[itsjustme111]

Hey everyone. My ex did not call me back to let me know what he could arrange. I got his new cell number from him yesterday; but I called this morning and he did not answer or call back. I dont know what he is up to but my doctor may be right; up to no good again. hhhmmm; I will wait for a while then I will have to call my doctor and tell him I cant go in. Feeling kind of sad and frustrated. He always pulls stuff like this; and get away with it. ggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr. Well; I give it a chance here, maybe he did not have time to call yet.
My son is feeling better after our ER trip. I hate when he goes through this; I just want to take his pain away. He is full of energy again today; so its good to see.

justy

[itsjustme111]

Hey all. If u dont hear from me for a while then I did get into the h. If not I will be here when the forum is back and running. Okay. Take good care everyone and my thoughts will be with u.

In my heart, soul and mind. Love u all.
Thanks for being such great friends

justy

[dexter]

Good luck justy and please don't cancel the hospital stay no matter what your ex pulls. Bottom line he is trying to prevent you from getting better to give himself a foot up. IMO the best defense and offense is to stay on your plan to get well.

Good luck and hope to hear when you return.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[itsjustme111]

Yes, I know what he is doing now. Why did I not see that yesterday. He was too nice the second time we talked. But the thing is I cant go. I still have my kids. I have to phone my doc by 4:00 today; its past 3 already. So, I will have to let the bed go. I am so upset today; but in a way it was good; my house is nice and clean. I had to vent somehow and it needed to be positive. Its hard enough the kids to deal with let alone their mother walking around upset. Thanks everyone, talk to u later.

justy

[dexter]

Will you be able to get in on Monday according to the original schedule?

And please document his behaviour. He is not only screwing around with the court proceedings, he is screwing around with your health. If he is claiming that you have a medical issue, and his behaviour is preventing you from getting treatment for that behaviour, that speaks to where his priorities are. He can claim that going to the hospital isn't a big deal because it is "only" a mental illness, but then it can't be a big deal when it comes to who can better take care of the kids.

This guy is really ruffling my feathers. Make sure you talk to your doc and make sure you still have a recovery plan.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[dexter]

itsjustme...

I posted this in the temporary forum as a reply to your post there:
<hr>
itsjustme

I understand all of the roadblocks and I understand how hard it is making this. It is horrible to have no one around to help (I am in the same boat, but all I have to worry about is myself... no responsibilities like dependant children).

You really really need an advocate to help you with this. From what you have said, you really trust your T and she seems to make the effort to help. Or your doctor or someone else who is currently working with you. I think your T already knows the whole situation. Let her either help or find someone with the resources... social worker or lawyer or something, to help you with this.

Most strongly I urge you NOT to lie to the doctor when you talk to him. What good will that do? Push you further and further down the hole until you loose your children by being unable to take care of them. You HAVE to take care of yourself to take care of them. The doc has already demonstrated that he understands your situation and will work with you and around your schedule as much as he can. He is in your service, but you do have to show him some "good faith" activity on your part that you will work hard to make this happen.

Just a possible suggestion. Talk to the doc, tell him the truth. Don't set up another hospital appointment, but tell him that you want to set up with the hospital but will make sure first that there won't be any more holdups, and promise him you will keep in touch and let him know when he can make firm plans.

Then talk to your T and get her advice on solving the problem with your kids. You have already been through some court services so maybe you have some objective contacts there. A social worker. Family services. Lawyer. Anything. Get someone with some legal pull to mediate this. Make a court order that he has to take the kids so that you can get medical treatment that you have been putting off because of him. Have someone from social services pick up the kids and drop them at your ex's and say here, they are yours for the next week, as per your agreement.

Explain to your advocate that there are court proceedings pending that you have had to postpone because you must solve your medical problem first. You have already been forced to postpone them once already, and now you are postponing your SCHEDULED MEDICAL TREATMENT because you ex has broken his promise and is shurking HIS responsibility. That is making YOU look bad in the court's eyes, but you WANT to get the court date rescheduled but it is your EX that is holding you up.

You can not worry about what they will think regarding mental illness. Taking these steps will show them that you are RESPONSIBLE and CAPABLE, that you are not going to the hospital because you are "out of control." This is a scheduled hospital stay that is required for regulating the meds that you need to keep you functioning properly. If they are going to look at that negatively, you can't worry about that. I can guarantee that they will look at having a breakdown negatively, and you admit that is where you are headed. Even without a breakdown, they are going to look at postponing treatment that you need negatively, and at this point I think it is a good bet that that is what your ex is up to... to manupulate you into postponing your treatment so that they can show up in court and say "see she isn't even taking care of herself."

itsjustme please do this. Do what you have to, but don't think that submitting to your ex's manipulation is what you "have to." Take back control.

{{{{{{{{itsjustme}}}}}}}}

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--http://www.idexter.com

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((((((((((Justy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I read your post and also read what dexter had to say. Dexter I like your forwardness on this issue. I would have to agree on what Dexter is trying to tell you Justy.

I am worried about you,
I want to see you getting help,
I would like to say a few words to your x,
I care about you deeply,
Leslie

[itsjustme111]

Yes, I know.

justy

[dexter]

I also know if is very hard to do. I just want you to keep it in your mind and keep trying... that's why I bring it up even though I know you know that already. Also with depression we may not trust our own instincts so it is good to have some feedback.

Good luck with this. If you can find a social worker or family services person or someone who "knows the system" and can advocate for you, that this may be much easier for you. Also I know you are very alone, but keep your eyes open for friends. It is so difficult because we isolate ourselves but sometimes there is someone there willing to help and we don't even notice them.

{{{{{{{{ itsjustme}}}}}}}}

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--http://www.idexter.com

[itsjustme111]

Hey Dexter. Thank you very much; I did not mean that post in a rude way; just dont have much to say right now. I do apreciate all of this. I am starting to completely isolate myself; I was not going to come on tonight but I promised someone i would.

justy

[dexter]

I did not read that post as "rude" I took it to mean you are having a hard time following through. Keeping your promises here is a good sign. Do try to get some rest as well though.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[Fuzzybear]

Good luck (((((((((((((((justy)))))))))))))))