why do i need to know

I want to understand why I need to push things until they are spelled out in black and white or right there in front of my face.

I find that most people are the exact opposite. They would much rather ignore or walk away from a situation rather then deal with confrontation.

Unfortunately, not I! It is not always confrontation for me, many times it is proving to myself that my thoughts are correct. Example, the ridiculous idea that I should see my ex with his new girlfriend! I am not talking about stalking. I am not talking about confrontation. This is just a real life acknowledgment. Is this type of behavior because I enjoy tearing my heart out? Is it because I am a closure nut?

I think I have an unhealthy need to find out why or the what in almost every failed personal relationship or friendship. I can drive myself crazy with the reasons or what ifs! Is this just really obsessive behavior or something else. And what can I do to control it.

How can I learn to just move on because sometimes there is no reason, or as in the example above do I like re-breaking my heart?

(((((Curley))))) I don't have any answers for you but I'm sending you a hug.

Don't know how you can change...but talking to a therapist could help...if you don't already go! Sending you good wishes!!

the only advice people give here is go and see a therapist.

Thats not gonna fly in your case i dont reckon. I think more people need to confront the issues that puzzle them and leave them wondering. Too many people are happy to walk away from the things that hurt them. I think you just have a deep need to find out what it is about your relationships that hurt you or cause the breakdown so you can stop it from happening.

But all the hype on personality disorders is making you believe that its ... well ... a disorder.

It's scary not to know. I guess you have to practice being in situations where you don't know how they're going to come out and going and doing other things.

{{{curley}}}

Does seeing them change anything? Does it put it to rest? There is an empty place that used to be filled by your ex. Maybe obsessing keeps those feelings at bay? What works for me is to really turn inward and see what I'm feeling. Let myself cry. Then really take care of myself. Guess at what I'd like to do. Try new things.

You do, too?
I still bother to call my ex,even though I know he's always going to be busy with his new girlfriend. I can't seem to quit it and move on.

I know how you feel..