[LittleLeah]

My psychiatrist has been pushing for me to make an appointment at an eating disorder clinic (Emily Program) to get treatment for overeating and binging. I am extremely torn. An eating disorder clinic would mean that I have an actual problem and right now I'm in deep denial about that. I know that I overeat and binge but I feel like it's more a lack of control and willpower. If I tried, and when I've tried, I've done fine and lost weight. But on the other hand I know that I'm also completely out of control, especially when my other mental health problems are too hard to handle (depression and c-ptsd). I'm also blowing a ton of money on binges. They are not cheap!

I don't feel I'm bad enough to label it an eating disorder, but I also don't think I have enough control to handle this on my own.

Also, I'm embarrassed that this is an issue. Especially with my fiancé who is the opposite and hardly eats. He tries to be supportive but because he doesn't have the same problem he can't relate. And then on the opposite side there is also my selfish desire to lose weight for my wedding and I'm thinking that this clinic might help with that. But I know that's not a healthy way of looking at recovery too.

Too many conflicting emotions!

[Skeezyks]

Hello LittleLeah: It's been a few days since you posted this. I hope some of your conflict has now resolved. From what you wrote... it sounds as though your pdoc is making an appropriate suggestion. I'm certainly no expert on eating disorders. But lacking control & willpower, it seems to me, would be one of the characteristics of an eating disorder... just my personal perspective... Anyway, could you perhaps go in for an evaluation without actually committing yourself to the program? Perhaps this might help you to resolve your conflicting emotions. Good luck!

[tree7car]

If you are in the area for the Emily Program, you might also be in the area for Melrose Center. Both take insurance, but they might take different ones or offer different payment plans or sliding scales. I know Melrose has monthly info nights for BED...it might be worth going to one just to find out more about the diagnosis and what treatment could offer. Going to a info night doesn't mean anything but you want more info. Good luck.