[wisewoman]

I feel old. I feel like my life has passed so quickly while I was busy trying to stay alive. Now I have health problems. Mostly degenerative disks and fractures. I have to be on meds, I am in pain a lot, and I have gained a lot of weight. I feel like an old lady. I feel like my kids grew up when I wasn't looking and I miss my son so badly it makes me cry. I don't think he will ever move back east. He is in Seattle now. I feel anxious in my body all of the time. I like my house a lot but then I hate my neighbor who bought the house next door 15 years ago and starts trouble all of the time. He ruined a fence we had put up to make better neighbors by leaning stuff on it and the town couldn't do anything. I think we should move out west sometime but that would be such a drastic move and I don't know how I would do with that. We have lived in this house for 21 years. I have been doing work in and on the house for over a year and it's starting to look nice again.

I feel like my body betrayed me. I feel like everyone just grows up and dies. Well, not everyone since I have seen many children die. My dog is ill and I brought him to the vet a week ago and I need to have him seen again.

I would like to hear from people who have moved cross country and stayed there. The other thing that has me very worried is the economy. I used to spent $60-70 a week for 5-6-7 of us and Friday I spent $140 on 2 of us. I didn't get anything fancy either. My daughter was home from college this weekend and that was nice but she will go off on her own soon so that will really hurt. I ache.

[gimmeice]

((((((((((((((wisewoman)))))))))))

[Perna]

Yes, I'm working with those feelings too, wisewoman. I don't think moving will make that much of a difference for very long. I moved 2-1/2 years ago from my huge rambler of 20 years to a tiny townhouse on the water, a dream house sort of thing we never thought we'd be able to afford. But now I'm fretting just like with the rambler only now it's about not having "enough" space (instead of too much, one extreme to the other ) and struggling to simplify. One reason I wanted to move then was my one neighbors whom I loved were getting extremely elderly, in their 90's and I didn't want to live there when one of them died (they have good local family support and many many friends so I didn't feel like I was abandoning them and the people who bought our house were very good, I told the woman to "take care" of them or I'd come get her :-)

I worry all the time that my husband being older will get sick or die soon; I'm the youngest child and my next younger brother just turned 60 this year, my stepsister turned 70. It's harder to find things to interest me as I've either tried things I thought would interest me or rejected things so there are fewer "choices"; not like I can take up skiing or something now. Now that I'm retired there's not even the idea of changing jobs or careers to interest me and so much advertising is based on working. I feel a little out of it, like I should be in a home somewhere and having aides try to cheer me up or keep me occuppied with little craft projects or something.

I have lots of chronic health complaints and have to worry if they're be better/worse when my husband and I decide to do something, to plan a trip or activity. My husband and I have different problems too so if one of us is well, the other might not be.

I have found a primary interest in writing and a couple other backup ones (genealogy and travel to places I'd like to see/research the genealogy) so the "work"/what to do is okay at the moment. I still read a great deal and have gotten back into reading before I go to bed at night which I find very pleasant and relaxing and look forward to enough that I will not watch TV but go to bed in good time instead.

I'm attacking the clutter (just put a bookshelf together for the bottom of my stairs instead of piling stuff there; and ordered shelving for a "photo" area (we have no place to put larger photos so I have all my old family ones "stored". Son/daughter-in-law and grandkids keep giving us pictures of the kids and projects they have done and I have no place to put them so I'm creating a place)) and my husband is helpful doing vacuuming (my asthma doesn't like stirring up dust and cat hair) but even with the smaller space it's hard for me to keep up.

I have a plan for and am attacking my weight and eating habits and activity level to see if I can help some of my chronic stuff. It has been really acting up the last week or so so I'm even more determined than ever. I've been studying online to see what helps; I really love this food site: http://whfoods.org/ But still, undoing and making stuff better is slow, hard work and that's discouraging to me too. I'm tired.

One of my favorite quotes of all time is from Field Marshal General Ferdinand Foch, the WWI French General who was in charge of the Allies: </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
My right has been rolled up. My left has been driven back. My center has been smashed. I have ordered an advance from all directions.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[50guy]

Well, sometimes I feel like life moved to fast but, I am happy to be alive.

I moved from Pennsylvania to California to New Jersey to Minnesota to North Carolina to Minnesota to Arizona to Minnesota to New Jersey to Minnesota. How's that for moving around? I have no regrets about it and it cost a lot of money. It is one of the reasons I don't have a lot of money. I could have been a millionaire if I stayed put.

Yes, it is more expensive for food and necessities but, that is life. As for weight gain, well I lost 27 lbs in 18 months by cutting out trans fats from my diet and I only eat organic.
It is a bit more costly but, I want to live a healthy and happy life.

Currently, I am getting ready to pull the RV up to the lake and enjoy the summer. One day just might pack up the wife and cat and take off for places anew.

edited to add....be back soon, I'm going for an hour bike ride.

Have a great day.

[wisewoman]

Thanks to both of you. The weight is from neurontin and not being able to move around a lot. I also have a bad habit of not eating to break. I like the idea of staying at the lake. I love to swim and though I have been ordered not to do crawl, I can still swim. I can bike also but it bothers my back. I need to get interested in something. I was thinking about moving closer to son in a few years. I so want my family around me. I have stayed in bed today. Unwise as I never sleep well at night but comfortable just the same. I am worried about money so much and yet I just ordered direct TV in hopes that I will spend more time downstairs with spouse. I have lost my glasses quite well and need to get new ones. I have many books to read. I think that will be a first step, ordering glasses.

[wisewoman]

I feel poopy. Yuck