[jie2006]

I am here because I am a daughter who basically just had a "conversation" with my mum---well, she screamed all the way and I kept ignoring/begging/crying/threatening for her to stop.
In short word----My parents got divorced 5 years ago. They HATE each other. I need money for my university and my mum doesn’t have a job /my father is not very happy to pay.
I could always cope with the money thing (after all there must be a way), I can accept the fact that my father "has his own life " so that he couldn't meet me when I need him. But plus a mum who goes completely crazy in the middle of the night just because I am planning to visit my father after a whole year not seeing him.
Just fells like I need to get away from both of them before I start to hate them.
HELP. PLEASE.

Try and stay neutral. Don't say one single thing that favors one over the other, as they may very well repeat it in order to gain "points".
Divorce is nasty (although fortunately I haven't had one..but know plenty who have) so like it or not, they have forced you to quickly grow up on your own and you will have to make decisions that are best for you....not best for your parents.
Just try and weather the storm and appreciate the pain they are going through.

[_skylin_]

oh geez.....((((((HUGS))))) what an ordeel. is there any way you can get some asistnce thru the scool? i'm so very sory your parents are handling this so badly. while i dont' have any real advise for you, i just want you to know that maybe a brake from them isn't scch a bad idea.
telling your mom WHY you are sseeing your dad and if sshe has any sugestns. if not, then ya gota do what ya gota do. and it has no bearing on how mcch you love HER. they BOTH are your parents.

thinkin of you, ttruth.
sara

[alisandria]

Go to your counselor or financial advisor and tell them of your financial woes, that is what they are there for. You can also go to a school counselor and speak to them of your personal issues. Many schools have a psychologist and therapists on campuses, and are available to speak to all students that go there.

As far as the parents issues go...maybe write your Mom a letter telling her how you feel, in a compassionate manner that is. Maybe your mom feels threatened by your dad's new life and his ability to move on that easily. However, you do have the right to see your dad, and it would be nice if your mom could at least stay neutral about it.

I agree, don't let yourself get put in the middle of their arguments...don't repeat things said about them to the other, serves no good. And if one asks something of the other, just say I can't answer for XXXXXX, you have to ask XXXXXXXX yourself. That usually works, pretty well. If you have to follow it up with, I respect both of you and feel I am being put in between when you say this or that...be constant about this, they both will get the pic soon enough. ((((hugs)))) to you, hope you can get things down to a mild roar! Lisa

[JustAPixie]

(((((((((( jie )))))))))))

I hope you have a T you can talk to!

[alittlehoshime]

Hi there I really can feel how your're feeling coz all this while until now my family have a crisis. Only now is getting better. Crisis like until my dad claimed that they wanna to sell off the house and distributed the money to me and my sibling to live on our own. etc etc a lots of things been happening.......... But I really thank GOD that He provide me with support. not just internet but also i have a lots of good frens, psy and pdocs to help me up and my family members. But of coz they focus on me first. I've learnt things and got tougher in life. And I believe that U too CAN do it. you need to find as many supports as you can but preferably frens at ur college, neighbour whom you can meet them face to face. and yup a psy at the same time be brave always and start looking for job i've done that too until now i still have saving though am not working and I did go somewhere ..( unable to work at the moment....... )
Dont worry you're never be alone be strong always no matter what perseveres NEver Give Up! hugiesssssssssss

with love
hoshime unami

[jie2006]

Thank you thank you thank you to all the support here.
I 've just seen my father. and mum is o.k. with that right now....don;t know about next time yet...
I guess that's life..I am o.k. now, the problems are still there but ,hey, there must be a way. the most important thing is that I can go through those really bad moments.
hugs to you all. THANK YOU

[alittlehoshime]

Hey np anytime do come back anytime and no matter what u will never be alone and I can quarentee u that ok.

((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))) cya tc ta ta

with love
carol

[jacq10]

(((((hugs))))))

I feel for you, I really do., My parents just recently got divorced and trust me when i say i completly understand about how hard it is to deal with them. My mom and i fight all the time, and my parents hate each other as well. I find the best thing that i can do is just to put a little more space between me and them. try not to get involved in their fights, or talk about one to the other .. but i'm sure you already know this. Just take one day at a time, and make sure you take some time for youself every once in a while. Do you have someone that you can talk to about any of this? A close friend, relative, counsellor? It helps to talk and let some of these emotions out.
Feel free to message me anytime if you want to talk. Take care (((hugs))))