[Jelzig65]

Hi, I’m interested in the mirror empath and why people can dislike them. I’m curious to know how the person in an interaction can detect the empath and therefore have an aversion to them.

I hope someone can help me find out. I’m an empath and I feel like I absorb people’s negative struggles just through their mannerism, vibe and facial expression. We get information about each other through mirror neurons mainly the face.

I can be in queue in a supermarket and this one in particular is outgoing, expressive, very social and happy but when they are finished with that person and then its me and my food to be processed, its like a very stony big wall, not a word to be said. I can feel resistance and fear. I am a regular and have encountered this particular person on many occasions.

With empath and interactive person, it’s like holding a mirror to the person and they may be masking. Trying hard to hide the real self. I just want to know how they can feel ill at ease with the empath if the empath is not disclosing. I’m now more confused.

I was looking for where this post fit, like in highly sensitive in the personality sub forum, but it didn’t exist.

I hope someone can shed the light for me. All the information i do see is what the empath is feeling in this interaction, how does the other person detect this, is it unconscious? That’s the part I want to know . I want to disguise my sensitivity and empathy.

Have a lovely day and thankyou

[Yaowen]

Wish I could be helpful to you but sadly I am at a loss here. I do hope your post is widely seen and read and that some members here with helpful insights will post good responses to your questions. Best to you!

[nonightowl]

I'm definitely empathetic and I can sense emotions in strangers too. Or I can sense where they are headed, such as the coffee shop. I was standing next to a woman, waiting to cross the street. I had a strong feeling she was going to Starbucks, and she did just that. Or I can sense the driver in the next lane is going to cut me off. And they do just that.

Another time I recognized an acquaintance from a distance in a parking lot. I could tell by her gait that she was agitated and in a hurry, heading towards the grocery store.

Some people are born with a greater number of mirror neutrons than others; I think this is us. I'm also highly sensitive. It's like I have built-in radar, and I don't just read facial expressions but body language or tone of voice. In a nutshell, I can pick up signals that sometimes I'd rather not be picking up. But it seems I can't control it, really.

I'm not sure if people can detect anything in me, but I pick up things from them. Just wanted to post that I believe I can relate, but like you I don't know how to stop it.

[Jelzig65]

Hi, Thanks for the reply. It’s good to know we’re not alone. I found good info on mysticalraven.com all about the mirror empath. I’m curious now as the empath if I am not disclosing or obvious in my empathy how the receiver possibly masking can have a sudden dislike of the empath. I thought I was being neutral. I do sense through posture and body language as well. It can be a lonely gig being empath, some people give a wide berth.

Have a lovely day

[eskielover]

This is just a thought....maybe if someone is outgoing, expressive, very social and happy with the previous person & not with you. Maybe they are mirroring that person's personality. Maybe just being yourself instead or mirroring someone else may be a way to really have people interact with who you really are.

I have found in checkout lines at the grocery when the checkout person seems rather grumpy I always engage them in good conversation & they are usually smiling & much happier than when they first started checking my groceries.

We need to engage, not mirror people if we want a quality interaction

[Nammu]

If you are really a mirror then they are seeing themselves and are unhappy with themselves it has nothing to do with you and is not about you

[RockyRoad007]

You need to stop absorbing other people's energy. It serves you no purpose. I am also an empath, but I no longer absorb other's energy. At least I try not to. If I do, it is for a short time, as I clear it out.
Do not be a mirror. Observe, do not absorb. You are not being yourself while you are being a mirror. That doesn't mean you don't have empathy, but always remain true to yourself.
I would be averse to someone mirroring me back to me. I want to see the person, not some imitation of me that they are mirroring back to me. Yuck!
Even if someone was mirroring back to me my most wonderful loving self, I wouldn't see them as genuine. Be Yourself.

[Jelzig65]

Originally Posted by RockyRoad007

You need to stop absorbing other people's energy. It serves you no purpose. I am also an empath, but I no longer absorb other's energy. At least I try not to. If I do, it is for a short time, as I clear it out.
Do not be a mirror. Observe, do not absorb. You are not being yourself while you are being a mirror. That doesn't mean you don't have empathy, but always remain true to yourself.
I would be averse to someone mirroring me back to me. I want to see the person, not some imitation of me that they are mirroring back to me. Yuck!
Even if someone was mirroring back to me my most wonderful loving self, I wouldn't see them as genuine. Be Yourself.

Thankyou for your support and experience. Can you share with me how to stop absorbing other peoples energy.? Is it like cutting a chord between them and me and saying your stuff not mine. Is that it? I’m open to how it worked for you.

Have a lovely day.

[RockyRoad007]

Cutting cords can definitely work.
There are so many ways, you simply have to find what works for you.
There are a lot of books on being an empath, and how to empower yourself. Check Amazon or other online bookstore and see what jumps out at you.
"Sensitive is the new strong" by Anita Moorjani looks fantastic. Haven't read it yet, but I've read a couple of her other books that I have loved and would recommend any of her books.

Books by Matt Kahn or Judith Orloff. I have never read any books by Judy Dyer, but her books are heavily promoted/advertised on Amazon (if you search for empath). I have to admit that has always turned me off a little, as a good book should stand on it's own without the heavy promotion that she and/or her publisher does. They might be worth checking out as she has a lot of them. I've just never been drawn to them.

One simple way to prevent yourself from taking on another's energy is to create a rose in your mind and put the rose between you and the other person. You could also place a big beautiful rose around you. If you ever feel the need for a fresh rose, blow that rose up and create a new one. By blowing up I mean just put it out there in front of you and watch it explode. That releases any stuck energy the rose may have accumulated. The rose will clear itself anyway, but blowing it up accelerates that process.
Just start the journey on empowering yourself and see where it takes you.

