[NotGivingUpYet]

I trying TMS as a last resort and to hopefully save my life from suicide. It is nothing like I expected. Today was day 2. Both days were extremely painful. Like the worst pain I have ever felt in my life. I did a lot of research and nobody described anything like what I am feeling. I sat in the chair and cried the whole time because of the pain. It literally feels like someone is drilling into my scull through my temple. This make child birth a piece of cake. I can't go through with this. Had anyone else experienced this?? It's not supposed to hurt this bad. I feel so hopeless!

[Eliza Jane]

Explain this to your doctor in exactly the words you use here. That sounds like something is very wrong. I have never heard anyone say that and I looked into a lot before I had it. My experience was that it was annoying, not painful at all.

Good luck. I'm sure they can do something to make the process better for you.

[TheWell]

Did they start right at full strength? If it's painful they are suppose to start at 85% of strength and work up as you get used to it. If it's that painful it sounds like they didn't do that.

I just went through it a few weeks ago. Feel free to PM me any questions.

[ChangingMyMind]

Hi NotGivingUpYet, I recently had 6 weeks of TMS (ended on 9/3/14) . The first day was horrible for me but it got a little better after a few weeks. Although it was still painful, so bad that my head would go numb most of the time. BUT we found out half way through that my head was not sitting on the head rest properly. This was due to their failure to explain to me how to sit in the chair during the MT Hunt. After we repositioned and did another MT hunt it was no longer painful and my head did not go numb.

You may want to have them look at the positoning. Also like TheWell said, it may be the strength. They had to slowly move me from 90% to 120% until I got used to it.

One question, does your right hand move during the pulses? If so I would ask them to make changes since the pulses should not make your arms or hands move. It IS OK to have your face or eye brow twitch during the pulses.

On another note, I did feel pain in my neck and back, like shooting pains all through treatment. I was also always lightheaded. They told me they didn't think the shooting pain had anything to do with the TMS but after treatment finished the pain went away completely so I am convinced it was the TMS.

Knowing all of that I would do it again because it did help me somewhat. I hope to do a Booster of 15 sessions. Hopefully I'll be in remission by then.

Good luck you you. I really hope you can get through it without the pain. I also hope it rids you of the depression!

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[NotGivingUpYet]

I have explained it to the doctors. They say that it should ease up, but it hasn't. Not one bit. I am only doing 80% and it's extremely painful. They ask halfway through if i can go up to 85% and I absolutely cannot. I can barely make it through 80% without screaming. I agree that something is very wrong here. These doctors are at Johns Hopkins and really seem like they know what they are doing. They have done this for years, numerous times. It's so bad that I cannot sleep. I'm having panic attacks just thinking about the pain. I can't even talk or berate during the 4 seconds of pulsing. My thumb does not twitch but my teeth chattered uncontrollably last time. They spent a great deal of time making sure the positioning was correct, and rechecking it throughout the treatment. This is just an awful experience. I can't even describe the intense pain. I will never be able to tolerate 120% so I may as well stop now because this in ineffective.

[possum220]

When I had TMS it just felt like a wood pecker at my head. Not painful. Something is wrong. They are in the wrong place. Tell them to change where the nodes are or you will stop. You are paying for it, money wise and pain wise.

[ChangingMyMind]

Originally Posted by NotGivingUpYet

I have explained it to the doctors. They say that it should ease up, but it hasn't. Not one bit. I am only doing 80% and it's extremely painful. They ask halfway through if i can go up to 85% and I absolutely cannot. I can barely make it through 80% without screaming. I agree that something is very wrong here. These doctors are at Johns Hopkins and really seem like they know what they are doing. They have done this for years, numerous times. It's so bad that I cannot sleep. I'm having panic attacks just thinking about the pain. I can't even talk or berate during the 4 seconds of pulsing. My thumb does not twitch but my teeth chattered uncontrollably last time. They spent a great deal of time making sure the positioning was correct, and rechecking it throughout the treatment. This is just an awful experience. I can't even describe the intense pain. I will never be able to tolerate 120% so I may as well stop now because this in ineffective.

Something does seem wrong. It really didn't hurt much at all for me when the position was correct. Just annoying, it only hurt a little toward the end like the last few minutes of treatment.

I'm sorry it's not working out for you! I've truly never heard anybody say it hurts to this extreme.

I can't think of anything else to do. You are doing rTMS right? Not deep TMS? Is it a NeuroStar machine?

One other thing I can think of during treatment is that my jaw muscle would activate and my teeth would chatter, so I kept my mouth open a little to alleviate both. Doesn't sound like that is your issue though, sounds like the pain on the head hurts the most. Does the pain go away after your done?

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[NotGivingUpYet]

Yes it's rTMS and I'm not sure what kind of machine. Day 3 was much better. My husband came with me for support. I took a Tylenol 3 for pain and a vistaril for anxiety. The pain was not as severe and it was tolerable. Halfway through I was able to bump up to 85%. I finally had some hope!! Day 4 was also okay. I just took the Tylenol 3. Vistaril knocks me out for the rest of the day and I'm so sleepy I cannot function. But that's ok because my anxiety was only from the pain, and when the pain decreases so does the anxiety. Day 4 was a little more painful than day 3 because we started at 85% and moved up to 90% halfway through. Still tolerable pain. I think the medicine took the edge off. It wasn't so sharp and stabbing. I think I can do this for 30 sessions although I do hope the pain continues to lessen! I also hope that eventually I will be able to get through a treatment without the medicine.

[ChangingMyMind]

Great to hear it's more bearable! It should be routine soon. I hope it gives you the relief you're looking for!

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[Altered Moment]

It gave me a headache and I would call it annoying but not painful. I describe it as a jack hammer beating on your skull but that is just what it sounds and feels like but it is not painful like you would picture that. If I remembered to take aspirin or tylenol beforehand I did not get the head ache.

So for me it was not really painful but annoying.

[possum220]

How is the TMS going. Has the pain stopped.........?

[NotGivingUpYet]

So I'm more than halfway through my TMS. It is still painful but not unbearable. I finally reached 120% and 5000 pulses. However, I am not responding to the TMS. Tomorrow they are going to start bilateral treatment. I am basically hopeless at this point. I feel like I am going to be depressed and miserable for the rest of my life

[ChangingMyMind]

Originally Posted by NotGivingUpYet

So I'm more than halfway through my TMS. It is still painful but not unbearable. I finally reached 120% and 5000 pulses. However, I am not responding to the TMS. Tomorrow they are going to start bilateral treatment. I am basically hopeless at this point. I feel like I am going to be depressed and miserable for the rest of my life

Hang in there. They say sometimes it takes until week 5 for people to start to see a change. I didn't think it helped me but now I've been done for 2 months I can look back and see it did help in some ways. I think my problem is more anxiety now than MDD which would explain why it didn't fix me completely.

Your protocol seems different. We only did 3000 pulses and only on 1 side, the left side since that's all that is FDA approved.

Are you in the US?

I want to try it on the right side for my anxiety. I read an article yesterday that says TMS is showing to be very beneficial for anxiety in clinical trials. Wish I could find and get into one for GAD.

I hope you start to feel some relief! I know the feeling of hopelessness, believing you will never get out of the depression. Try to think positive. I know it's hard but I can honestly say after 8 months of agony I finaly feel some relief. I'm not out of the woods but a little better and a little is better than nothing. Hang in there my friend!