[wisewoman]

I was chatting with some folks last week about needing a lot of pain meds as well as taking anti-depressants and a sleeping pill in addition to tummy meds. I had asked my doc to wean me off the sleeper which she did and the reduced dose worked but when I stopped, I stopped sleeping. I have been worried about my intake of pain meds, worried about addiction. I ran out of the strong ones and basically had decided I wanted to go to PT to see if they could help. Yesterday I went to the doc and layed it all out, that I was sick of all of the drugs, worried about addiction, worried about tylenol and my liver, worried about severe pain because when it's here it is just the most unbearable pain in the world. I have been taking narcotics and my tolerance has built, I used to be so drugged on so little. I have had such severe pain that I think I am traumatized by it. Weird thing is that I used to just put up with it and try anything I could to ease it, floating, lying on my back etc. Now I am intolerant of it and I seem to be having it all of the time. so she gave me more pain meds, gave me the smaller dose of the sleeper that worked and told me not to worry about addiction and to take the meds when I needed to and that I was not taking enough to worry about my liver. She also recommended Yoga which I later decided to not take a class due to time and expense. So what I did do was inquire about a local health club and pool and then arrange to get P.T. in the pool so I can learn what to do and then I will just get a membership. The pool is very close to my office as opposed to the yoga class and I can sneak out anytime available to float and swim. I feel good about these things. Discussed again today with T, the fear of pain and the fact that I am taking mega pills. She went through the whole thing about pain management which I know professionally but not personally. I grew angry and said I was too darned young to be in chronic pain and on the amount of drugs which are DEPRESSANTS. She helped me work it through and I am optomistic that the P.T. will help. But, I was on my computer at work a lot today and then was filing and my back really started hurting. I took 2 vicodin at 4:30. When I came home I was doing a little laundry and bang, my lower back started. I took 2 percoset. It is getting to feel wrong for me to be taking meds like that and I was not thinking when I took the second dose that I had just taken some 2.5 hours earlier so indeed I did get too much tylenol into my body. I am too darned young and have always been healthy, could move sofa beds myself, threw bales of hay like pillows and had the stamina of a mule. Not now. I have bulging disks and desication of disks. I also have an old injury in upper back which adds to the fun. So, I am just putting this all out there, processing. If someone came and took my drugs tonight I would freak out. Does that mean I am an addict? I would want them back in a hurry. I have had children and have had injuries and surgeries, this is the worst pain I have ever known. Babies are a breeze, root canals a walk in the park. That is how bad the pain is and I am not accepting it and just living with it any longer. I have spent many days in the past flat on my back with my legs up. Sorry to ramble, just wanting to paint the whole picture here. What do you all think?

[SS8282]

((((((((((((((((((ww)))))))))))))))))))))) sorry you're in so much pain. The pool thing sounds good. If you'd like to try inexpensive yoga, there are books and tapes that you can follow. Also, I've heard that accupuncture helps.

Wish I can help. ( Big hugs.

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((((((((((((( ww )))))))))))))))))))))))))

Here are some things I know about chronic pain, and living with it. I share some of your fears as we discussed. I've lived with chronic facial pain since I was 20 and had the first reconstructive surgery to my right maxiallary sinus...from there it got worse.

I was worried about addiction as well and my pain management specialist said, "According to a well done Harvard study (along with others), people who take narcotics for pain may become physically dependent but not psychologically addicted, and the psychological addiction is where the real trouble lies. There is a difference between use and abuse. I use, I don't abuse. I get no "high"." She also said, "Physical dependence is much easier to overcome if and when it's appropriate for a patient. Psychological addiction is hard to overcome."

I guess you need to decide whether or not you abuse you medication, if you're taking it for a "high" as opposed to managing pain. If you're "using" your medication to attempt to function more normally in life, then chances are you are not "addicted". This, however, does not mean that your body doesn't have a physical depence to these meds...you couldn't quit taking them cold turkey. You need to decide within yourself that it's ok to use the medications meant for people like us and know that that's what they're made for.