I wish you well.

Edited to add: Check out books on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It is very simple to do and clears out crap (feelings, emotions, emotional pain etc) that you no longer want to affect you negatively.

[mar dhea]

Originally Posted by eskielover

This is just a thought....maybe if someone is outgoing, expressive, very social and happy with the previous person & not with you. Maybe they are mirroring that person's personality. Maybe just being yourself instead or mirroring someone else may be a way to really have people interact with who you really are.

I have found in checkout lines at the grocery when the checkout person seems rather grumpy I always engage them in good conversation & they are usually smiling & much happier than when they first started checking my groceries.

We need to engage, not mirror people if we want a quality interaction

I do this too Eskie and find that engaging with even a few ordinary pleasantries more often than not can break the ice or crack open a stony silence. It's a good tactic to practise and gets one used to reading people better as well. Helps with esteem and confidence when you get a positive reaction.

Most times I find it works and it's a naturally empathic thing to do I think. A light joke, a compliment, an inquiry as to how their day is going...all that sort of stuff works and as one perseveres, the use of small talk to engage strangers naturally become easier. It's not always a cakewalk of course but def worth doing consistently. I hope that helps with the thread.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by mar dhea

I do this too Eskie and find that engaging with even a few ordinary pleasantries more often than not can break the ice or crack open a stony silence. It's a good tactic to practise and gets one used to reading people better as well. Helps with esteem and confidence when you get a positive reaction.

Most times I find it works and it's a naturally empathic thing to do I think. A light joke, a compliment, an inquiry as to how their day is going...all that sort of stuff works and as one perseveres, the use of small talk to engage strangers naturally become easier. It's not always a cakewalk of course but def worth doing consistently. I hope that helps with the thread.

Seems easier in the small town I moved to from Los Angeles. I kinda just did my thing out there but here I seem to be able to talk to anyone about anything & seeing things in a humorous light has brought me through so much to get to this point & seems to be what helps in engaging with others

[mar dhea]

Cities are definitely different. I remember my first time in a big city. I was 18 and from a pretty rural part of the map. Traditionally relaxed and friendly where everybody just said hello in passing whether they knew you or not. Kids adults seniors...everyone would at least say hi. Been that way for a couple of centuries+ really. A long time rural place that never did change much.

Well it didn't take me long to figure out hello and how ya doing wasn't the thing to do. Was glared at for a couple of weeks and I really didn't get it. My cousin [who had moved to this city a year before] finally said...yeah, you're not home now. They just don't do that around here. Well thanks for the prompt heads up on that Pete!

I remember it was all a bit depressing. An awakening to the bigger picture and a different, more sombre reality. Glad I was a kid when this happened. Was easier then to bounce back from life's bummers. Still, it took some time to adapt and get back to being more myself. Sticking to smaller towns/cities helped. For other reasons I do love visits to big cities. Amazing whirlwind of space and humanity. 2 weeks max however.

Pardon my detour from the topic.

[divine1966]

Just be yourself. If you don’t know these people you have no way of knowing if they mirror or they just have a face like that or they like one person and not the other person.

Some people have a certain kind of face “resting b…” face, doesn’t mean they are depressed or hate you. It’s also cultural and regional.

I usually chat with people everywhere but sometimes I might not. Not because I hate them or mirror something. My back started hurting or I am tired or just received unpleasant text. If these people are strangers, it’s not really important why they do what they do.

I recommend you just be yourself within norm of society, maintain civility so to speak

[Discombobulated]

I think store workers often have a ‘shield’ that they put up to help make their job easier. To come from their perspective, as I’m a store worker myself, it would be exhausting to connect continuously to every customer, so there will be a handful who there is more conversation with but those are regular customers who come in often. Most of the time we’re focusing on the processes of our jobs.

I agree with those who say we tend to mirror those in front of us, normally a cheery “good morning”. will elicit a response, or a casual comment.

[TishaBuv]

I’m not familiar with the term mirror empath. It’s interesting to learn about, thank you. Does it mean someone highly empathic who not only feels the emotions of others, but also takes on their moods?

Most all people have empathy. When people smile at someone, they generally smile back. The same goes for negative or neutral responses.

The clerk who is cheery with the prior customer and then stone faced and silent with you is a strange occurrence. Where I buy groceries, the clerk says to nearly everybody “Have you found everything you need today?”. There is always some greeting to each customer. I’ve never had one be silent and sullen, and I’m generally putting out a neutral mood while placing groceries on the conveyor belt, using a lot of energy unloading the cart.

You say you are a regular. Was there ever some bad interaction between this clerk and you that would cause them to not want to greet you?

[mote.of.soul]

Yeah, it's an interesting question all right Jelzig65. . And as someone who can definitely relate to what your perceptions seem to be telling you out there among people, the thing I'd like to offer is this: If having analysed it and analysed it, maybe month after month year after year, and all of your answers and 'conclusions' just trouble you further still maybe causing depression(?), then it's essentially a self made trap. And it can get very dark in this trap. And so for the sake of better mental health which is what it is about for me - just really try to forget about peoples body language, facial expressions, tone of voices etc, etc,, - l and let it go, to unburden yourself from being ensnared in a darkness perhaps? I hope not. You didn't mention anything like that. Just be bored in the queue or wherever, chillin in the supermarket, and just know everyone has their own lives and whatever perceptions, history, in their heads too. It is a freer place to be I have noticed. That was more a mental health tip, if needed. I actually really resonated with your post, thanks Jelzig65.

[Fuzzybear]

[Sophia23]

***Following Discussion*** My Reiki Master tells me I am a strong empath and that it is a gift. I am not sure if I feel that way most of my life not understanding boundaries kept me in a lot of vulnerable painful positions. Of course I consider it a gift, I am learning late to use it well.