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  #1  
Old Jun 26, 2025, 10:13 AM
SarahSweden SarahSweden is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,706
Thereīs something restful and serene about realising thereīs nothing I can do to make my life better. The "chase" itself is just harmful. There are many examples to this:
  • I live in Sweden and I need warm and sunny weather to be able to at least take a swim in a nearby lake and to sit in the sun. During our summer itīs often cloudy and windy, not a weather for swimming outside. Nothing to do of course and itīs pointless listening to weather reports and to "chase after the sun".
  • To be able to work I need to work for a company, half time, at a permanent position which allows me to work from home when I have the energy and when it suits me. I could never cope with working full time or in an office. I did a search for such work and there are none, you need to start your own firm to work like that. I canīt do sales work, telemarketing and such. Nothing to do.
  • I donīt have a family nor friends that Iīm close to. When I reach out itīs often too stressful and filled with disappointment so if affects my everyday life. Itīs not worth it even if I know itīs harmful to my health to spend much time alone.

I have lived "chasing" things that would be the "next best thing" or the "third best thing" but itīs only tiring. Doing things on my own just to feel lonely when walking in the woods or spending time at a beach, looking at the clouds in the sky.

Itīs either or, nothing in between as it only exhausts me. I canīt do anything of value to my situation and now I just realise I live like a senior or a retired person with little money.

This isnīt about "finding volunteer work" or "joining a club" as itīs not fulfilling enough. The life you need and want must be established when youīre young and you then build from that. If you donīt have such a foundation and you donīt have the strength yourself to build things from scratch and noone to help you, then you wonīt have anything.

Itīs of no help to think "I have a roof over my head, clothes and food everyday" as it will always be people having it worse, it doesnīt make my situation easier.

Now I live my days assuming there will be autumnlike weather during summer, no idea to plan anything. Thereīs nothing meaningful I can do so I perhaps rest for a while during the afternoon and make myself some coffee. I eat and watch some series, perhaps I rest some more. Then itīs evening and I perhaps do something at my computer, I perhaps visit the grocery shop and buy some candy or chocolate and watch a movie or a series.

I donīt hope for anything, there are obstacles to everything and my efforts will never be enough. Now Iīm going to sit on my balcony, my physical condition worsens, a walk is more or less pointless. I canīt buy anything to start a new hobby.

I wonīt be surprised if I get sick but thereīs nothing to do about it.

Iīm 40+ and I expect to live like this for the rest of my life. Itīs no life but thereīs nothing to do about it. This has nothing to do with depression as a cause, itīs the result of having tried for so long and nothing comes of it. Also, Iīve already been a patient within psychiatry and gotten evaluated and I donīt have any psychiatric conditions. Itīs just a bad life I canīt do anything about, nothing that would make any real difference.
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  #2  
Old Jun 28, 2025, 07:41 AM
moodyblue83 moodyblue83 is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 261
Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden View Post

[/LIST]
"I have lived "chasing" things that would be the "next best thing" or the "third best thing" but itīs only tiring. Doing things on my own just to feel lonely when walking in the woods or spending time at a beach, looking at the clouds in the sky. "

************Why are you " chasing " things ? Maybe I misunderstand what you're saying here. I love walking in the woods by myself, spending time at the beach clouds in the sky. These are all beautiful things . I don't know what your really chasing but in the meantime your missing out on some beautiful moments in your life, ( just my personal perspective )

"If you donīt have such a foundation and you donīt have the strength yourself to build things from scratch and noone to help you, then you wonīt have anything. "

**************I agree having a good foundation is very important, BUT , there are many other variables that play into how you build or develop your life. It's not too late. If you realty want to you can follow a different path. Stop " chasing things " and learn about YOURSELF first. There are ways to change how you feel and what direction you're life can go , don't chase , just explore , do research into things that may help you.

Iīm 40+ and I expect to live like this for the rest of my life. Also, Iīve already been a patient within psychiatry and gotten evaluated and I donīt have any psychiatric conditions. Itīs just a bad life I canīt do anything about, nothing that would make any real difference.
**************It sounds like depression, you need to get rid of the defeatist attitude. There's always something you can do about it.You have to work with what you were givin , then add to it somehow , someway. Get help , don't give up.

Good luck to you............
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  #3  
Old Jul 01, 2025, 11:28 AM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: Kentucky, USA
Posts: 25,071
I felt that way for 13 years at the end of my marriage & after my computer engineering career crashed in Calif & no one was hiring. HOWEVER, when a door opened for me to get out....I RAN & successfully started my life over at 54. 2100 miles away from where I lived all my life & didn't know anyone. Best move I ever made in my life & finally happy & at peace. It is all in the timing & being ready to take the action when opportunity comes
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  #4  
Old Jul 02, 2025, 03:15 PM
lauport lauport is offline
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Member Since: May 2025
Location: United States Piscataway
Posts: 12
Chasing stuff that never works out just wears you down. It sucks feeling stuck, but you're not the only one who feels this way. Thanks for sharing. Take care.
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