[Wants2Fly]

Some recent posts have discussed how words program our experiences negatively or positively. Another recent post was a notice that a forum member was reverting to a previous user name, having adopted a temporary one due to a computer problem.

I look at some of the user names and wonder whether they are beneficial for recovery. Take my own -- Wants2Fly. Will I always be stuck in "wanting" to fly -- but never get to spreading my wings and feeling that life "is my oyster" waiting to be plucked from the great sea of experience?

In fact, I've been thinking about changing it to something else. Perhaps Salima, my Sufi name, which means the Deep Peace. Which is, in my case, also an aspiration rather than a realization.

I'm interested in hearing from those who would like to share on such questions as:

* How did you choose your login name? What does it mean to you?

* Is it fair to other users on the forums to change a user name (not bec. of something like a computer glitch, which is out of one's control, but just because one feels like it)?

* What do you think would be the best qualities for a user name to embody? Should it be a variation of our "real-life" name? Should it express how we feel at the time we become members? Or what we'd like to be? Or some largely unvarying quality of who we are?

I'll be interested in finding out what you think.

[silver_queen]

My screen name comes from a name given to a plant: "Ilex aquifolium 'Silver Queen'" (holly)>> http://www.bbc.co.uk/gardening/plant...ges/6367.shtml << lol
since when my dad was working out what plants to put in the garden, I helped him with the research, and got to know quite a bit about plants myself lol. Unfortunately the 'Silver Queen' holly died earlier this year: an omen? lol.

I suppose you should only change your username if you feel that it really doesn't suit you any more and if you feel uncomfortable with it. People do get used to usernames though. I feel quite attached to mine: I love being called Silver lol. When people change their usernames it only creates confusion and then you have to constantly remind yourself that x's username is now y.

I think people should choose usernames which are meaningful to them, or which they believe symbolizes themselves in some way. As you pointed out Wants2, sometimes people chose names that they want to aspire to, such as 'Wants2Fly', 'tryin2bme', 'wanttoheal,' whereas others are more personal. I don't like my real-life name and I like to keep it private: only one person online actually knows it lol. So basically it comes down to the fact that usernames are very much an individual choice when it comes down to expressing oneself online.

[jbug]

My username is from a childhood nickname. We had this older lady that was a friend of the family and she'd call me Janniebug even though my name is Janet.....I go by Jan now though. I didn't like my other childhood nickname Janetbananet just because it irked me to no end. On some other sites I used to be known as Greatbigsquash from veggietales, Eeyorelover because I adore eeyore and for awhile was piglet1971 because I was having some anxiety problems and piglet seems to have some high anxiety and 1971 because that was the year I was born. Other than that I don't mind if people know my real name because you can't do much with just a first name I don't give out my last name because its unusual and then I could be found.

Janniebug

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I look at some of the user names and wonder whether they are beneficial for recovery.

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That's a large assumption to make. Not everyone chooses a screen name connected to their healing. Some might. Mine certainly had no bearing on that when I chose it.

Last night in chat someone chose to pick apart my name and derive their own meaning out of it. If that is what they need to do for whatever reasons (maybe it feels good to put others down for this person?) then fine but please do not include me in it. Thank goodness for the ignore feature both in chat and here on the board!

I have a farily good grasp of the English language and am quite aware of how my name can be interpreted.

I think anyone here should be allowed to register under whatever name they choose to best fit themselves. I'm not the admin so I have no idea as to what falls in the appropriate category and what is not allowed.

[SpazKatt]

Well my user name describes me very much, my friends from highschool as well as my aunt call me a Spaz, cuz I get upset really easily and "spaz" out. Katt is a variation on my name and I prefer people to call me Katt online rather than my "real" name. I've had my user name on AOL as this for 4 years now and I dont want to change it I love it tons!

[Wants2Fly]

Well, Zen, I doubt that "wondering" about something is an "assumption." In fact, it seems to me to be the oppostite of assuming. That's why I asked about what people's names mean to them -- exactly so I don't get locked into assumptions.

right o.

