[RozG]

i'm sat here shaking like a leaf, feeling nauseous and wondering...what next???

this stupid jerk stalker is back on the streets again. must've got himself a fancy lawyer again! yes, he got arrested once before for harassing me but some fancy lawyer had him out within hours!!! what does it take fgs!!!

and how pathetic am i even worrying about it...i should just beat the crap out the jerk and do the time!!!

[nowheretorun]

(((KJ )))) they say violence doesnt solve anything... gotta agree on that...

hey, what about the alarm? call a friend? whats the status on the restraining order?

hang in there

[RozG]

((nowheretorun)) thank you

you're right...violence doesn't solve anything...some hippy i am today....guess it just shocked me turning a corner and him there

i have a good alarm now...gotta let my friends know he's back out...restraining order? i got no idea where that's at atm...

...hanging in there...deep breathing...ty again

[Razzleberry]

Wow...don't know you whole story but that has to be scary.

One suggestion - these days you can get webcam-style surveillance cameras for pretty cheap. You could put a few up around your door or windows or car or whatever. To give you some peace of mind...and also video evidence incase he breaks the restraining order. Just a thought. Check ebay too.

Sorry for what you have to go thru.

[RozG]

Hi Razzleberry

Thanks for the practical advice. That's one thing i've had lots of here so that sides not a worry now. It's just knowing he's about to be honest. And being told the conditions of the restraining order when they do get it done. Like there's a distance limit on it apparently...i.e. can't come within i think 100yards...so i suppose it's just knowing he could still watch me from 110 yards and i can't do a thing.

and i think i'm being stupid...so long as he doesn't actually hurt me i shouldn't bother...it's just doing my head in atm to be honest.

thanks for your support ((Razzleberry))

[pachyderm]

> so long as he doesn't actually hurt me i shouldn't bother

Caring about your safety in the real world shows that you find yourself worth the effort. It does not require panic, but observant attention to what is happening around you, and thinking of how to cope with possibilities.

[RozG]

pachyderm...all i meant was there's nothing i can LEGALLY do to stop the man watching me from a distance...and i'm trying to convince myself it's nothing to freak out about so long as ALL he does is watch from a distance. does that make sense?

[Doh2007]

I can't imagine anything more scary and worrisome. I'm trying to imagine what I would do if I wasn't scared to death. I'm thinking I might try to turn the tables and keep a camera with me. Take his picture every time you see him. Look at him with derision. Let him see you aren't afraid.

Oh, and I think I might look into taking a self defense class. Then let him try something, the loser.

[RozG]

Hi Doh2007

actually, taking his picture or looking at him with derision would make it worse...he'd do it all the more for the attention. but thanks for your input.

[Perna]

Can you call someone and find out the details of his getting out and know the details (he's got to be on some sort of "restraint" -- just paying someone to get him out, there are "rules" he has to follow) and I'd program a phone to call whomever if he breaks them on speed dial

Does not sound fun. Good idea to make sure all your friends know he's out (and the landlord, threaten the landlord with police troubles if he doesn't pay attention). Hope he decides it's not worth it to him and tires of his sick games.

[RozG]

the trouble is Perna he was put on police bail last time, openly defied it and the police did nothing. this has been going on for 10 months so i don't think he's suddenly gonna tire. the last woman he done this to got moved by the police to another city and that's what they want me to do coz it's easier for them. now as much as i'd love to move from this sinkhole inner-city estate...i don't want to move just because of him...it would be like letting him have the satisfaction of knowing he's turned my life upside-down...but...what else is there? i'm not sure how much more of this idiot i can take...when the kids come for the day we even have to have a bodyguard fgs coz the scum threatened my kids!!!

[I_WMD]

Jane ya say in the beginning of this post >>."Beat the crap out of him ".[ not verbatim ]. And I realize we are suppose to be supportive here and do the be safe for ourselves first.

But ,,,,, How hard would it be as Doh I believe said like >>>, Turn the tables on Him. .

I mean with a digital camera and useing someone elses printer ,, so that exposure lines from your printer cannot be traced ,,, and then take some pics of him >>> stalker like .hehe. Annnnnnnnnnnnnd Draw crosshairs [ rifle scope style ] on a pic where he be most vulnerable ,, and slip them under his door ... Also there is a way to hide finger prints and even in daylight is hardley noticable ,, but will conceal your identity if he runs to the police ...

And the ol' hippie thing ,, yea I AM !!! But also I believer in Don't Get Screwed ,,,,,, Get EVEN.

[RozG]

WMD...it may sound pathetic to some but i honestly don't have it in me to turn the tables...my conscience couldn't live with itself....guess it's pathetic but that's just me...never could hurt somebody just coz they hurt me.

do remind me never to mess with you tho...lol...

[eskielover]

I know the feelings of being so afraid of what someone might do to you. It's the not knowing where their mind is at that is the most fearful part of it. I know that inside, the only feelings I have towards people like that is to beat the crap out of them.....but that just isn't realistic.

