[youOme]

I don't know what to do anymore!!!!

I've been literally working my *** off, working full time and still going to college full time. I've sacrificed seeing my kids...I haven't seen my boy for more then a half an hour a day this last two weeks, and my poor little girl keeps crying for me during the day. I basically go to work then go straight to class from there. I stay in class till 9:30 pm.

My husband failed us....

He quit his job with benefits for an unknown reason, still I cannot fully explain...and did not make an effort to get a equal or better job. I got a job in desperation not aware of how difficult it would be on my children and I. I know how my mother felt being a single mother. My husband lays around and drinks all day. I got paid 200 dollars on my first pay check and he drank 40 dollars worth of it up. I now have 7 dollars to last for two weeks.

I'm panicking....

I checked my mail today and there was the eviction notice I had been dreading but expecting. I owe three months rent. Every utility has a cut off notice for the next couple weeks. Ya'll won't hear from me soon neither because my Internet is miraculously still on, I'm not sure why.

I HATE my husband. It's sick that I feel this way, but I do. He's destroyed my life....he'd rather sit around and be a piece of %#@&#! drunk then feed his kids.

He won't even go to Wal Mart to get a work release form so we can get food stamps, we are NOT receiving any benefits at all.

I've never been soooooo ready to leave ever! I'm ready, I'm more prepared now to be a single mother then I have ever been. My fear has basically suppressed to instinct, the instinct to survive and care for my children.



Soooooo, sorry....I despise it when people ***** about bills and money, but I'm truly terrified. I'm so scared. If I lose my kids....I won't be able to go on....

If I never sleep, just work third shift, work my other job, and still keep my schooling or resort to on line classes, take part time next semester....something, anything...it just HAS to work.

[bebop]

((((hugs)))) tell him he can't have the money for booze hon! you have to take care of you and the kids. he needs to grow up!

[Doh2007]

I don't have words to express how worried I am for you. Anything I say is insufficient. I will pray for you.

[sharronrose]

Life does hand us some humungous trials. I would not want your test right now. But you sound like you are going to make it. I think you are stronger than you feel. People have always told me how strong I am but I've never felt it.
I pray that God will help you with the decisions you have to make. Good luck and God speed.

[okiedokie]

Hi there,
You probably haven't had a chance to call around to see what kind of help is available. Call your power co and ask for assistance. Local churches. Go to food banks for food. Don't spend the cash on that. Go to 2nd-hand stores for clothing and such. Apply for financial aid if at all possible. If you can't house and feed your kids you may have to put school on hold until you can.
Any family that can help you out?

Go to your college's counseling dept. Oftentimes they offer free counseling and have lists of resources to help students exactly like you. You also may get assistance from the state for shcool through job retraining, etc. If your husband won't go to WalMart to get the release, you go get it yourself. You are eligible for benefits that you are currently not receiving.

I would definitely help your husband OUT, the way he came in. It doesn't sound to me like you'd be any worse off without him. But, only you know that for sure.

I certainly wish you all the best and will pray for you as well. School will always be there for you when you are ready. Take good care of you. It's the airplane analogy that I usually tell people. In order to be able to put oxygen on your loved one next to you, you have to put it on yourself first!
XO,
Okie

[DocClyde]

(((YouOme)))

Yes, take care of you and the kids first. I hope things get better quick!

(((((((((youOme)))))))))))

when my stepdad started wasting money on that stuff my mom got seperate checking accounts so that her money from her job wasnt accesable to him. Maybe that will work for you

[BrnEyedGrl]

First let me say that you are in my prayers and my heart was just breaking reading your story.
I agree with what someone else wrote about calling around for more help. When a similar situation happened to me I called Salvation Army, and FIA which it seems you have already done. Since your hubby won't offer any help to you....call your caseworker and let them know that, they are there to help. They WILL pay your rent so you are not evicted!
I know it is so overwhelming right now, but it will get better day-by-day.

Dealing with an alcoholic husband is NOT easy, I deal with it everyday as well.
Hoping for a better tomorrow for you and your kids.....

[wisewoman]

You have gotten good advice. It seems you are really overwhelmed. Ask if there is an advocate at one of these agencies to help you through the maze. I wish I was there I would help. Community action agencies can help also.

