[Yack]

I wasn't sure where to put this.

A woman I work with made an inappropriate comment to me today. She is about 27-28 years old. We are not friends at all and do not hang out socially but I see her in meetings.

I feel bad even talking about it because it's embarrasing.

She looked at me and said "Do you always stand like that? You are hunched over". A few minutes later she said "You know what it is? Do you wear an underwire bra? You need a more supportive bra."

I was totally offended. I felt like she must have been staring at me.

[(JD)]

(((hugs)))) I agree, she didn't quite do this right, did she? I can appreciate her wanting you to look your best (and I hope you can find that appreciation also.) Maybe she really looks up to you, and wants you to be the best (she thinks) you can be, and that includes how you look.

Personally, I would want someone to help me look good, but I'm not sure it was her place to do this "for" you.

Does she, herself, work at being stylish and looking her best? Is she a perfectionist? Does she always try to "help" others this way? It could be she isn't polished in suggestions yet (she is young.)

However, it must have hurt. Is it really sexual harassment though?

If her comment has merit, then take it to heart and seek out a store that has a fitter. If it doesn't have any merit, then brush it aside and try to move on.

If she didn't care, I doubt she would have said anything. Don't judge her for this, she might turn out to be a really good friend in the future.

((((hugs)))

i think it is weird that some one would randomly say that

[MyBestKids2]

I'm going with Sky on this one. Perhaps she looks up to you, and thought you might "like" her if you saw she notices you, be it a positive or not so positve comment. Some of us are a bit more outspoken than others, and I don't think that necessarily a bad thing, do you?

Take care!

[I_WMD]

She said you were hunched over ???

And a few minutes later [ she might have been thinking of a polite way to ask a personal question ]

She asked if you were wearing an underwire brassier ?

Sometimes I think peeps read too much into the most mundane things as compared to life in general ...>>>.Now if she winked , or , blew ya a kiss ???? Then I would wonder .

[LMo]

I agree with Sky. It was probably not the most sensitive way of trying to "help" someone, but it sounds like her heart was in the right place.

Face it - we all look at each other. Doesn't mean that we're thinking lewd thoughts at the same time.

I'm sorry that you're feeling uncomfortable about it. I had someone (a peer at school) tell me the same thing when I was in high school, and actually, she was right. My bras DIDN'T fit me, and since my mom had died 2 years earlier and I had no sisters, she really did do me a favor by making the suggestion.

[youOme]

I don't consider this sexual harassment.

But it was offensive. Maybe she wasn't intending to be that way, but it still wasn't her place to say that you don't sit proper to her standards.

[bflatgary]

It does not sound like harassment to me. Inappropriate, yes, but not harassment.

Sometimes people with the best intentions say things that sound bizarre or out of place.

bfG

[eskielover]

That sounds like my Grandma.....she would find the littlest thing to pick on & then make sure you knew all about it.

Rude.....not really harrassment.

I never could understand where my Grandma was coming from....it wasn't really good intentions either.....she was just a picky old lady all her life....think she was like that with my Mom all her life too....no wonder my Mother had no self -estem.......I was able to ignore & brush her off. My Mother was very sensitive & took all that crap to heart......not a good thing to do.....it's important to be able to put things like that into perspective & not take people like that seriously.....they really have no value to add to your life & I believe that only something that can add value to my life is worth listening to.

Just put it where it belongs.......not serious & out of your mind....unless you want to try what she has to say....if it might make you feel better.

I remember standing hunched over....at 5'2" that's kinds hard cause then I was really short...but I was embarrassed when I was growing up & one of the neighborhood guys noticed that I was developing....mind you, my girl development ended at a AA bra size, so there wasn't really anything there in the first place, but I was embarrassed.

What helped the hunched over was when I started taking ballroom dancing....wow.....when you float around the dance floor in the correct position......it's amazing how straight & proud you stand......for me, ballroom dancing & dressage riding did more than any underwires could possibly do.....lol

Don't sweat the little stuff,
Debbie

[Soidhonia]

Hello (((YACK))). I am sorry for the issues that you are having at this time. I dont think she meant the statement to be a sexual intrusive remark, but more of a statement to help you with your issues that you may not be aware of yourself. I dont think or feel that it is exactly appropriate, but maybe her advice could be used in a helpful manner no less. If the persons advice becomes constant or bothersome then there should be concern for what this person is getting at exactly besides being concerned for your well being. Then action should be taken for harassment if warranted in order to allow you to come into an appropriate workplace. Take care (((YACK))). I hope things get better soon. Soidhonia

[Peanuts]

I don't think this was harrassment either. It sounds like this person is lacking in social graces .. she probably meant well.