still harping on the job/coworker subject

O.K. I know everything I'm saying is only my side but if all of you could assume I'm being accurate and my perception is right - my problem at work is ongoing as I just found out the man who wants to see me quit (he knows he can't come out and tell people I have an illness or that that's grounds to fire a person) he's been forging a "friendship" with 2 friends of mine and swearing them to secrecy about it. Of course they told me- but my question is what's he after , and does this sound like it borders on something illeagally maliscious? He knows I could tell the boss stuff about him using me at work but I'm not going to. He threatened to charge ME with harassment for telling him to leave my friends alone! He called me on the phone and yelled stay out of my life BI***! What is he trying to pull? He thinks he's Alfred Hitchcock and can "gas Light" me into retreating? What do people like that want?

JMOHO I think he wants to control you plain and simple. You did not mention if he is angry at you for something you did to him in the past so I'm assuming he does not have a gridge on you.

If he does not have a grude on you, I think it is safe to say he is an evil man that wants to see you quit because that is an ego booster for him and his friends.

That being said it is a very sad world we live in and so many people are very demented by the notion it's okay to kill people emotionally just as long as you do not harm them physically.

I really hope you are able to keep your job. If you feel you must quit, I wish you the best of luck in the future!

Wow what a miserable situation in which to be!!!! Now, I know they are your friends... can you fully trust them, though, if their jobs are on the line also? Did the information about the guy wanting to get rid of you only from your friends?

One of the problems is that when we have mental unwellness, we can more easily suspect and believe bad news.

First, you need to document any thing you can about how you are being trated vs how others are. Write down what your co workers told you. Keep a log, keep it private. In the log note the date, time and people involved.

If you do have info that denotes illegal actions, then you can contact the higher ups. If you are THEN fired, you can win a case under the Whistle Blower Act.

It's not fun. And it may very well be beyond your ability to cope. If this didn't happen in so many workplaces today, I would encourage you to look for another job. You might still want to have a few irons in the fire, so to speak, anyway.

Thanks-
I worked there 10 mos already but this guy is my superior and he likes to flirt and he knows about my problems in my marriage because he encouraged me to think he's a friend and got me to help him get a new guy fired and he knows some of my triggers from sexual abuse and programming in childhood- he caught me off-guard and I was an IDIOT for confiding. I thought we had stuff in common and I thought I owe him something and even was part of me ready to cheat on my husband to pay him back for befriending me- ALSO my friends he's talking to are not from work, he saw them outside work after I introduced them . They told him to get lost and now I'm scared about what's next around every corner,

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Wow what a miserable situation in which to be!!!! Now, I know they are your friends... can you fully trust them, though, if their jobs are on the line also? Did the information about the guy wanting to get rid of you only from your friends?

One of the problems is that when we have mental unwellness, we can more easily suspect and believe bad news.

First, you need to document any thing you can about how you are being trated vs how others are. Write down what your co workers told you. Keep a log, keep it private. In the log note the date, time and people involved.

If you do have info that denotes illegal actions, then you can contact the higher ups. If you are THEN fired, you can win a case under the Whistle Blower Act.

It's not fun. And it may very well be beyond your ability to cope. If this didn't happen in so many workplaces today, I would encourage you to look for another job. You might still want to have a few irons in the fire, so to speak, anyway.



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II agree with Sky it is hard to win a case in court like you have. Allot of aggervation, money, time, etc. Plus, it is so easy for management to eliminate your position if they see you as a risk. All the ywould have to do is find one mark on your record or just fabricate something on the spot.

I think it would just be so much easier to find another job if that is possible.

I typed reply to post b4 I read Skybdark post- so you see I have nothing at work on him EXCEPT that he did solicit my cooperation(Coorsion?) in getting someone else to look bad and get fired - so maybe he's afraid I have something on him? But it's my word against his and IM NOT QUITTING! sorry to raise my voice.

Yep sounds like you need a new place anyway.... tough lesson learned, confiding in co workers and bosses... you HAVE learned, right???/ But still, he should not be able to use private information against you like he has, and going outside work to talk about you is just wrong!

Can you approach HIS supervisor with your concerns? I wouldn't do this till after you have a few resumes out though... just in case the boss doesn't want conflict.

IIt might be best for you to find another job. Don't let anyone know. With that approach, the stress of what is going on around you might lessen, and if you find another job before the guy makes a case against you, you will have a good job reference to use.

I actually do have a job interview on the 4th at another museum (I'm a Historic Interpreter and folk artist) so I'm going to reign everyone in and circle the wagons AND KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT until after that happens ( I'm yelling at self to be heard not you guys) Thanks for talking about this to me