A heart solution instead of a head solution?

When my husband visited in the hospital, I shared that I had gotten to the point where I was bargaining with God… “Oh God, if you can make this test come out OK, I promise that I will do my best to get healthier.” The day I got out, I had not made any changes to how or what I was eating. My husband saw this and without any pressure said, “ Do you remember you owe somebody your end of a deal? I guess that really starts tomorrow.” I had already forgotten what I had told him in the hospital. I thanked him for the reminder and I realized that he was really worried about me.

My friend called me up a couple of days after I got out of the hospital and told me she was sad. She knows better than to try to convince me to change my eating behavior. She know’s I’m trying. I know it scares her to see my physical condition. We both know the reality of my deteriorating health.

My teenage son caught sight of the bruises on my arm from where blood was drawn and the different locations where IVs were tried, before one could be successfully started. He just asked what happened and had a pained, sad look on his face.

A blog on psych central said something about how the power of emotional connection with others was so much stronger and reliable than rationally trying to convince yourself to make positive changes; that it would have to be a strong emotional reaction that would keep me determined to not give up when my usual rational motivations start seeming not so important.

Has anyone else heard this or experienced this? I think it might be true. I do know that I can't trust my mind to help me make good choices around food. I hope maybe this heart thing will work.

I've experienced it in a different context, but yes, I've experienced that. It's often frustrating to me because I feel like most therapy approaches are head-centered. I understand why I think and feel the way I do, but I can't think my way out of it, so I often feel like I've failed at treatment. The times it's helped have been when I could connect with someone on a heart level and really believe that they cared and that I mattered to them.

Thanks, so much for sharing. It's so hard for me to accept that I can't think my way through this. I like to think I can handle anything on my own. I'm not that good at relying on other people and letting myself feel that they really care. Plus I guess I just feel terribly guilty thinking about how I'm letting people down or causing them pain.