[curley]

Dear YouOMe. Well I dont hate when people complain about bills etc. But many times, I think to myself, come on you dont have it that bad. WELL, I wish I could say that this time. Damn you are in a hard place! NO Doubt. My thinking tells me your hubby got fired rather then quit. That could explain his drinking. And drinking certainly has not helped the problem for either of you. But it can help him sleep away a few hours so he does not need to think about it. NOT good for either of you. Believe it or not, as bad for him as for you. If there is any way for you to start part time at school for now I would. I know you feel you are sacrificing so much now, but if you do not you may be out on the street! Ya Gotta Do What Ya Gotta do for now! I feel for your situation. I have been there, almost identical, but thank goodness, I only had me and my lazy hubby, no children! I felt exactly as you do! It is not a good feeling. Especially when you probably feel like hubby does not care, why is he leaving all the responsibility to you etc. Good question. I am sure it is feeling he has failed, let you down, etc. And the worse it gets the worse he will get. If there is any time of Mental health in the City of (wherever you live) look for a psychologist in that mental health. They have payscale and you have no money, so it should be free. The reason I suggest that is that I have no idea of how to effectively deal with your hubby. But they will. And I hope you can fall back in love with him as well as both of you deal with the problem. My heart goes out for you. Good luck to you. You will be in my prayers!

[Junerain]

for YouOMe,

here's to hoping you will still write us and update us and have you still in our lives- computers at public libraries!!!

[splitimage]

YouOme,

I'm so sorry all of this is happenning to you right now. You don't deserve it, and I wish I could offer some concrete help. Someone else already said it but if husband won't pick up his work release then you go get it and file for benefits. You may have to put school on hold until you can get the financial situation sorted out, but you can always go back.

I know it's going to be hard, but do not give your husband any access to your money - set up a separate account if you don't have one already.

I'm an alcoholic, and I'm single so fortunately the only person's life I screwed up was my own, but I do know an alcoholic won't get help sometimes until they are forced with losing everything. Can you tell him that if he doesn't get help for the drinking he's out. Can you live with that. I know being a single mom can't be easy and is scary, but he's not helping you now.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts.

--splitimage

[youOme]

Hello everyone.

I'm sincerely thankful for the support ya'll have given me, basically it's the only sort of support I get, I'm very gracious.

I'm at the point where I am screaming inside, like I'm nearly on the verge of tears constantly. Every word another person says to me...face to face, enrages me. The people who've complained to me about any sort of small ******** makes me want to strangle them and tell them "THAT AIN"T %#@&#!".

Mostly, I am angry at myself for allowing these awful things to happen to me, to come into my life. I just realized I have been driving around without car insurance for a week now....my insurance cards say I'm good for another three months, I'm hoping this deception will buy me time.

Luckily my Internet is still on.

I really need help. My Mom has been ignoring my cries, she tells me it's all my husbands fault and that I'm at fault for staying here with him. Instead of supporting me with insightful resolutions and advice she harps on me and indicates to me what a loser I am. My sister just told me she's been dealing and smoking crack....another hard blow. For my husband, well....he does nothing but blames me for every single little %#@&#! thing...every small piece of unbalance in our lives including misplaced mail and unmatched socks...I'm literally about to crack.

I feel alone.

I realize now that I am ill with suffering. I can't sleep, eat, or even think clearly. As I was driving home from class this evening I veered off the road not realizing what I was doing. My mind was blank.

To end this crappy post with something enlightening I will say that my nephew is coming from DC to see me for a week. My teacher told me to give her my NYC money whenever I can get it to her even though it's due tomorrow, she even offered me a loan....it was so nice.

I'm trying to make it through....thanks all for listening and caring. (((everyone)))

[wisewoman]

I care tremendously. I hope You can find help. Your mother, isn't.

[Doh2007]

It's awful when your mother won't validate your feelings. To state the obvious, people in your family are failing you. It's super nice that your teacher responded so well. But it's a drop in the bucket of what you need. If there's any way you can, you need to step back from your life. Can you take the kids to the park where they can run around and you can let nature minister to you?