[itsjustme111]

I recieved a pm today. Like I do not have enough to deal with; then I get told by another member that I am using this site as a personal diary and I am just looking for attention.

What the hell is that. You know I would like to ask; who has a right to pm me and say this kind of crap. WE talk about getting along. Well; to this person who said this; makes it kind of hard with attacks like this. Grow up. I suggest u not read my things and not send bull like that. I slept less than 2hrs. I am already drained, then I come in here for some support with this waiting.

WEll thanks very much; glad for the encouragment.

justy

If I received a PM like that, I would copy/paste it and send it to a moderator to handle. No one has the right to PM you like that. It sounds like a personal issue which could be handled really well by our great moderators!!

That's what DocJohn pays them for! Oh yeah, they volunteer for this....silly me! Well, still - I'd send it to a moderator to handle.

I'm not sure that posting it on a forum helps much. It might just upset people. I hope you don't mind that suggestion. emmy

<div class="foot">(Edited by emily4040 on 08/19/04 12:44 PM.)</div>

Sorry that someone did this to you.
I agree with the moderator idea if it bothered you.
Hang in there,
Jon

[itsjustme111]

hhhmmm; I agree that I should not have posted it; with everything going on. I guess my point to it was; the suggestion of pm others to deal with things. Well I have barely ever talked to this person and then all of a sudden I got this. I just dont think that something like this should be on the forum or as a pm.
And I did report it. Thanks.

justy

[itsjustme111]

So what the heck is okay to post then? I am scared now to speak my mind.

justy

Em is just trying to be helpful; don't take it personal--you're entitled to post, but not sure what the purpose would be to let all the people know that one person was an *** and sent you a stupid and insensitive PM. (I think that's what Emily was trying to say) The person who sent you this PM will get over it, and you did the right thing by sending it to a moderator.

[(JD)]

(((justy))) I'm sorry someone PMd you this way... maybe they were trying to listen to DocJohn and not voice their opinion in public, but in PM? <font color=blue>

From time to time another member or two will PM me with a nasty-gram and then I close my PM acceptance till things settle down. You might want to do that too, not accept PMs for a little while?

<font color=green> Do this under MY PROFILE, Preferences, Edit...

I think we all understand how we have to pull back when we are being overwhelmed... take care of yourself first, ok?

<font color=green> ...slip sliding away... slip sliding away....

[SweetCrusader]

i can't believe someone did that. i have never received a nasty pm, thankfully. i would probably take it really hard if i ever did.
i have a received a few from people who wondered if i intended to be rude to them, but we cleared things up each time because i never do have negative intentions. i care about y'all.

anyway, i'm sorry someone said that stuff. i think it's clear that most of us don't agree with them. (((((hugs))))) hang in there

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-

[itsjustme111]

Yes, makes total sense. Like I say, I want others to read this post because we need to take into account of how we make others feel. I did not post this in any way to start a comotion. Lord knows we dont need that. I think I will shut off my pm. So if someone tries to send one, its just a temperary thing. Jon, you said that illness like this makes things that much more personal and we take things hard. I couldnt agree more. I am a sensitive person to start with. Now its like; look at me the wrong way and you will be picking up the pieces after. I cry so easy. I see a commercial; like huggies or something; and I cry and say, "oh, look at the baby." How pathetic is that.
Oh, with the response that Emily gave; I was not upset with her.
(Emily) you made a valid point and it is correct with what u say. I do agree. We do things that are impulsive; when our emotions are unstable. I love the feed back I get; it makes me think about all perspectives. That is why I come here. AND of course I love ya all too!!!!! No matter what someone says to me or maybe does; I always try to find that forgiveness. As much as I hate my ex; he is the kids father. I speak postive about him to my kids. I always tell them the "good stories". I always instill in the kids that we both love them and none of this is there fault.
How did I get on this subject? Geezzzzzzzz.
justy. and thanks for the feed back.