[Mahali]

My user name is from the sociology theory of you are who you are because of the "place-in-space" that you occupy. The way you were raised, the people around you, everything. I have always thought about this since I was in the class (about a thousand years ago). lol
I like it mostly because it is simple, (kind of like me) *grins*
I think people pick names that mean something to them or what they want others to know about them.
The names people choose and why they chose them are probably more telling than we can imagine.
Using myself as an example...I wonder if I had been raised under different circumstances, would I have anxiety issues. I just wonder sometimes, so the theory stuck in my head.
I think the names are personal and as long as they are not damaging or insulting to anyone they are OK.

Good question. It never hurts to think...well sometimes a little headache. : )

place

[wisewoman]

Hmm, I think we all should just choose what works for us and have it respected. My only problem is with names that put people down like crapcake or whatever. We shouldn't name ourselves that way. No one should.

[jetblackaura]

My user name is lyrics from a song that i like alot, and i guess in some ways it represents me when i'm not feeling too great.

I think that it's cool to have some anonymity (is that even a word, lol?) but it doesnt really bother me, i suppose it's just what each person is comfortable with.

it does get abit annoying though when people constantly change their usernames, because it becomes confusing.

Interesting questions though, wants2

[adieuolivaw]

Wants2Fly --- I shall never speak to you again (is that a threat or a promise?) if you change your name, because I find it most charming and cheerful and symbolic of a state of growth. And that is my most biased, stubborn, unchangeable, remorseless opinion. And because I love it a lot.

I like the continuity of seeing the same names in the forums. For me it would be very confusing if a person changed nicknames. It's been difficult enough learning the FIRST set of names!

I wouldn't SHOULD on people, however, about their right to change names. How could I? I have changed my own name in the 3D world! Guilty, guilty, guilty! LOL

I probably use my own nickname to say hello to those who are of like mind. The great writer, Isaac Asimov, passed away a few years ago. His most famous science fiction character was arguably the all-too-human robot, Daneel Olivaw. I say arguably because Elijah Bailey, one of Asimov's human characters, was perhaps equally beloved. There will be no more DANEEL novels. I miss him terribly. GOODBYE DANEEL somehow morphed into ADIEU OLIVAW, recognizable to readers of the genre. To those of you who are still awake, thank you for your patience. LOL

[kimmydawn]

i chose something that i could relate to at all times in some way or another. my username is a variation of my name which is kimberly dawn. my poppy used to call me kimmydawn and it makes me feel good.

i didn't want to chose a name relating to "feeling" because i feel to many different feelings at various times to be able to relate. too, almost all of me, recognizes and will respond to kimmy, kim, kimmydawn, etc.

that's why i chose my username and have stuck with it here and many others places.

((((((((((((((((( zh )))))))))))))))))) i'm sorry that happened to you regarding your username.

be safe,

kd

[Wants2Fly]

Yes, Zen, I also am sorry that others picked apart your user name. Thanks for reminding me of my manners, Kimmy! Also, I think there is something rather charming about Zenhussy, altho I undoubtedly bring my own "place" perceptions to how I interpret it.

It is fascinating to find out how people chose their names and why. Thanks all who have responded so far -- and I hope there will be more.

[Maya]

My first answre to this post was deleted - but I will try it again. I would love to change my user name (and I think DocJohn can approve such a move if we apply). I could not think of anything else when I signed on and Mars does not fit me in any way, shape or form. If I could change it would be to Maya - I would even consider changing my legal name from Mary (which I hate) to Maya if given the opportunity. So, yes, I think we should be given the opportunity - we could use both for a time until people got used to the new name then gradually drop the old. The old could be part of our signature line.

[SweetCrusader]

Hey adieuolivaw, for the record, I think you are so adorable and entertaining! I enjoyed your response to this thread

Ok, my username. Well it comes from an Alanis song (BIG SHOCK, right? lol!) The song is called "Mary Jane" and it's a good portrait of depression, pain, and cycling through it over and over again basically. I relate to the whole song and sometimes I listen to it and imagine she's singing it to me. In ways, I use it to help myself say "it's not that bad. don't throw your life away because you insist on hurting like this. Other times, I use it to say "take care of yourself, and be real. be true to your feelings". Other times, I use it as inspiration for reaching toward growth. The last reason is the reason I chose "SweetCrusader" as my username. Here is the phrase from the song that relates to my username: "You're the sweet crusader, and you're on your way." To me, that's the statement that, no I am not perfect or even basically healthy right now, but I'm on my way there and life is about the process, not the end result. I decided I was the "sweet crusader" because my crusade is my own healing, changing my self, and then eventually (hopefully) helping other people do it for themselves, too. I like the sweet part because it's a reminder to be gentle with myself along the way. Not a crusader who shoves in and says "change or die!" (which is sometimes my approach to myself! lol!)- but one who says, it's time to heal. It feels very gentle to me, and I like that. I like the thought of gentleness in helping my future clients, too.

