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#1
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Thereīs something restful and serene about realising thereīs nothing I can do to make my life better. The "chase" itself is just harmful. There are many examples to this:
I have lived "chasing" things that would be the "next best thing" or the "third best thing" but itīs only tiring. Doing things on my own just to feel lonely when walking in the woods or spending time at a beach, looking at the clouds in the sky. Itīs either or, nothing in between as it only exhausts me. I canīt do anything of value to my situation and now I just realise I live like a senior or a retired person with little money. This isnīt about "finding volunteer work" or "joining a club" as itīs not fulfilling enough. The life you need and want must be established when youīre young and you then build from that. If you donīt have such a foundation and you donīt have the strength yourself to build things from scratch and noone to help you, then you wonīt have anything. Itīs of no help to think "I have a roof over my head, clothes and food everyday" as it will always be people having it worse, it doesnīt make my situation easier. Now I live my days assuming there will be autumnlike weather during summer, no idea to plan anything. Thereīs nothing meaningful I can do so I perhaps rest for a while during the afternoon and make myself some coffee. I eat and watch some series, perhaps I rest some more. Then itīs evening and I perhaps do something at my computer, I perhaps visit the grocery shop and buy some candy or chocolate and watch a movie or a series. I donīt hope for anything, there are obstacles to everything and my efforts will never be enough. Now Iīm going to sit on my balcony, my physical condition worsens, a walk is more or less pointless. I canīt buy anything to start a new hobby. I wonīt be surprised if I get sick but thereīs nothing to do about it. Iīm 40+ and I expect to live like this for the rest of my life. Itīs no life but thereīs nothing to do about it. This has nothing to do with depression as a cause, itīs the result of having tried for so long and nothing comes of it. Also, Iīve already been a patient within psychiatry and gotten evaluated and I donīt have any psychiatric conditions. Itīs just a bad life I canīt do anything about, nothing that would make any real difference. |
![]() Fuzzybear, NovaBlaze, Tart Cherry Jam, unaluna
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![]() avlady
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#2
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Quote:
Good luck to you............
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Trying to Live in the Moment |
![]() Fuzzybear, unaluna
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![]() Fuzzybear, Rive., unaluna
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#3
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I felt that way for 13 years at the end of my marriage & after my computer engineering career crashed in Calif & no one was hiring. HOWEVER, when a door opened for me to get out....I RAN & successfully started my life over at 54. 2100 miles away from where I lived all my life & didn't know anyone. Best move I ever made in my life & finally happy & at peace. It is all in the timing & being ready to take the action when opportunity comes
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![]() Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
#4
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Chasing stuff that never works out just wears you down. It sucks feeling stuck, but you're not the only one who feels this way. Thanks for sharing. Take care.
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