I struggled with these issues too ww. I was put on something that had much less tylenol and feel better about possible damage to liver. If your dr is aware of all the meds that you're on and she feels that your within the guidelines of daily acetomenophen use, then you probably are.

I hate taking meds ( 1 med ) everyday, throughout the day, but then I look back to my life before them...the e.r. visits, the dr visits, the almost bankruptcy due to so many visits, the lack of respect from family tired of my complaining, my much decreased emtional health due to pain issues, etc...the list goes on. When I look back, I realize that even though I don't like it, it's much better than the alternative.

I hope this helps you some, and remember...there's a difference between use and abuse.

Be safe,

Kimmydawn

[wisewoman]

I don't know how to answer the question about do I use these drugs to make me feel better emotionally. I think the answer is no but I am conscious of it. I do not want to be addicted. But, bigger still, I do not want pain. Good to be cognicent of the dangers and realize the dangers. I am a young soul and I refuse to live in pain and become a victim of it.

[ktp]

((((((Wisewoman)))))))

I'm sorry for your pain and I'm sorry for your worries over the amount of pain meds.

Chronic pain sucks. Plain and simple. My husband is 29. He has nerve damage, arthritis and his right middle PIP joint is "blowing out", as in no longer there, it's bone on bone. He is a machinist. And that was a work related injury that is 5 years old. His biggest obstacle seems to be not being able to get ENOUGH relief. Nobody wants to give him what he needs to control his pain, so we are in a process of elimination, trying to give him back his quality of life, atleast a small part of what he had before. He had PT and it helped for awhile but since it's degenerative arthrosis caused by a crush injury to all the fingers on his right hand (two were amputated), it's only getting worse. He has lost some of his range of motion and has ALOT of pain, it's so heartbreaking to watch. I know it's even harder for him to have to live through it.

You are a young soul and you should refuse to live in pain! I think as long as you keep yourself in check, everything will be fine. You should NEVER have to be in pain. Not nowadays.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

Take Care of yourself,
Kimberly.

[eskielover]

I agree with Kimmydawn. I finally found a pain specialist who practices with the goal to "improve my quality of life". I had been on so many narchotics to kill my migraine pain. That was after I had tried all the known migraine meds like imitrex & had a neck fusion because I was told it would help...the neck was actually messed up 30 yrs before by a fall over a horses ears. No Dr could find a solution to the pain, or only half way got there. I ended up in the ER every 3 days for a demoral shot (200 mg). Of course, they thought I was "drug seeking" when I was only "pain relief seeking".

I have had a pain specialist for over a year now who practices the "quality of life" concept since I have had every procedure known to mankind. He put me on 2 100ug Duragesic Fentynal patches. I was amazed that I actually felt no pain for once in the last 9 years. Quit going to the ER..guess I wasn't demoral seeking afterall...

His definition of addiction is that you use a medication for the feel you get from it (and that feel is a hign, not releif of pain). That usually means that you go through your meds before they are to be prescribed. Tolerance it when your body needs more & more of a med. If you are stable without needing an increase, then your body has not built up a tolerance. I have been on this level of patch for over a year & feel the same pain releif as I did when I started. I have never felt a "high" from it, only a releif from pain. I am on an extremely high level of narchotics, & they do blood tests for liver & kidney function. This med also effects the breathing, so they constantly check my breathing especially after being in the hospital for severe bronchitis. I really didn't want that to be a permanent part of my life, but given the choice of living with chronic migraine pain or being able to live & enjoy life...I think I will take the later.

The best thing about the patches is that I only have to change them every 72 hrs & don't have to take pills at a certain time.

I hope you come to terms with your medication because once you do, then your quality of life can really be yours.

Good luck,
Debbie

[wisewoman]

Thanks for the words of wisdom. Good to know there are other sufferers out there. Yes my body has built up a tolerence. That's one of the things that scares me. Thank you both for validation.