Need some advice!

I am brand new to this but really need some outside advice. My husband and I have 3 beautiful kids one of which we adopted. We are now going have our latest addition baptized.(the adopted child) For financial reasons we dicided not to have the big traditional hoopla we did with the first two. So to keep it simple we invited Grandparents, Godparents and ourselves. Here is my problem. My husband wants to invite his brother which happens to be the biological father to our son. I do not get along with this man and he is not welcome in my home at this time.(he is into drugs and alchol) Also I have brothers and sister on my side with kids. What do I tell them. Am I being unreasonable? We made the decision along with the help of the agency not to treat the bio dad any differently. He is considered the Uncle to all our kids. My husband stopped talking to me and now he wants me to cancel the baptizm. I don't know what to do.

Thanks so much,
Busymom123

if you are only going to invite grandparents and not aunt and uncles then the uncle should not be on the invite list or invite all the aunts and uncles. your hubby sounds like he's having a temper tantrum and will have to get over it, but he's having a temper tantrum for a reason. does he feel bad that the actual father will be the uncle, sad his bro lost his son, men are complex and something is bothering him and he's using the baptizm as an excuse to act out. i'd ask what the problem is. maybe his bro is giving him grief that you don't know about. hope that helps.

Hi Busymom

I think you should invite the biological father with the stipulation he remain sober for the event. I understand financial difficulty, but scaling back on the traditional hoopla you gave your own children symbolizes this adopted child doesn't mean as much to you. If you're inviting the godparents, I think it would be a nice gesture to invite the child's father too.

Maybe the baptismal should wait until you can offer this child the same as you gave the other two children - as not to make one child feel any more important, or less important, than the other ... and then the guest list can be expanded to make room for your husbands brother - problem solved and future sibling problems avoided.