What am I supposed to do now?!

So yesterday I came home from being away all weekend, and I was really sick, I had a migraine and last night I spent my whole night in the bathroom. So I was talking to my mom and she took away my computer because I failed english, and I told her that the computer was not the problem. She said that I need to stop being so self-absorbed, and that depression is no excuse for failing school. She was complaining because I don't talk to her anymore and I told her that it's because the only time I talk to her, she ends up yelling at me. She said it's the only way to talk to me. I asked her if she thought it was a better idea to punish me than get me help, and she was like how do you want me to help, and I told her find me a therapist. She also said that I'm exactly like every other teenager, and that she does know how I feel because she's been through it. Well obviously she doesn't know how I feel if she treats me like this. But here's the fun part. Her cure for depression: "Suck it up and deal with it." Ok mom, you try to live like me for a day. She says it's not good for me to go on this site because I talk to other people who cut and it makes me think about it all the time, and "dwell on my problems." I think about it every minute of the day no matter if I go on pc or not! I told her it's a support site, but she doesn't believe me. She just can't get it through her thick head that the computer is not what's causing my problems. She is in complete denial, and won't listen to anything I say. I am so sick of her, this is the last straw with her. I am f-ing fed up with her, and I can't wait until I get my license because I'm running away and I'm not coming back.

edit: Also this morning, after I told her I hate going to school because I hate being bullied today, she said "You need to toughen up."

I wish i knew what to say...
is your mom going to get you a therapist or no?
what does it take for your mom to see that you need her more then ever

She said she's calling around today to find one.
I'm done trying with her because if she can't support me than I don't care. She can f off for all I care because at this point I don't want her help; she's not helping.

mandy just take a deep breath and remember everything happens for a reason.
I believe in you and I know that you can get through this.
We are in this togehther remember?
One more year and we are free.
college here we come remember?
just look at how fast this year went.
and the summer is just 2 months away
it is going to be the best summer ever
and then our last year of highschool
we are almost there
ii love you

Mandy, as someone who was terribly traumatized by abuse in school, I feel your pain. And my family didn't know what to do about it either.

Your Mom is undoubtedly grasping at straws. As a parent myself, I can say that you get desperate when your child has a problem that's hard to fix. I'm sorry she's being more of a problem than a help but try to be patient as she's coming at your situation with her own emotional baggage too.

A therapist will be a great asset. I hope that search goes well.

Cyran0

I agree with Cyrano - she probably is trying to help but doesn't really quite know how.

Definitely keep trying to find a therapist. And maybe look into some kind of support group for families - I have heard of these done by NAMI and other organizations - they can help your parents / family understand how to help you and how NOT to help you.

And even if you can't post here for a while, know that we're all still here supporting you and hoping for the best for you.

((((((((((((((((( mandy )))))))))))))))))))

Honey, both you and your mom are in my prayers.

KD

> even if you can't post here for a while

Libraries have Internet-connected computers...

I really wish I had some super duper wise words, but if I were you I would write your mom a letter.

Tell her everything you want about really truly feeling like you need help. Tell her how you feel about her dismissing your feelings.
Then you can leave the letter for her to find, on the kitchen table, on a mirror....wherever you think she will find it. Do it before you leave for school so that she has the day to read it and think about it.

The reason I would do that is because she won't have a chance to stand there and argue with you or put you down or dismiss you. She will HAVE to sit with it for the day and then, hopefully, will realize that you are trying to be a bigger person, a mature person, one who knows what they need to be happy. Maybe at the end of the day she will come to you and just talk....not argue.

I really hope something great comes of your situation. I am really glad that you know what you need and want with life. Keep pushing her...maybe she'll see your efforts to improve your quality of life.



BJ

I'm so sorry your mom is being so cold hearted towards you...it really sounds as if she doesn't wanna accept that you have more problems than she's equipped to deal with and she just wants to blame it on other things.

(((((mandazzle)))))
this brought back alot of feelings and memories...your relationship with your mum sounds very smilar to the way mine was. But I am pleased to say that now, having my own children and having been through so much with them, we actually have a fairly well-functioning relationship (on a superficial level at least lol). I gotta admit that the best thing towards this was leaving home, but not til after school when i went away to uni. I had plans to run away but in retrospect that would not have helped. IMO you are lucky your mum knows a bit about your struggles; while she may not seem supportive at least she is doing things to help (e.g. looking for a t for you)- my mother only found out about my SI 4yrs ago and even on Sat night asked if I had had any 'relapses' (I have never stopped, I just don't have THAT much of an open relationship with her!).
Sorry for rambling so much, what I most wanted to say is that I understand, I remember the hurt and pain you appear to have now, and I hope that with all your supports things will be ok for you

(((((everyone)))))
My mom said she got me one so she just needs to call for an appointment. I'm scared though...