Dealing with an NPD partner

Been with my Partner for 7 years, and after the 18 month of honeymoon period things got ropey. I was somewhat naive and thought that as she was perfect she must have some inkling of my life and needs. But over time began to see if I didn't fight hard all the time I would be squashed. In a relationship it is too easy to claim the faults are in the other, I reckon she has NPD because:
she is very competitive in all aspects of life, in sport she is very good and gets obsessed with winning all the time, and gets to hate other women who are no real sport threat. I DONT REALLY ENJOY SPORT WITH HER , IN ALL THINGS SHE GETS ABSORBED, ENTERS HER ZONE and excels, there is no communication whilst the sport is happening. If I buy a phone she then buys the model above, at work she is the only one competent and motivated to do the job properly, coleagues are occasionally perfect, but more likely villains.
If something fails she is never able to see that she may have been a contributor to the cause, but if there is success she trumpets it from the rooftops.
She is a very angry person, it trips very easily, sometimes me, sometimes others catch it.
She doesn't do empathy - if it is a 3rd party she is very good at seeing their needs, but if her interests are involved they are not seen. this has hit me hard of late as I have a disabling injury that is removing many activities for me - I struggle with this loss, but in the same house she is trumpeting her latest victory.

Oh yes, history gets re-written to keep her squeaky clean in all things

Can anything be done? I dont like running away but it does have its appeal. How could I ever get her to recognise she may have NPD?

I have wondered also if some of my relationship problems may stem from an undiagnosed PD in my SO. Putting together two people, one of which is depressed (me) and one of which seems to have some sort of personality DO, though I haven't been able to pinpoint what it might be, is a lose-lose situation. I spend alot of time crying and he spends alot of time telling me how nobody else will ever want me or put up with me, why I have no right to feel the way I do, and that I am crazy and everything is all in my head. I broke up once and he said he would go to couples counseling, only to come back and tell me that he wasn't going because I was the one who needed to get help, and that if anyone tried to tell him otherwise he would just get up and leave (and tell them to go f*** themselves, in his words). I would also like to know how you can make people realize that they are contributing to the problems in a relationship when they have no insight. This is all so confusing for me
I feel like I have tried everything. Please keep up to date on your progress and I will as well...there has to be something that works.