Slowly learning

I am slowly learning that medications can only do so much. They may help you to deal with situations better but those situations are still there.

When I find myself getting upset with life sometimes I think more medication is going to solve the problem. It might help to a point but I also need to change me. Right now I am doing alot of questioning inside myself. How can I be a better person and how can I make changes to make life more enjoyable? Do you ever find yourself thinking about these things?

Take care,
Leslie

Hi, Leslie.

YES, i find myself thinking about these things A LOT lately. I'm very much a "good patient" and follow the T's drug prescriptions by the book, so I don't really get so tempted to use more medication than what's being told me to use. Also, I've had my share of hospital "seasons" and it sacres the *** out of me to even think that I could accidentally overdose and be rushed to a hospital, which helps keep me in control, so to speak.

The only thing that's left for me to do when I feel my meds fading or that they're not enough for all the coping (aaargh!) is to stop and THINK. Think positive, think beautiful, think calm blue sky, think deep sea, think green woods, think clouds or maybe just stop and look around. Then I try to evaluate and not judge. Evaluate my lifestyle, my patterns, my quality of life...

And always, always I find comfort in music. Music increases my perception and affects my mood, so that it's like a game for me to pick the best soundtrack for specific moments.

Well... hope we're on the same page, here.

be well.

(((((((((((((((((((Leslie)))))))))))))))))))), I wish I knew what to say. I really dont. Meds can do only so much. I dont know how to change things in life, I guess we find it as we grow. This is for u and all of the others that we care about in here;

You are my planet in my universe,
The sun in my sky,
My one star within millions,
The sparkle in my eye.

You are the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow,
The hershey in my kiss,
The light in the dark,
The one I care for.

You are the petals of my rose,
My light from the moon,
The wind on my wings,
My favorite tune.

You are the flame of my candle,
The waves of my ocean,
The sand on my beach,
The ingredients of a great friendship

You are the bridge over my water,
The fish in my sea,
And these things and more are,
What you mean to me.

You are my friend.

I am thinking of u Leslie, keep writing. I wish I had answers for you but I just dont. I think all of us have similar thoughts and many of these questions that u are trying to find the answers too. I want u to know, no matter what, I am here for u. Dont give up Leslie, you are such a wonderful person. Hang in there, we are here for u.

Love your friend;
justy

((((((((((((((saudade))))))))))))))

Thanks so much for you words of wisdom. We are on the same page. I read what you said very carefully and I am keeping what you said in my mind when things get tough. Thanks for responding , I am hoping others will continue to respond to this post . I could use the encouragement and I like reading about different ways of dealing, coping, with life issues.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Justy)))))))))))))))))
WOW what a poem you wrote. It was sooooooo beautiful that I was in tears when I read it. You sure do have a gift there. I wish I could express myself in that way.

Leslie

>> I am slowly learning that medications can only do so much.

I agree. I don't think meds are supposed to fix things, they are only one part of the puzzle.

People drink and take drugs to make them "feel better" often when they are battling depression without realizing it. I don't think our meds are supposed to be "safe equivelants" to drugs and alchohol, i.e. that they are supposed to make us "feel better" in a safer or more controlled way. I think instead they are supposed to address the root of our problem, that being the chemical imbalance in our brains that doesn't allow us to "recover" or "cope" from difficult stressors in our lives once that stress has past, or the depression that often appears even when no stressors exist (our minds feel depressed and then we go out and associate that with sometimes non-existant things, which we speak of as the negativity and lies that depression tells us.)

My take on it is this. Everyone goes through stress and through periods of depression. We find ways to cope with that depression (hopefully healthy ways to cope) and to get past those periods. People with clinical depression have an imbalance of brain chemicals that causes them to react to depression differently: the depression takes on a life of its own, and no amount of coping skills will help it pass.

In therapy we learn a variety of more powerful coping skills, and also learn about ourselves and the things that knowingly or unknowingly trigger depressive states. We can therefore deal with periods of depression more effectively and partially learn to avoid them. (People without clinical depression would benefit from this too). But because of the chemical imbalance, the coping skills can't really work effectively and certainly can't have lasting effects. That's where the meds come in, they help rebalance the brain chemicals, taking down that barrier that prevents the coping skills from working. In some cases meds may not be necessary and in others there may not be any progress at all possible without the help of medication.

Once an effective medication is found for the individual, it helps that barrier come down, but it doesn't cure the depression, it just allows the coping skills and therapy to work and helps the depression to not linger for no reason.

If mental illness is like a fire in our brains, therapy and coping skills are the firemen and the water. Medications are the ladder that the fireman sometimes need to reach the flames. Without a ladder, if the fire is on the roof, no matter how much water they squirt to the first floor it isn't going to help.

>>And always, always I find comfort in music. Music increases my perception and affects my mood, so that it's like a game for me to pick the best soundtrack for specific moments.

Music is very important in my life as well. I hear from most people that they like to play happy music to lift them when they are depressed. I like to listen to music that matches my mood. I like sad, dramatic, cinematic music many times to complement my mood. I guess it brings me more into the mood itself and away from the triggers that caused that mood, so I can feel it and get past it easier. I don't know. Maybe I'm just a strange duck.

I am a big movie fan and I love movie soundtracks so that might have something to do with it.

itsjustme I hope you keep a journal of your poetry at home for reference. I hope that your writing might also benefit you when you go through it as it does for others who read it here. I am sure that the process of writing it is helpful as well.

Speaking of coping skills, writing is a good one that a lot of people find effective, whether writing creatively or journaling.

Leslie , I'm REALLY glad I could be of any help. It's such a shot in the dark; and I guess we're always a bit concerned about giving bad advice or saying something stupid... Just hope you're feeling better and taking good care of yourself.

Dexter : Really glad to hear how you feel about music, which is the single most precious thing for me ever...

I, too, won't let such concepts as "uplifting tunes, yay!" get in the way of my appreciation of it. I don't know how to say that in English, but sometimes I just want to "chafurdar na lama" - what pigs do in the mud - go down with every emotion that it brings up, be it very happy or very sad or none of the above :-)

Hey Les, you know I tend to expect too much from myself. I put up with a brother in law in my house for 2 years longer than was reasonable. I just think I should be able to do certain things. The meds have helped me think more clearly about what I want and what is important and necessary for me. I am not always good with the boundaries but slowly I am finding ways to add joy to my life. Hard right now because of crisis but in general. What do I like and need? There is a bumper sticker I see on a car at my office that says this is not practice, this is life, live. I want to learn to do that. Peace to your heart Leslie