[krzyk101]

Hello, itsjustme

This was really wrong of this person to treat you in this manner. As your title states "PM's can be a problem" This is so very true. That is why if you are getting too many Pm's that cause you distress, you do have the option in your "Profile or Start page to edit the PM feature to where you will not accept PM's at the current time.

This of course would have its pros and cons, as if you do wnat some PM from others only are becoming distressed by others, then this option would eliminate for both wanted and unwanted Pm's.

As a suggestion in the future, if you do not know the person or if they have only posted once and such, you may want to just treat it as SPAM I feel if a person who is unknown to you, PM's you to delete it and then read a few of there posts to see if you feel safe with them and explain to them in the public forum why you could not accept the Pm's

Just wanted to let you know that sometimes a soulutions is not quick and easy, though we do have options.

______________
~KRIS~

If you think you have totally gave up, you haven't, because you are here!

[gloria]

I'm sorry you received a PM that was unapropiate. I PM people sometimes but mostly to give additional support, or to ask them for some extra support for a little more somebody in the furom.
Here is a suggestion to you:

1- You can in your profile indicate whether or not you want to accept PM's or not.
2- Forward the PM that was unapropriate to Dr. John or any of the monitors (who ever you feel comfortable with) so this can be addressed as well.

gab

[Leslie]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((justy))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I love reading what you write. You don't hold anything back, I like that. I wish I could express myself better. I have a lot of emotions inside of me but I am sure how to get them out.

I love you and care so much about you,
Please e-mail me,
Leslie

[itsjustme111]

Hey ((((((((((((((((((Leslie))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!!!!! Writing and talking; its hard. I know you struggle with this. When you feel ready, we are here for u. If there is anything you want to talk about; please dont hold back with me. YOu have been a rock for me; you have great strength and give so very much. YOu touch others in a way that truly amazes me; you show so much compassion. I wonder if you forget about yourself though. Not in a bad way; but your want to help others is so strong. Thats what makes you so special. I do hope you see it. Things take time, I know that. I may not see it all the way though. I used to bottle so much inside; and do still; but not as much because I blew. I totally broke down and thats when I learned about myself. I do talk a lot and it can be annoying. I am not usually so focused on "poor me". I hate that part of me right now. Maybe its what needs to be; maybe focusing more on ourselves isnt so bad. Talk to us; we talk to you and you listen. We are here when you are ready for us to hear your voice.
and yes, i will email u. sry its taken so darn long.

justy

[lost_lonely]

I am so sorry this happened to you! That person had NO right to say that to you. I don't think you're using this site as a "personal diary," and I never would. We're here to listen to you, and help you. PMs like that can really bring this place down.
That person is an insensitive ***. Don't listen to them, okay? Please keep on posting, the rest of us only want to help you and are here for you.
I hope today is a better day for you. (((((((((((justy))))))))))))

[itsjustme111]

Thanks lost_lonely. Means a great deal to me. You are all so kind and keep me coming back. I need to see the positive more; hard sometimes. But with all the support here; how could I leave?

justy

[darkeyes]

I am sorry someone did this to you, I personally feel PM's should be pleasant or informative, not nasty.
None of us like to recieve nasty PM's.
Like the old saying goes, "do onto others as you would want them to do to you".
I hope who ever did this to you has the decency to apologize to you.
Also I hope everyone would view guidelines/disclaimer for this website, which can help members to avoid problems with one another.
Again, I am sorry this has happened to you, and want to tell everyone, do not let things, out weigh the good that can be obtained here.
Please take care,
DE

In giving advice seek to help, not please your friend
SOLON

[itsjustme111]

Thank you, I agree. What I do realize that the person who sent this; they are new to the forum. Although I feel it is common sense to not send such a thing; this person was not aware that this could be upsetting. So its really no big deal. Its done and over; and like I have said, I am really sensitive right now. I am not going to take things to heart. Only the postive.

justy

[jagster]

Im sorry this happened to you and i hope it never happens again. I dont know why some people have to be so cruel?

Take care, Jag