3%A0_deux