I really strongly relate to MOST of the song, though- not just that line. I relate to the depression, the endless cycles, losing the joy and excitement of life, feeling down on myself, not being able to sleep, learning to "take this moment and be selfish" (re: self-care), etc. And Alanis sings it in a soft, nurturing-sounding voice, so I feel accepted and like it's ok to be who I am when I hear it. That probably sounds so cheesy. Anway, I know I've already yammered on, but here are the lyrics:

MARY JANE

What's the matter Mary Jane, you had a hard day
As you place the don't disturb sign on the door
You lost your place in line again, what a pity
You never seem to want to dance anymore

It's a long way down
On this roller coaster
The last chance streetcar
Went off the track
And you're on it

I hear you're counting sheep again Mary Jane
What's the point of tryin' to dream anymore
I hear you're losing weight again Mary Jane
Do you ever wonder who you're losing it for

Well it's full speed baby
In the wrong direction
There's a few more bruises
If that's the way
You insist on heading

Please be honest Mary Jane
Are you happy
Please don't censor your tears

You're the sweet crusader
And you're on your way
You're the last great innocent
And that's why I love you

So take this moment Mary Jane and be selfish
Worry not about the cars that go by
All that matters Mary Jane I your freedom
Keep warm my dear, keep dry

Tell me
Tell me
What's the matter Mary Jane

[SweetCrusader]

P.S. This is probably stupid, but the line at the end where it says "keep warm my dear, keep dry" really touches me. Sometimes makes me cry. It's so nurturing to me. And my therapist often says things like "well, my dear...", so sometimes I imagine it as her telling me "keep warm, my dear, keep dry" lol

[adieuolivaw]

Yes, Mars (errrrr, Maya). I've seen that done before. It was a great help to see the old name on the sig line.

[(JD)]

Mars that's a good idea... old s/n part of the signature line...

[Nerak]

My name is Karen - Nerak is Karen spelled backward - when I was in school there were a few of us Karen's so I got Nerak then :-)

[SpazKatt]

oh neato! how do you pronounce that?

I appreciate the way this discussion is evolving and that you and I came to understand one another. Thank you for being open to discussion and allowing me to try to explain in a PM.

This is quite fascinating and it is nice that people want to share.

A true showing of our individuality!

Thanks Fly! I saw that and if that's what you like then you are now nicknamed Fly in my book.

You so fly Fly! love it! Very hip.

[Maya]

What a wonderful way to choose a name - and what a wonderful story of the choice. Thank you, SweetCrusader for sharing it and the song. I have never heard the song before. I will have to try to find it somewhere so I can here it. Thank you again - Mars (Maya)

[SeptemberMorn]

Hi, "Will Fly!" There's nothing wrong with projecting a future wish or expectation. Have you heard the saying "Fake it till you make it"? Have you seen the first Land Before Time? It's a children's story but I loved it right along with my youngest son. In the story, there are some baby dinasaurs that have become separated from their parents and are trying to find their way to a new place. There is a baby taradactil that doesn't know how to fly yet. His name is Petrie. The rest of the babies encourage him to fly every chance they get but it's a while before he manages to do it. Every time he manages to catch air and lands or thuds, he asks "I flied?" Ducky, his best friend usually says "You felled." Finally, in a really tight pinch, Petrie actually flies. He asks his usual question and Ducky, all excited says "You flied, Petrie! You flied!" One of these days, either you will realize it or someone will tell you "You flied!"

[nothemama8]

We chose ours after the show Dinasours, when the baby says Not the Mama also everyone here calls me Mama Angie cuz I'm nurturing, and the enforcer when they do something inapropriate, just like a mother figure lol
Angie

[SpazKatt]

OMG that was the BEST show!!! My favorite episode was "Hurling Day"