[Martina]

I got fired on Monday. I had missed too much work because I kept calling in sick. They finally got fed up with me missing work, and fired me.

I was calling in sick because I was in a deep pit of depression and couldn't drag myself out of bed in the mornings. I have both Bipolar II Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder.

My psych nurse thinks it could be related to the medication we just changed. Every time we try to get me off Zyprexa, things get out of control. So I guess I will be permanently on that medication, even though I have already gained 50 pounds and I'm at risk of diabetes.

I don't know what to do. I was the main breadwinner in my family. We are down to about 1/3 of our income. At my husband's salary, we qualify for WIC and food stamps. That's how little he makes. He works at a grocery store.

I am an accountant. I am close to getting my CPA license, but I don't have it yet. I already passed 2 sections of the CPA exam, but I still need to pass two more sections of the exam and an ethics exam. It could take me 6 months to get my license.

I really want to take the time off to finish studying for the exam. But I just don't know how to pay the bills in the meantime.

I was in & out of the psych hospital this summer due to multiple suicide attempts. During that time, we used up a large amount of our emergency savings, and racked up all our lines of credit to pay the bills when I was out of work.

We now have $22,000 in unsecured debt on lines of credit and credit cards, plus $32,000 in vehicle debt, and another $4,000 of medical bills from my hospital stays. And $15,000 in student loans. Total debt $73,000. Yikes. The minimum payments are over $1,300 a month. My husband's net pay is only $2,000 a month, and rent is $900. We are screwed.

We had planned to pay off most of the debt - all but the car loans and student loans - from the land we purchased to build a house. We paid $60,000 for the lot, but only intended to put $20,000 down on the house. So we were planning to get $40,000 cash back at closing. Well....we won't be doing the house now.

We are listing the land to sell, but I have no idea how long it will take to sell. It could take years. The market is really bad.

We can't sell our cars - we are upside down, we owe more than they are worth.

I am freaking out. I don't know what to do.

I filed for unemployment, but I'm not sure if I will be approved since I was fired, not laid off. I did explain in my application that this was all due to an illness.

It is a small company with less than 20 employees, so I am not covered by FMLA. So they are not required to give me time off for illness.

If I don't get approved for unemployment, I am considering filing a discrimination lawsuit against my former employer. It is clear they fired me because I am mentally ill.

But it could take months or years to get a legal settlement, if I even get anything.

My boss is still upset that I left work during the middle of the day twice in July, and did not notify them where I was going. Well guess what, I was going home to commit suicide, so notifying my employer was not exactly on my to-do list at the time. He knew about my illness, he was in contact with my psych nurse. One of my supervisors at work was the one who drove me to the psych hospital 3 hours away. They knew what was going on.

I am so scared. We have never gone behind on a payment, never. We have excellent credit. I am so scared we will wind up in bankruptcy.

I was already in a deep depression, and all this stress over money is only exasperating the problem.

I have never held down a "real" job for longer than 2 years at a time. The longest I have worked for any employer was 3 years in high school at a movie theater. I just made a list of all my jobs I have ever worked at, and I have had 23 jobs, not including a handful of temp jobs that I can't remember. I am only 28 years old, and I've had 23 jobs. That is very sad. But I think the instability is also a landmark symptom of my Borderline.

I am hoping and praying that our plot of land sells quickly. But I don't think that is very likely at all.

We just moved to this area 18 months ago, for the job. It is a small town, only 40,000 population, and no other cities close by. There is a 10% unemployment rate. I called every single CPA firm and tax practice in the city, and not a single one is hiring, not even temporary for tax season. I will probably have to get a job waitressing or maybe doing telephone customer service. We will have to work opposite shifts to avoid daycare, because at a lower wage I wouldn't be making any money if I was paying half my paycheck to daycare. (We have a 3-1/2 year old daughter).

I feel so worthless right now. I completely ruined my family. Part of our debt is from my crazy shopping sprees when I'm hypomanic. And I'm fully responsible for getting fired. I should have just dragged myself to work, even though I was depressed.

I don't know what to do.

[Phyliss49]

Martina, I'm so sorry. I lost my job for the same reason. Dragginig yourself to work when you're in the throes of a deep depression is easier said than done.

You said you have great credit. This is a shining light. You can call your creditors and let them know your situation. Many creditors will offer you a hard-ship dispensation where you will not have to make any pymts for 6 months, or will at least lower or cacel interest rates.

As far as feeling that you ruined your family, I felt that at first too. But it was the depression that was running the show, not you.

For now, step back and take a breath. Being fired when you're the breadwinner is so traumatic that we often can't see all our options right away.

I'm here to talk if you need, pm me. You'll be in my thoughts ad prayers.

[madisgram]

i'm so sorry you all are going through this right now. seems like the roof is caving in. it's not your fault tho cause you need help to get u stabililzed and then move ahead with any plans.
the only thought i had was for you to speak with a company that consolidates your debt...i forget the name..but they consolidate and contact your debtors to reduce the interest rate as well. then you only have one payment you make to them for all your creditors. i don't know if this would help make the situation easier or not.
wish i could help you more but hopefully there will be others that may have some better suggestions. i'll pray for you too.

