So, you want love?

I'm still giving that same unconditional love even though it's no longer received. You can't just shut off love because the other person no longer wants it. It's still here, I still give it but now I give it in silence.

They don't hospitalize you here if you're not suicidal. I've already been to the hospital just a few days ago. They don't even hospitalize everybody who is suicidal. Some they will try to talk out of if they feel they are reachable at that moment. So, been there, done that, it wasn't easy for me to do, I know you know that.

Yes, I'm very much sitting on the edge right now and I am losing ground. Do something different? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm on a ton of drugs and in therapy, have talked with the crisis center, yet here I am, teetering and losing my footing.

AngelGirl could we take this to Bi-polar makes it easier to talk
Angie

Sure. I've already been posting there too.

thanks for your reply........you're terrific

Yes Tryingbelieve, it's a one direction activity. I agree. It goes out from you with no strings attached. What comes back, that's all gravy, the gift of life, an opportuinity to receive. But love went out without a price tag on it demanding the return. Thanks.

but wouldn't the gravy be nice to have for once in your life?

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Emptyglass, thanks for getting in on this. Indeed, you describe what looks like an endless loop of tail chasing which all of us must know. What about some new terms to describe it to yourself? Can you differentiate between the act of loving found inside your self and the longing for reciprocity? I don't find them to be the same. It's a little like adjusting the contrast on your tv, trying different things to see more clearly.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Professor Sqrlb8: My hand is up. Would you mind rephrasing your explanation? You lost me.

And sometimes we realize that love isn't love at all.

LOL, professor indeed, this college is in trouble if sqrls are made professors, yes?

In this thread I am trying to isolate "love" as an activity of our own hearts which we do only because it connects us to life itself, makes us more alive, happy inside. I am hoping that we can remember a part of us that is pure regardless of outcome or expectation, or desire and need.

It's not a lecture, or a sermon, although, embarrassingly enough to me, I acknowledge the resemblence to both. I hardly possess the final word on the subject, and nothing i'm saying here is meant to condemn anyone else's view, or their feelings.

That said, what i'm responding to specifically from your post was the longing you expressed to receive the same expression of love that you feel, from another. (reciprocity, the equal return in kind) We all want that and it is a valid and real feeling. In this discussion, I am trying to illustrate that feelings like that are different from the act of loving itself. (this is where the contrast analogy came into play)

The challenge I'm hoping to present here is the idea of cultivating, or improving our awareness of and ability to simply love for the sake of loving, no matter the result or return of the same. I find it improves every facet of my own life to do so. I'm hoping that this discussion might help others to find a similar benefit.

Am I clearing it up or making it murkier? (sqrls make poor professors, i'm afraid.)

What, no reply for me sqrl?

I know Reah wrote no reply for her she is real and has feelings too
Angie

Interesting. I thought sqrl was replying everybody in this thread but I hadn't actually gone and checked, it just appeared that he had until now at least.

Professor?

And by the way, lest you doubt my knowledge of vocabulary, I know what reciprocity, contrast and analogy mean.

Sometimes it takes some consideration and time to respond. And sometimes I simply have no response. I really don't know what to say to you, Angel.

Frankly, I am bewildered by you and fear upsetting you further.

Can't say it more plainly than that.

bewildered? why would that be?

Also not sure why you think a reply to me would upset me. I thought we were past our situation from before. Has something changed?

If you can't stay on topic, perhaps you would be considerate enough to me and to those who choose to utilize this thread constructively to simply avoid it.

this thread is about love and so is my reply. that is on topic in my book. do you have a problem with me?

this was interesting sqrl- i think im reading it for the first time over and over cause it provokes different thinking according to who i am reading it. So i guess it is also saying more about my self than your saying about you- is that the idea? I just stumbled on it by rambling.

Hi Kathy, I'm glad it's stimulating for you. I think that when we pause to condider love we are informed on many levels and in ways that often surprise us. I use myself as an example I suppose, just to get the ball rolling in a sense, but not to imply that I have any truly unique understanding of it. I'm not Jesus or anything, lol. I couldn't be happier than to hear that it all says something to you about you. Perfect. Thanks for reading, and responding. tc.

great thread you got going here sqrl. thanks again

as to your question: do i love myself unconditionally, non judgementally, would die for, would never walk away from, i would have to say yes if only it didn't interfer with my love, devotion, and commitment to my kids.

i like to think i am a compassionate caring person. i try to help out the less fortunate when i can (my 6ft. stature comes in handy ) i enjoy helping others and expect nothing in return but a smile and a thank you. i have my walls, but i reach out to those who need a hand when i can without passing judgement. i guess you could say from this, that i love everyone until they do something to dishonor this love. it is true love, that i speak of when i talk of the love i have for my kids, that i seem to be only capable of giving to my kids.
does love have different degrees? like the love you have for your neighbor, a favorite teacher, your best friend, your kids, your spouse, your dog, the first whiff of fresh cut grass in the spring, a 90 year old slowly walking through the grocery store with a smile of well deserved pride upon her face. love is everywhere, it comes in different degrees. true love is the deepest, the highest degree.

i could probably go on, but will stop here.
thanks again sqrl
take care
grace

After my mom got sick - she had Alzheimer's - one of my sisters and I were talking about how much we loved her. And I said "it is hard for me to differentiate between how much I love her and how much SHE LOVED ME." I loved that she loved me. I missed it. I still do. I always will. I can't say my love for her was unconditional. My love for her was born out of her love for me. Would I have still loved her? I don't know.

Tryingbelieve, that is a lovely, lovely avenue to meander down about love. It's like the chicken and the egg riddle, which came first? Love is mysterious that way, it leads us to connect dots, to expand the active areas of our hearts and minds. Thank you so much for that.