i wish i could jump inside someone else...

I wish I could jump inside of a normal persons body for just one day. What do normal people think about? What would self-esteem feel like? What would a day be like without self hate, rage, self pity, suicidal thoughts, etcetera?

I watch people all the time and wonder what's in their heads. I wonder if what I feel actually isn't that bad. A friend of mine tried to kill herself last week. I didn't know she felt that bad. Maybe what I feel is normal.

I never feel like I relate to the people I see. It's like I'm on a different frequency than everyone else in the world. At my best people seem garbled with static. At worst it's just white noise. Even when I'm around people I feel alone. For some reason I've always felt like that guy in Edvard Munch's painting The Scream.

I wish I could just get a taste of normalcy. At least then I think I could orient my mental compass.

I don't know what I'm saying. I guess I'm just blowing off steam.

John, it's best to be ourselves, cuz I can't deal with the pressures that "normal" ppl go through, my LandLord has to deal with plumbing and all his tenants complaints, and money problems, most have so many bills, jobs they aren't happy with, hmmmmmm sounds alot like us except they don't have the support we have or the meds to help., the only diffrence is there in denial honey
Angie

Some time back I read about a guy trying start a "Mad Lib" movement in England modeled after the idea of gay lib. I think that he may be on to something. I wonder how many cases of "mental illness" are made to be much more suffering because of the pressure from self and others to be "normal."

Perhaps some of us are rather like sexual minorities in denial. If we, and those around us, could be unconditionally accepting, then some of the misery could be alleviated.

But here's how it would go, since the law of irony prevails over all circumstances: You would find yourself inside the body of someone who wanted nothing more under the sun than to be in your body. There aren't really normal people. It isn't a normal world after all.

I sure know the impulse though, to be anyone but me.

I never wanted to be anybody else, not even while in the darkest pit of depression. I sure wanted to die and kill myself, but I couldn't stand being anyone else; that thought alone gives me the creeps.

Normal is a place that does not exist, so I'd rather deal with my own pile of s,hit - you know, the pile of s,hit I know how to deal with.

Stigma sucks so bad. Like I have a job and come in late every Tuesday coz I go to therapy... Can't tell them that, tho. Dig? No lies, either; just no explanation and that's it. Oh, maybe I do look crazy and nobody will have the guts to ask why I come in late once a week, haha. It would do me no good at all to "come out of the closet" of meds & therapy usage.

Normal.

There is no freakin normal! There is lack of self-acceptance due to hypocritical laws of social mingling. But when you're watching random people, can you really see what normal is? When you listen to people talking stupid crap, do you still think that the problem is you?

JohnShaft, I kind of think you are in a position in life very much like I am.

I'm starting to look at things differently and I feel more positive but that doesn't mean the depression is gone, not by a long shot.

From what I've read of your posts, you are doing much better with women than I ever have and it would be a big step for me if I could get to that point.

I've already learned that "normal" people have their share of trouble but they are just better at hiding it.

I would never want to be normal.

John, Steve Fromholz wrote a song about the bear that lives across the hall from all of us.......Willie Nelson recorded it. The name of it is "I'd Have To Be Crazy".....there is a line in it that I love.....it questions what is "normal"....it is a fabulous song and I've always identified with it. "I'd be on the ground, watching ants crawl around".....just like me!! And I'm not Normal.....xoxo pat

Normal is something we all think everyone else is...

I would love to jump into someone who is less shy, has handled their career life better, etc etc etc.