[MuddyBoots]

Was just planning on resting, reading, doing some studying, but Fk therapy sucked (I think I just hate being told I “look good”).

I’m trying to read in the community room right now after some quick intense exercise and a cold shower, but I just can’t focus on anything but wanting out of my fking skin. I’m having such violent thoughts towards myself it is unbelievable.

I don’t know I can be safe tonight honestly, but I don’t know really how to (or that I want to) make sure I can.

[Blueberrybook]

Can you stay with someone tonight, your mom maybe?

[MuddyBoots]

hell no. I have to spend all next week sleeping in that fking bed I was raped multiple times in with like 20 stab wounds in it while listening to her erratic sleep apnea sounds and the cats waking everyone up between 2 and 4am and those fking "I like to make my truck as loud as possible and put a bunch of Trump flags on it with a big nut sack hanging from the hitch and drive back and forth down the road for an hour straight because my dk is so small there's no friction noises when I have intercourse and I need to compensate for that" neighbors while the apartment's undergoing construction. I'm not for another unnecessary night there.

I don't even think she has any food I'd attempt to eat there. Nothing I'd keep down anyway. I'd have to bring my own stuff and would feel so trapped once she goes to bed in an hour or two.