[altonwoodsdrphil]

Read a post here and want to tell somebody what you feel is the "solution" to their problem but don't because you feel as though it might be "politically in-correct" or that it would likely be misunderstood and twisted around into something far removed from what your intentions were? I do all the time...there seems to be an attitude in our society that says " It's my right to complain and be miserable,and how dare you suggest otherwise" this is especially true when what you suggest has anything to do with God. Do I know the solutions to everyones problems? Of course not! but I know someone who does...he's a friend, very cool guy! It's wierd though, most people don't know him but they seem to have opinions about him...hmmm, (A lot of people have come in his name and screwed it up,even me!) he's always been like a father to me, very kind and loving and has proven himself trustworthy which is a pretty rare thing. well, I guess I'm done ranting, thanks for reading.

[SeptemberMorn]

Ditto, Altonwood!! Certainly behind you on this one!

[recluse1]

((((((altonwoods))))))

Yes, I have! Many times, just as you said. I totally get where you are coming from on this one. Been there, done that! I think alot of times, with many people, we are all clumped together in a category that is unfair. We don't all pretend to have all the answers. We don't all try to push ourselves on others. We don't all have an attitude of intolerance. And most certainly, We dont all damn everyone to hell for their beliefs or dis-beliefs. But it seems as if we are all catagorized as such. Even if our intentions are good and our hearts pure in their endeavor to try and support or comfort.

I'm ok with the fact that not everyone believes as I do. All they have to do is say so. It would just be nice if they were as respectful to my feelings as I am of theirs. "Do unto others" isn't just a religious belief, it seems to me that it is a common courtesy that anyone that values others feelings would use. But, again, that's just me.

[salukigirl]

the thing i feel is that i read someone's post and think to myself "everything youre describing is your own fault." but no one will come out and say it. everyone gives them internet hugs when all they need is a kick in the ***. in that case i usually PM them and give them my opinion since they asked for it. people dont like hearing that things theyre *****ing about are their own fault though.

its like the people who say "well im 10 minutes late everyday but i didnt think that was a problem. then my boss yelled at me!" like it was some kind of insult. you were late to work! of course you got yelled at!

i think that sometimes the best way to support someone is to show them what they can do to improve their own situation. so i tell people when theyre the ones causing their own problems. maybe thats why people hate me so much lol

[DocJohn]

And that's why we're a support community first and foremost, not a "this is the way to do it, and if you don't agree, then I can't help you" community.

It's fine to express your opinion when other people ask for it in a thread or such. But if you offer it with it being asked for, especially a strong opinion chastising another person for their thinking, behavior or feelings, then I think you may be missing the point of a support community -- to offer empathetic (and hopefully nonjudgmental) support to one another.

It's like parents...... they think they know everything and want to tell their kids all the bad things they shouldn't do. But it falls on deaf ears if the child or teen isn't open to listening or hearing such an opinion. It takes two people to have a conversation, otherwise you might just as well be talking to a wall.

DocJohn

[I_WMD]

Well Said Doc John ,,,, I have even resorted to writing thoughts of the moment on the wall next to front door ..... So If I do feel I be talking to a wall ???? There is a quip there I CAN Relate to .

[recluse1]

I like how you put that DocJohn. Glad to read your response.

I also like your idea WMD about thought of the moment on the wall, lol. I think everyone feel like that at some point in their lives.

[AAAAA]

Very often these days it seems. It's odd that you I should find this thread today, I was thinking very similiar thoughts. I'll read the forums and it becomes harder and harder to be supportive.

I'm a firm believer in personal responsibility. If you don't own your mistakes and learn from them, you're bound to repeat them. Definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

I know I've found it helpful for an outside source to give me a different perspective, sympathy with a big dose of reality; but not everyone wants to acknowledge that there is a big white elephant in the room let alone how to care for it.

[recluse1]

(((((((AAAAA)))))))

[Rhapsody]

I think most of us have been in this situation at one time or another here on PC..... and I personally believe that any thing can be said to any one - if done the right way.

[pachyderm]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
altonwoodsdrphil said:
Read a post here and want to tell somebody what you feel is the "solution" to their problem but don't because you feel as though it might be "politically in-correct"...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I see some people posting here who have various different solutions for other people's problems. It seems to me you have to let them propose the solutions.

Maybe think, too, about why people need to "save" other people. I have been in that position -- and no longer am so eager to do so. I think the subject is worthy of thinking about.

[KathyM]

Rhapsody

I agree, as long as the intention is solely to provide support to the person in need and we don't take their requests as a personal attack against us.

Personally, when I'm in need I like to hear what everyone has to say even if it's stern - adding a touch of salt doesn't ruin the cake. As long as people don't cut me off, I won't melt in the rain. Even if I completely disagree, it is something to consider. At the very least, I've learned something about that person and where they are coming from.

I think it's nice for a person in need to have a basket of goods to choose from. They can choose what fits their situation the most and consider the rest. As long as the posts carry no selfish intent or personal vendetta, it's all good.

[SeptemberMorn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
KathyM said:
As long as the posts carry no selfish intent or personal vendetta, it's all good.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Unfortunately, that doesn't always hold true. Too often it's mostly about someone's personal agenda or what they perceive as "the truth."

[SeptemberMorn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
altonwoodsdrphil said:
Do I know the solutions to everyones problems? Of course not! but I know someone who does...he's a friend, very cool guy! It's wierd though, most people don't know him but they seem to have opinions about him...hmmm, (A lot of people have come in his name and screwed it up,even me!) he's always been like a father to me, very kind and loving and has proven himself trustworthy which is a pretty rare thing. well, I guess I'm done ranting, thanks for reading.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Alton, you and I have the same friend. How cool is that? You're right on about him! Aren't we blessed?

[drummergrl]

Hi Alton,
Long time no see!! I,m in a bit of a crunch right now, as I,ve had a soft cast on my right hand ring finger after jamming it on the tail light
frame 4 weeks ago. I have a crack in the bone where the knuckle bends in the joint. I was buffing out the bumper when my hand rammed into the frame. OOOOOOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i,VE NOT BEEN ABLE to post comments for awhile til I decided I could try it one handed. My left hand alone............I,m right handed!!!

Your comment was well received by me. Tom T. Hall has a song that explains it for me. Off his greatest hits album...." me and Jesus
got our own thing goin"................it's the best gospel tune for me!!

ANYWAY, just stopped in to say hi!!!!