not sure where to post

well here i am...i woke up this am...so many feelings..anxious..scared..sad..tormented..lost..
tomorrow is my first day back to work....will i make it??is my house in order? am i ready ? will i have a panic attack? will everyone look at me like gee i wonder if she is ok?? i guess i could add confused to my list of feelings this am..i know i have to make this step..i guess i am afraid of failure...you know what bothers me the most in all of this..i want to get better number one for me..but most of all i want to get better for my young daughter..i want her to grow up seeing a strong .stable mom..i want her to know she doesnt have to settle for less then what she desrves in life..she doesnt have to settle for abusive relationships..she doesnt have to take care of someone..fix someone..she drives me to get better for these reasons..but yet here i am feeling like im gonna fail her..i just wish i could get up off the floor and get better...why is it so hard..i just want all my eggs in one basket so to say...therapy is so slow...and my mind races...if i feel like this today what is tomorrow gonna be like???any advice please help????

You have taken that first step - you are going back to work that is great - pat yourself on your back. Baby steps - each thing you do tomorrow will (note the word will) be an accomplishment. Getting up - woohoo - getting ready for work - woohoo - getting in your car/bus however you get there - woohoo - opening the door to work - woohoo. Each thing you do give yourself a woohoo. One step at a time.
Hope this helps
((((((((Sherry)))))))))))

((((((((((((((((Sherry)))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you are having a rough time. Maybe if you can think back to the times you did good things for your daughter it will help you know you are not failing. That can be anything from getting her favorite cereal at the grocery store to giving her a hug and saying you love her. They might seem trivial, but they are major major things and she will remember that.

I so understand the feelings surrounding work. It's hard to work when things aren't settled. I wish I had some advice there for you. For me, if I can get totally involved in a project, I do much better. If you are the same, perhaps you can do that too. Even making a small project to be a mind consuming big one (at least in your brain) might help you stay focused and forget about the racing thoughts and bad feelings.

Do you journal? That often helps me spit stuff out of my brain so it's a little more calm.

Good Luck to you and keep posting. Know that we all care.

((((((Sherry))))) Hugs if wanted.

Sherry I have never met you and already I believe you to be a good parent. I don't believe bad parents worry if they are good or bad. I don't believe they put the welfare of their child first in their mind. I have met some very bad parents and I don't think you qualify.

You may have made some mistakes but if any parent here says they haven't, well I won't call them liars, but I would not buy a car from them.

As for returning to work...that would be hard. I would agree with what was said above. I would maybe add if possible exercise, talking with someone, doing concrete jobs like (yuch) house work.

Sorry this got so long. Good luck!

((((((((((((((((((((( sherry ))))))))))))))))))))) tomorrow just remember that you're being held very close and very safely in thought. also, remember to breathe, darlin...just breathe.

we'll be here. please let us know how it goes...

I don't have any advice, except one day at a time. That's all you ahve to do. You don't have to think about forever- just this day.

Keep reaching out to us, Sherry.

Take care and good luck!!!
Angela

((((((sherry))))))) Like someone said to me the other day...just remember to breath. Try not to think of all the lil worries. You're doing really great and you're a great mom that is focused on the right stuff. Try not to worry about lil things that will probably be okay because you are exhausting yourself with that. Take baby steps and with each accomplishment realize it to be giant leaps forward . Don't forget to pack yourself snacks

Hi Sherry --

Welcome to the forums! I agree with everything others have posted. Bad parents don't think about whether they are doing well or not.

Going back to work is a huge step! I haven't worked in almost a year, although I am teaching part-time and doing some freelance assignments. I dread the day I have to "report in" for set hours. I haven't even started and have the same fears about how I will be able to handle it -- when I can handle life now without a job.

General is a good place to post when you aren't sure where to post. There are Forums for many topics, such as Depression, Anxiety, Self-Injury and survivors of abuse. Feel free to listen in or jump right in to any of the threads. I am sure that you can find a supportive group of people here who understand what you are going through and will offer love and support.

((((((((((((((Sherry))))))))))))))))

I'll expand a little on SweetCrusader's post. If you're worried about the whole day, then break down the day into tasks you have to do. Getting up, getting ready for work, taking care of your daughter, and such. Maybe you could plan your day out tonight, one thing at a time, and when tomorrow comes, instead of fretting about the overwhelming number of things that you have to do, you can just focus on the individual task at hand... one thing at a time. Before you know it, it'll be one day at a time. I'm not sure why things are so hard for us. I was terrified to tell my boss that I have to have an afternoon of each week for therapy because in my own head it makes me vulnerable. I think you are an amazing person for finding the strength to start your life again. You are very brave and you sound like a mother any child would be lucky to have. Keep setting that example for her. You're doing great. I'm thinking of you. Much love.

Ryan

I hope tomorrow goes ok for you, Sherry. It might be easier than you think

thank you all for your words it means alot!!!
when tomorrow gets tuff not only will i think of my daughter..but im gonna think of all of you to get me thru..thanks you guys!!!

Always here for you. Always.

Awesome (((((((((((((((((sherry))))))))))))))))) You can do it girl! Let us know how it goes.