Wanting to jump!!!!!!

Hi my name is Michelle. I need someone to tell me what is this life for? Why do I put myself thru this, trying to be in a relationship. I have no business doing that. I have lots of rage and anger and guilt and shame. I do not love myself so why would someone else!! My dear old brother made sure of that.

I need some help with my outbursts and my thought patterns. If anyone can give some advice on how to handle those old feelings that remain after the abuse.

I am having a mental meltdown and need some help to overcome it.

Michelle - welcome to PC and I'm sorry you're going through so much painful angst. That can't possibly be easy

Are you seeing a therapist? I would go to therapy every day if it were affordable. It helps me so much.

We'd love to get to know you better -- please hang in there, call a crisis line or 911 if you're feeling desperate, but check for us in Chat or post more on the forums here. We can all talk it out with you

Hi Michelle,

There really is not a simple answer to those questions. It takes time and it does take help, probably more than we can give you here. We can give you some support here though.

I think that a lot of the purpose of life is for us to learn about who we are and find the strengths that lie within you.

As for relationships, we need some kinds of relationships so that we can get the support that we need to overcome our problems, and so that we can learn about what we have to offer others, but you might need to learn to appreciate and love yourself before you are able to give and accept love equally with someone else.

Do you have a therapist to help you learn to control your outburts and thought patterns? Professional help is what it takes for most of us to overcome stuff like that. You might also be able to get some ideas from looking around this site. For thought patterns, you could start by looking at the cognitive distortions in the psychotherapy forum. You will probably get the most benefit if you have a professional to help you learn how to apply it to yourself, and to help you to build your skills.

Welcome to PC - I am glad you found us.
Rap

Well I can connect with you about feeling angry. I use music to make me feel better. Some songs make me cry so at least I get all of my emotions out. Talking to us at PC helps a lot to. I'd just get a bunch of songs you like and listen to them. ((((((Hugs))))))