in need of help from seasoned mommies

The kid in question isn't even mine, but I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

(sorry -- had to get that out of my system.)

I live in an apartment, on the second floor. Directly below me live 2 Russian immigrants with limited English capacity and one child with leather lungs. The woman actually came upstairs once to apologize if the brat bothered me. I said oh no no, everything's fine ... right ... like what are you going to say? I kept thinking of the final episode of MASH, where Hawkeye told the Korean mom on the bus to shut up the baby and she smothered it.

Anyway. This is a very cute little blond girl, 2, maybe 3, named Anita. Anita screams and screams and screams, day in and day out. I've been wondering lately if she's being abused, because every night between 7 and 10, I can hear a male voice talking loudly to her (but not loud enough for me to make out what he's saying) and some noises like thuds or furniture being moved around.

But, today I had the day off. Except for going to teach class from 4 to 6, and an hour at the grocery store, I've been home all day. Anita has been screaming since about 2 p.m.

I am at my wit's end. I can't adequately describe what it sounds like -- it's not just little baby "I'm hungry/cold/tired" crying, it's absolutely hysterical crying, very loud and just painful to listen to. I mean, it's the kind of crying you hear when people get a phone call that someone close to them has died a grisly death, OK? And it goes on for HOURS.

WTF can I do about this?! I lay in bed at night and listen to her scream her head off and it's very triggering, not to mention just annoying as hell. Is there a polite way to suggest to her parents some palliative measure? I love where I live, but I'm damn near ready to get out just to get away from these people. It's unbearable. Not to mention that if she's being abused, I want to report it, but I don't know how to find that out, either.

I'm taking any and all suggestions. Thanks.

Candy

Start with the people who own your apartment. Complain to them first. If that doesn't work and it is an ungodly hour, call the cops. It's distrubing the peace at the least. Plus I would tell them you are concerned for the child.

It's your apartment too. You have the right to sleep and function peacefully.

Hi,

It is natural for a child to cry but not like this. Did you try asking the parent if the child is ill, in pain. There is some kind of illnesses that will make a child cry day or night because time doesn't make any different for them like Autism. It is the only way for this child to communicate because she/he is in his own world. Otherwise there must be something wrong. The child might be abused off.

I cannot tell you what to do. But this doesn't seem right.

Hugs!
nightdream

CALL THE POLICE!........They will investigate immediately.......please do this.......pat

Hi Candy -- Sounds horrid. Wish I had a bright idea, but I've never had to deal with anything like this.

I would call the police...if not them, the apartment managers. I worry about abuse for sure.

Cal the authorities. Human services or the police. If the child is being abused OK but it may be being neglected if it has a condition that is not being properly treated too.

If the child is a brat then they can take steps to become better parents. You deserve your peace too.

Candy - That just doesn't sound right. I agree with those who say to contact authorities. I'd call the National Child Abuse Hotline. They will connect you with a local number.

1-800-4-A-CHILD
(1-800-422-4453)

It's available 24 hours a day and is staffed with professionals. You can describe the problem and do it anonymously. If it turns out to be a not abuse - it's a LEAST a sick child who needs to be taken care of better. Even if this is a "colicy" child, it doesn't need to be yelled at by dad.

emmy

Candy. It must be just horrible to hear a child crying like that, not knowing what the problem is. I would definitely call the numbers that emmy gave you and get their advice or they will check it out for you. You have no way of knowing whether that child is in danger and it MUST be reported.

I'm assuming that the mother offered no explanation when she came to apologize?

I think that the safety of the child must come before anything else. I hope you will call.

Just to let everybody know ....

I called ChildHelpUSA (the 800 number Emmy gave). They referred me to a local number, which turned out to be wrong (big help, hey?), but I was able to get the new number. It was about 10 pm when I called, so I got the after-hours number, told my tale of woe, and was told that, based on what I said, it wasn't enough to send a worker out.

Again I say -- big help, hey?

I was assured that Wisconsin state law mandates citizen reports of abuse to police must be anonymous, so the next time I'm up for 3 hours because of a screaming kid, I'll call the police. But, my apartment is "secure" -- locked lobby -- the police will have to wake up the managers (in another building) to come unlock it -- and then they're going to want to know what's going on and who's responsible for calling.

So now what?

Candy

by law, you don't have to tell that you did it.....and from my experience at work yesterday.......be safe rather than sorry. xoxoxo pat

tell the building mngr that you intend to call next time and they should be prepared to be awakened by the police. that may get them to investigate on thier own. anyway if you can help the kid so shes not on a forum like this in 20 years its for the best IMHO

no one can tell the managers that you called. they have a job to do and it might be part of their job to get up at 3 a.m. one morning

candy, i know what you did was difficult, and that you've been very triggered because of it. i think, personally, that you did the right thing and if you feel the need to call them again, do it! i'm sorry they're not giving the situation the attn that i feel it needs, but if you call the authorities, they'll walk in on what's going on. do that if you have to some upcoming nite. you were very brave with what you were dealing with.

be safe and i hope things calm down soon,

You could meet the police down by the door, just pretend, if need be, that you are going shopping or waiting for a friend who is late to pick you up? Talk to the police by door or someplace you designate nearby--do you have a cell phone to call from outside? I understand your frustration. I used to have a neighbor like that, but it was limited what we could do, also. The girl was teenage, and she came to us for temporary safety a couple of times, but the mother came for her before I had any chance to ask what was happening.

Mr. or Ms. policeperson will just ring the bell for the screaming child family. IF they don't let the police it....well, that's just not a good idea! And then the police will contact the bldg manager on their own.

Hey - could you call that 800 # back and give them the update #?

You are so kind to be doing all this for that poor wee child.

emmy

One concern I would have with having the police ring the person's bell is that the police couldn't witness by hearing the sounds coming from the apartment.

what about 911? Just a thaught

Why don't you have the police come to your apartment and then they can hear the child without alerting anybody else or as somebody else already suggested, meet them down in the lobby. Either way, the building manager and the family with the child wouldn't have any idea what's going on.

That's horrible that other organization wouldn't investigate. Simply unbelievable.

I'm glad that you are getting involved to help this child.