[AAAAA]

I am so sorry that you're going through this. I agree that just dragging yourself to work when you're in that position is impossible. Phyliss is right, contact your creditors and let them know that you lost your job. I know it's impossible, but try to take it one ay at a time.

[multipixie9]

i am so sorry you are in such a difficult place. it is horrible and scary.

the others have given you good advice, another thing you can do it get only where there are many frugality websites that are full of dynamic ways to help save money, pay off debt and not feel deprived about things. many of these will teach you how they got out of debt crisis.

i know you can only take matters one day at a time and calling the creditors is a real good start. another thing is you might learn how to sell things on ebay and off-load some of those hypomanic spending items online and make up some cash that way.

somehow please try to find some support that will help you as you work with your husband to turn things around. don't give up hope!

leslie and her pixies

[Junerain]

Where I live we have V.ocational and E.ducational S.ervices for I.ndividuals with D.isabilities

VESID

It helps with job placements, pays for more training, etc
Hope this helps

contact nami (or the local mental health or disablity services) in your area and see if they can suggest an attorney for you ...one who works for free until you win your case...you were dscimminated against because of your disbaility...it sounds terrible...but file a claim against them (or at least threaten to)...sometimes once you get an attorney on your side it settles an employer down and makes them think a little clearer.

i was forced to file an EOC suit against the federal government when i was getting treated like fecal matter because of disabilities...its amazing how it can stop things and protect you..in your case it might be able to get you some lost wages back as well as your job...granted your workplace might be a little hostile but hey an income is an income (and then you can work on selling your property and getting your license etc while not under such duress).

good luck. plus by having an attorney...he does all the worrying for you!

[Martina]

I found out that my application for Unemployment will have to go through an appeals process, that could take 3-4 weeks, maybe longer, to get benefits.

I did send an email to the attorney that did our wills, asking if she does employment discrimination cases.

My boss is claiming that I didn't call in to tell them I was sick, and he's using that as the excuse for firing me. But I did call in. I called and said "I'm not doing very well, I'm not sure when I will be back." I thought that meant I was out sick until further notice. He is saying I should have called in every single morning to tell him I was still sick.

Oh, and he's also upset that I didn't notify him 2 times in July when I just left the office in the middle of the day without saying a word. Why did I do that? I was on my way home to COMMIT SUICIDE. So notifying my boss wasn't exactly on my to-do list.

One possible bit of good news - I kept my employee handbook, and there is no official policy on any of this written in the book.

But even if I get unemployment, even if I get a lawsuit, even if I get disability...none of those will happen for several months. So how do I pay the bills in the meantime???!

[Tumnus]

Originally Posted by Martina

But even if I get unemployment, even if I get a lawsuit, even if I get disability...none of those will happen for several months. So how do I pay the bills in the meantime???!

A lot of churches have a Benevolence Fund for anyone in the community--not just a church member--who needs assistance paying rent, bills, etc. I know it can feel like crap asking for help but that's what those Funds are set up for. I was kinda poor growing up and I know my church then helped out. Then I lost my job in another town and my church helped me pay rent one month while I looked for another job. My current pastor just reminded the congregation that we have a Benevolence Fund. Three different churches, three different towns, two very different denominations...same mission, same willingness to help.

Love, Inc. may be able to help connect you with resources, too.

Just a thought...

[Phyliss49]

If there is no policy in the employee handbook for calling in every day when out, then you should be ok for unemployment. My employer did have the policy in the book, so no ueploment benefits for me. I had called and said the sae as you, don't know when I'll be in. so depressed, I never thought about the policy, just imstakenly thought them knowing my situation , it was enoough.
Besides calling your creditors, there is an organization that provides people going through a short-term hardship for bills, etc. They also just began a bridge grant for the newly unemployed. http://www.modestneeds.org/

[Phyliss49]

Martina, sorry scratch the bridge grant, they wont grant it if you were fired. However, you ca still apply for help with bills, etc. They helped me pay my ret and electricity some months back.

[KarenT]

I am sorry you lost your job. I to have a difficulty time getting up for work, I also miss a lot of work and my boss is trying to get rid of me.

[cuwire2]

Fighting that daily fog. Someplace between awareness and a dream. Waking up takes more energy than the whold day takes. Hang in there.

[StrawberryFieldsss]

Martina, is there any way your husband can get a better paying job? It just seems a little backwards that you are struggling with illness and he is working a job that carries relatively little pressure.

This may not be much comfort to you, but if your credit gets dinged its NOT the end of the world, especially at your age and at this time in history. There will be plenty of people in the same predicament. I know you probably had plans for the future that relied on maintaining good credit, but the stress of it at this point in time simply is not worth it.

On the practical side, you can call the companies that finance your vehicles and have them tack the payment for the next month on to the end of your loan. Most will do it in cases of emergency. Some of the credit card companies may do it as well.