Have you ever actually wanted to kill someone who hurt you ?

Werewoman · Jul 28, 2022, 06:05 PM

I know it's wrong to feel this way but damnit how much is one person supposed to endure?

My dad moved out but had a package sent to my house. Was it an accident or was he trying to manipulate me into bringing it to him?

I don't know but it really triggered me and then this morning I did a ketamine infusion and freaked out. The nurse called it a k-hole.

I am 60. My monstrous parents are 80 and 85. I just want them dead.

downandlonely · Jul 28, 2022, 06:58 PM

I've wished people did. I haven't thought of being violent myself, but have wished them dead. My brother in particular.

Aviza · Jul 28, 2022, 07:48 PM

I've wished people dead, had a plan but no gun in possession so it didn't happen. And I'm glad I didn't but they moved on and are living happily which bites me in butt sometimes.

Travelinglady · Jul 28, 2022, 09:05 PM

At one point I threatened to kill my mother.

unaluna · Jul 29, 2022, 05:53 AM

I told my t that when i first asked for his "help", this is what i meant.

Jul 29, 2022, 08:09 AM

I wouldn't act on it but I imagine my dad dropping dead.

Possible trigger:

years ago I've wanted to kill myself

*Beth* · Jul 30, 2022, 04:48 PM

I wanted to kill my previous psychiatrist. I wouldn't actually have done it because I didn't want to go to prison, but. She was a vile, malicious human being who should not be working with people.

Jul 30, 2022, 05:16 PM

I'm a bit confused by this thread tbh: does it mean "want to and might act on it" or is it a figure of speech, like saying "raining cats and dogs"?

downandlonely · Jul 30, 2022, 05:29 PM

To me saying you might act on it means you would literally kill someone. Wanting someone dead without planning violence is different.

pachyderm · Jul 31, 2022, 01:21 PM

I don't see that the thought is unusual, if someone really did a job on you.

Mountaindewed · 03:47 PM

I made a bad joke in therapy in December 2018 about the ******* therapist I saw before that therapist and I almost got the cops called on me. I just meant it as a joke though I wasn't serious. I just wrote a review instead really bad mouthing her and calling her out and saying how many mental health proffesionals were disapointed in her severe unproffesionlism and that helped take the anger away.

downandlonely · Jul 31, 2022, 04:31 PM

Yes, I've written bad reviews of doctors. I find that helps and warns other potential patients too.

eskielover · Aug 02, 2022, 07:11 AM

Never wanted anyone dead but I was shocked at the peace I finally felt after my mom died. My dad had died 15 years before she did.

Would I feel more peace if my ex-H died? Probably not at this point as he has done all the damage he could do to me & I am paying lawyers trying to fix the damage. He is living the consequences of his choices since he no longer owns anything except debt....think he is getting what he deserves more while being alive

Werewoman · Aug 03, 2022, 07:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

I'm a bit confused by this thread tbh: does it mean "want to and might act on it" or is it a figure of speech, like saying "raining cats and dogs"?

Want to actually act on it but won't because it makes you a worse person than the one who hurt you.

Aug 03, 2022, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werewoman

Want to actually act on it but won't because it makes you a worse person than the one who hurt you.

plus i dont think you want to go to jail ..........

Werewoman · Aug 03, 2022, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

plus i dont think you want to go to jail ..........

There's that, too.

eskielover · Aug 03, 2022, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willowtigger

plus i dont think you want to go to jail ..........

I would think first deterant would be self-control, being in control of acting on emotions or urges.

Not wanting to go to jail is kind of a back up threat for those who may not have the self-control NOT TO ACT on their emotions or urges.

downandlonely · Aug 03, 2022, 08:37 PM

Yeah, it's not really the fear of jail for me. I don't want to hurt anyone, plus it wouldn't make me feel better if I did. Would be a lifelong sentence of guilt. No thanks!

NatalieJastrow · Aug 07, 2022, 04:01 PM

I have a friend who was abused as I was and she gets very upset when I wish my abuser death.

I wish it only I couldn't do it.

Since he is substantially older I know I will win this battle. He will die, I will get to establish his reputation, and hopefully dance on his grave.

Aug 08, 2022, 03:33 AM

absolutely.

I have quite the list of people actually

Aug 08, 2022, 03:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travelinglady

At one point I threatened to kill my mother.

mine's still living the life of luxury, despite what she did to me

I hate it so much

Mendingmysoul · Aug 08, 2022, 01:34 PM

I didn't wish death for my abuser.A simple death will be a non consequential liberation for her.I wished her to be disabled and to depend on me.I wanted to do my business in her potty mouth.Yep,the potty mouth it is.It did nothing but spill **** all the time.I wanted to put it back in her mouth while she lays helpless in a literal sense. ( a justice for what she did to her helpless, naive innocent child).Wouldn't it be ?

After wishing and imagining the scenario of doing potty in her mouth, I felt disgusted at myself.For having those kinds of thoughts about my abuser I resented myself.The guilt was immense. Now I don't have these thoughts of revenge anymore.I didn't forgive or forget,but don't feel immense resentment towards her either.

Aug 08, 2022, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mendingmysoul

I didn't wish death for my abuser.A simple death will be a non consequential liberation for her.I wished her to be disabled and to depend on me.I wanted to do my business in her potty mouth.Yep,the potty mouth it is.It did nothing but spill **** all the time.I wanted to put it back in her mouth while she lays helpless in a literal sense. ( a justice for what she did to her helpless, naive innocent child).Wouldn't it be ?

After wishing and imagining the scenario of doing potty in her mouth, I felt disgusted at myself.For having those kinds of thoughts about my abuser I resented myself.The guilt was immense. Now I don't have these thoughts of revenge anymore.I didn't forgive or forget,but don't feel immense resentment towards her either.

This is true - death means no further suffering

for some people in this world, them being in agony and reliant on the people they hurt, for the rest of their life, would be more like karma getting them back

thats if anyone believes in karma

Aviza · Aug 08, 2022, 06:19 PM

Death of my first husband meant I'd be a widow instead of divorced at 23 years old. That was hard pill to swallow. I wished him dead prayed for him to die, etc. At one point wanted to kill him.

Have Hope · Aug 11, 2022, 06:25 AM

I believe in the notion of Karma so I don't wish death upon those who have hurt me. Hurtful and bad people get their lessons in due time. I think the best way to handle it is to live your best life, to let go of the anger and rage you feel over any injustices and pain, and to move forward in life, finding things to make you feel happy and fulfilled. As they say, happiness is the best revenge.

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