husband schizophrenic? what do you think?

Hello,
I am posting here because I have gotten to the end of my rope. My husband and I have been having marital problems for years now, married 11. He has recently started seeing a therapist due to his extreme anxiety. His therapist says he may have adult ADD and urged him to see a psychatrist to get diagnosed. My husband refuses, but I think he has more than ADD. He often tells me how people are out to get him, they see all he has and wants it. There are many times where he is sitting and just spaced out off in wonderland, my kids and I will try to talk to him, but he is totally checked out. He can take care of himself as far as cleanliness and holding a job. He drinks alot and smokes at least 2 packs a day. Our communication is zero and there is nothing physical between us anymore. He has problems with people touching him, even if it's someone he's known for a long time. Of course he has let me touch him, we have three kids, but anyone else no. He was severly abused physically and sexually as a child by his alcholic father and his mother ignored and pretty much abandoned him. I am worried because we are separating and he wants to split kids 50/50 but I can't let him stay with the kids for a long time without someone else there. It scared me he is too mentally unstable. This sounds like schizoprenia to me, what do you think? Any help advice please and thank you!

We can't diagnose, since we aren't professionals, but I agree that it sounds like something more than ADD is going on. Since he won't go to a psychiatrist, then I suggest you make an appointment with a counselor and talk about what's happening. And it will be helpful to have someone to share your concerns with.

He does sound like he has some paranoia. And depression. We can certainly support you here. It is tough when our spouse is struggling and won't get help.

Please keep us informed. You might try posting in the relationship forum as well. (Hugs)

Since you are separating and have kids, I hope you have an attorney (not the same one he has, either.) I am very sorry that this man whom you tried to make a life with is so sadly damaged and that the dreams you once had a in shambles. Advise your attorney that you fear your husband can not responsibly care for your kids on his own, even temporarily. Eventually, this will be a matter for a judge to decide. In all too short a time, your kids will not be little kids anymore. The day will come when each of them will make his or her own decision about relations with Dad. Encourage them, as they get older, to be charitable in their regard for Dad, who is suffering, after a life of more hurt than he could cope with. Explain that they must always put their safety first. It is not okay for them to be alone with a man who is drunk. Make a plan that they will call 911, if ever they do find that they are alone with a Dad who is drunk. That's a good opportunity to get the problem documented.

What counts most is not his diagnosis, but his behavior and whether, or not, he is safe/appropriate to be around. Have your own lawyer and discuss these concerns with that lawyer. Distancing yourself from him make involve a financial cost. In live, as you know by now, there are trade offs.