Just some of my feelings...

Am I that bad of a person...that people want me gone? I mean, I'm trying so hard not to be a screw up. Nobody knows how hard I am trying to impress people. To make them not worry about me. I'm trying so hard not to fall apart. I know it's not true, but I feel like the whole world is against me.
I just want things to get better.

Mandazzle you shouldn't worry about what other people think. In the end you are the only one who can make you happy. No other person's opinion of you matters 1/2 as much as you opinion of your self. (((((hugs))))) my dear mandazzle. Feel free to PM me if you get down.

(((Mandazzle)))
You sound similar to me and I think our answer is in your post..."Nobody knows how hard I am trying ... to make them not worry about me...to not fall apart...to not screw up".

I push people away because I don't want them to worry, I don't want to burden them with my issues, I try to be perfect and not show just how bad I feel so they believe everything is going well.

Yet I wonder why am I so lonely, why don't people want to be with me. Life is going on all around us yet we are not a part of it.

The answer, as much as we may not like it, is to reach out to people rather than wait for them to come to us. We have to learn to ask and accept help from others.

these are for you.....

for all the hurt and pain you are in.

I understand, yet all I can do is offer you a

*hugs*

Mandazle,

You might be surprised at how supportive friends and family can be if you can let them in and see how you're feeling - you don't have to suffer your feelings alone. I know it's scary and can feel vulnerable, but it's better than isolating yourself.

--splitimage

(((Hugs)))) I'm sorry that you feel (or someone said) they want you gone. Mandazzle, I think anyone who has been here any real length of time will run into another member that may say or act that way. We can't possibly agree with everyone 100%. But still, that doesn't warrant being told such a thing.

Yes, you have to dismiss the idea. Remember, there are all kinds of people here, suffering with all sorts of issues.

I think you have improved since you first came here, and though there was a rough patch more recently, I can see you are working at doing well. Do good self care on this, and don't give it any more of your energy, ok?

TC!

(((((((Everyone)))))))
Thanks for all the positive posts, I needed that.