I know how angry I was that the police didn't do anything about the home care person who abused my Mother when she was dying of cancer & stole her ID while I was right in the house & then she had the police called to accuse me of abusing my Mother. After she OD'ed my Mother & I got my Mom back into the hospital, I stayed in her house 1 night until I realized I was alone & had no idea what this woman might do to me to keep me quiet after I reported her to Adult Protective services.....I remember the fear the morning I went out to the car & was going to drive to the police station to file a report with them......my heart was in my throat......her husband was supposedly a auto mechanic.....did she have the car wired with a bomb?......were the break lines cut?.......nothing happened, but she was in the car in back of me as I drove down the road to the police station. I never stayed in the house again & never left the hospital or my Mothers side for those 3 weeks......for fear she would figure out her way into the hospital & do something to my Mother.

Those people need to be stopped, but the sad thing is that they are allowed to go free & we are the ones that are their prisoners.......we aren't safe with them & it would be foolish to ignore the situation rather than to protect yourself.

The police are useless.....they wouldn't even go after the person who stole my ID & broke into my truck in Albuquerque when I was on my way to California just after Thanksgiving. The police make it sound like they are doing a huge favor for us, when they do absolutely nothing except sit in their company cars & eat donuts. They do nothing about the criminals, but complain at the high crime rate they are fighting.....they are fighting that because they do nothing to stop it.

I am angry at the police as much as I am angry at all the horrible people out there that are hurting those of us who want to just live a peaceful life just being left alone by the jerks.

I can so sympathize with you & hope this guy will be off the street. There are times when my frustration gets so great that I understand why people take the law into their own hands....not that I could do that....but it doesn't mean that I don't understand when other do.

Take care of yourself above everything else & keep a watchout....don't let down your guard even if it is stressful not to. I hope that this horrible person won't get you to the point where you feel it necessary to leave where you are.....but if it's the best thing......maybe that is why this is happening....the catalyst to get you to make that move from where you are because that is the right thing for you to do. One never knows......but moving might just be the right thing to do....even though it feels like they are winning.

Take care.....you are in my thoughts,
Debbie

[RozG]

i'm sorry for all the horrible stuff you went thru...and yes at least i do have the option of being re-located. thank you for responding and you take care of yourself too.

((((((Debbie))))))

[I_WMD]

Not long back I can remember a post that related this same kind of situation ... And that peep moved ,,, and the stalker found her again ...

[RozG]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I_WMD said:
Not long back I can remember a post that related this same kind of situation ... And that peep moved ,,, and the stalker found her again ...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

((((((((Kalamity_Jane ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Keep yourself safe
get a order
have friends help you
Keep police # by you
always be aware
have a friend stay with you

[nowheretorun]

he cant see thru walls kj, stay relaxed, ok? muffy gave some good ideas for you too and maybe the guy will get his butt kicked by someone else, but you dont have to do it...

just stay protected... buy a can of pepper spray? rent a German Shepherd? they're good dogs...

if you do go out, stop by the library or bookstore and get some info on self protection....

call a friend and stay on the line if you get scared... pre-programing the phone is an excellent idea...

put a big stick or something within reach, just in case...

dont worry hon... you will make it...

[RozG]

thanx ((((muffy)))) those are sensible tips

[ziggy1]

HI K_J Sounds like he wants you to feed into his game. I wouldn't.

Although if someone was watching me from a distance that would
make me a bit uneasy. Sounds like a scary tough time. As far
as taking pictures of him and bothering with all that, Personally
I wouldn't. Like I said sounds like he would get more satisfaction from you doing it.

I understand you not having enough strength to turn the tables on him, I dont know the whole story...but it sounds fairly intimidating.

Keep the restraining order on him and the alarm, and maybe get
some webcam surveillance (someone mentioned that earlier).

But I don't think you want to go taking pics and get into that
you probably would find that it wouldn't be worth it and just get your nerves more in an uproar.

And like I said if he found out he would be getting satisfaction
out of it. Hang in there Jane.....

(((((Kalamity_Jane))))))

[RozG]

thank you ((((nowheretorun)))) it's easy to panic when alone but i'll look at doing all these things...like self-defence and a dog...and remind myself to stay calm and not forget there are ppl i can turn to. thanx again

One word.....GUN

Get yourself a fire-arm, learn how to use it and protect yourself.

Now, I am ready for everyone to jump down my throat about this, but if you learn to use it properly, it might bring some safety. Trust me...I know...when my abuser was released from prison, after many years, I never felt safe. Now, I do because I know that I have an option to protect myself.

I'm all about peace and love, but some people never learn and you need to protect yourself.

In the US, it is very easy to get a gun and even easier to get some lessons at a shooting range. I don't know where you are located...

Just another opinion.....

[RozG]

thanx ziggy....i tried pitting that point across earlier that i don't want to do this pics thing or anything that gives him more attention coz he DOES feed on it. believe it or not having the cops on his back makes it worse coz he just loves the attention.

but luckily for me everybody in this hood knows about him and keep an eye on me...and ppl here told me a lot of stuff i didn't know about in the way of home security. i'm fairly safe, it's just un-nerving. i will hang in there tho.

thanx ((ziggy))

[RozG]

Hi Riptide

I'm in the U.K. so a gun's a no-goer...and i'd probably end up doing myself more damage with it anyway. But thanx for your input ((riptide))